Mum's taxi for 18 year old daughter

[westendgirll]

My daughter is home for the holidays after her first term at uni. Last night, she went out to see all her old school friends and told me that she was getting a lift home. However, the friend changed his mind and I got a message asking for a lift back at 11pm.

We live 2 miles from the town centre so I went and got her. My husband (her stepfather) did his nut because he thinks that she should have got a taxi back. I disagree because she was a woman on her own. He isn't talking to me this morning and is still very angry.

He keeps going on about how he wasn't given any lifts by his parents at the same age and his son was in the army in Iraq at 18!

I think it's no big deal and, as a woman, she is vulnerable from dodgy taxi drivers and drunks, etc,but he won't have it!

A very weird reaction from him! I've picked lots of people up from nights out if their lift has fallen through (including the in-laws) who I'm sure are more than capable of getting a taxi but why not help someone out?
Not sure why so many posters are also insisting she got a taxi?!?! Weird. Surely it's no big deal?

When she phoned, that would have been the time to ask her if she could get a cab to save you from coming out, but if you didn't ask, presumably because you didn't mind in the slightest going to get her, then what's the problem? It could have been that there was a 1hr wait for a cab, or that she'd rather give you the cab fare (which would be nice gesture), or any number of perfectly acceptable reasons!
As for your other half, you could try to establish EXACTLY what he is objecting to, because his behaviour is bizarre to put it mildly. Probably he is jealous that you are giving your daughter lots of attention (naturally) because, whilst she's been away at Uni, he hasn't had to share you. He's acting like a nasty little spoilt child. Don't let him make trouble whilst she is home. Quietly explain to him that it was your choice to pick her up and it would be very nice if he could respect your decisions. Then go out with your daughter, enjoy her company and stuff him! Treat his behaviour with the contempt it deserves. Xx

Dad’s taxis is quite along established company for me.

Quite a lot of business from all 3 (2F, 1M) over the years.

Nights out, hobbies, evening work. Club nights. Unqualified paramedic work, friends home etc etc.

One of my friends summed it up - ‘you know who they are with, you know they are safe’

I think your DH is being somewhat unreasonable.

His son may have been to Iraq - but this is an irrelevance in this discussion. He was the Army’s responsibility.

As a PS Dad’s taxis has branched out into removals, garden services, kitchen fitting and decorating.

that is terrible that he was annoyed with you, if that was my husband I would be the one kicking off at his attude towards this situation ,I have daughter who is older than 18 now but i dont care if she calls me even at 3 in morning at 18 or older & has to wakes me up i am going to pick her up ,ive picked her up many many times & my niece too who been with her on night out & when they can't get a taxi home together , after all he should be thinking you want them to be safe and I am sorry the way the world is out there towards young girls alone its not good , i am shocked he said that to you about his step daughter ,you where 💯in the right to pick her up has her mother and should never be questioned or make you feel quilty about it🥺

that is terrible that he was annoyed with you, if that was my husband I would be the one kicking off at his attude towards this situation ,I have daughter who is older than 18 now but i dont care if she calls me even at 3 in morning at 18 or older & has to wakes me up i am going to pick her up ,ive picked her up many many times & my niece too who been with her on night out & when they can't get a taxi home together , after all he should be thinking you want them to be safe and I am sorry the way the world is out there towards young girls alone its not good , i am shocked he said that to you about his step daughter ,you where 💯in the right to pick her up has her mother and should never be questioned or make you feel quilty about it🥺

You are not being unreasonable. I don't care what age my kids are I'd pick them up day or night if it mean they are safe.

I don't think you should have expected her to get a taxi - if you were awake and able to pick her up then you should have if you wanted want to. She went out with everyone thinking she was getting a lift back from a friend - when they let her down why should she have been expected to get a taxi esp. if her mum is happy to pick her up? I always do so for my DD if she asks- I wouldn't want her to ever think she couldn't ask me. Getting a cab has been proven a danger for women- and whilst we shouldn't wrap our kids in cotton wool we should protect them as much as we can.

Tell him to F off. It's absolutely nothing to do with him if you choose to go and pick up your daughter!

Sorry i disagree with your comment to this lady how has she been unreasonable 🙄she went to pick her daughter up who was alone on her own late at night 😬

My DDs are early 20s now but we and (now Ex)H have always driven them wherever they needed to go unless it was like a 20 minute walk or something. Even then we'd take them if it was bad weather or dark. We fully intend to continue to do this until we have to stop driving or they learn to drive or simply stop asking us. WTAF would we not do this for our own kids? Utter madness. If they need/want a lift then I cannot for the life of me understand why you wouldn't help a family member and particularly an 18 year old girl!

Agree I though the same,if her mom doesn't mind whats the problem?

Wow, he sounds like a dick. If it was his own daughter I bet he'd think differently.
What's the harm in collecting your child (male or female) late at night (drinking or not)?? I'll happily collect my child, where possible, even when he's a grown adult.

This!
He does sound controlling tbh.
I would have done the same for my dd.
He is being unreasonable and it's nothing to do with him.

I am on you with this. I would pick my kids up regardless of age if out at night. Anything could happen. 18 is not a big number, despite what other people may, or may not do. I would tell your husband to grow up and it ain't about him not getting a lift when he was younger or his son being in the forces. No way would I leave my kid at night in need of a lift home.

Even if you weren't worried about taxis etc why on earth does he think he gets to tell you that you can't give your daughter a lift?

I would have done the same as you. Your husband is being completely unreasonable and behaving like a spoilt child by not talking to you. This is very manipulative, childish behaviour.

I regularly pick my daughter up.

I'm a night person so I'm awake anyway.

She could walk home or get a cab from the clubs but there's always a very long wait for a taxi. I don't want her waiting around on her own.

He isn't talking to me this morning and is still very angry.

There aren’t sufficient words to describe how much I hate sulking! He needs to grow up.

I’m 32 and don’t live with my mum anymore but I know if I ever needed her she’d come and pick me up no problem at all if she could - in fact she’s always offering to pick me up from the station or whatever even though I’m happy to walk (and usually do say no!)

Parents can do whatever they want for their children - his anger is just bizzare!

No you are not being unreasonable. Plenty of young women and girls have come to harm making their way home alone after nights out by getting into rogue taxis.
If your husband has that much disregard for her safety then I would be very reluctant to listen to anything he has to say regarding her.
Sounds like your a good Mother. Imagine how you would have felt if something had happened and she hadn't come home. You can always find a new better husband, you'll never replace your children.