AIBU re lifts over Christmas ?

[Netball01]

We are hosting my in-laws on Christmas Day this year - I’ve just found out that they are expecting me to drop them home as they want to have a drink and I’m teetotal. AIBU to think this is cheeky and to say no ? My DH is putting on the pressure for me to do it.

For context, they live about 15 mins away so it would be a 30 min round trip for me. We aren’t asking for any contribution towards hosting (financial or otherwise).

YABU - give them a lift
YANBU - don’t give them a lift

I'd do anything for 30 mins away from the house on Xmas day, I feel trapped all day until bedtime. So i would do it.

Imagine the return journey, window down for fresh air, music or podcast on. Bliss.

If you don't drink anyway I think it seems a bit mean not to give them a lift, 30 mins isn't a long drive.

Obviously only you can decide that, but based on what I would do I would just give them a lift and not stress over it.

I’d happily give friends or family a lift in those circumstances - half an hour gives everyone else time to tidy up while I’m away and can relax when I get back.

Can you explain why you don’t want to? Late/tired? Don’t agree with drinking? Hate always being the chauffeur?

Because 15 mins there and back isn’t a huge deal. So you do need to explain why it’s a problem.

Okay interesting seems IABU!

I guess I just get fed up of the expectation that I’ll be the free taxi driver always. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve had to drive miles out my way because friends and family haven’t made their own arrangements to get home. If I’m in the car and it’s on my way or not too far out the way I will always offer but I just feel as a host it’s not my responsibility to make travel arrangements for guests - if I drank then they would have to sort themselves out.

Can I ask what is putting you off? Are they going to want to be going home very late when you want to be settled in?

I’m teetotal and I would do it.

I do think they should ask you nicely and be appreciative rather than just assume though.

I do also understand that after a day of hosting and cooking, it's nice just to be able to put your feet up and not have to go back out.

Do it on the understanding that DH does the washing up and straightens the house out while you're gone.

Yeah I do get that. It’s the assumption that because you don’t drink that you’re happy to ferry people around at the end of every evening.

I’d wait and see if they ask you politely and are appreciative rather than just expecting you to do it.

Only do it if you want to. If you don't want to then they will have to make their own arrangements.

@Strawberrylacess yes I guess I feel like I’m making a huge effort with all the hosting and to then have to drop people home is an added chore

I would drive if I wasn’t drinking and get DH to clean up whilst I was at it.

I think it's the assumption that you'll do it without even being asked.
How are they actually getting to your house ?
Do you think they'll want to stay late ?

Well I would tell them to get a taxi if I were hosting. That is going a bit far to expect the hosts to do all the Christmas gifts, house cleaning, clothes preparation, decorations and meal, drinks, service, dishes, cleanup and childcare to be expected to add driving on top of that!
Why not open a hotel while you are at it!

Surely people who intend to drink too much can plan their own return transportation.

Don't let anyone @Netball01 make you feel obligated or guilty if you choose not to do it.

The expectation on Christmas Day would piss me right off - however, plus side is you decide what time they go or they pre book a taxi. Plus any clearing up is done while you are out.

Ask your DH to stay sober till he has taken them home and returned

Fair enough to be pissed off in general if it's an expectation, and by all means start putting your foot down. But family, Christmas Day and 15mins? Yeah I think it's a reasonable assumption tbh. I did it without question the years I was pregnant.

I personally would give them a lift.

Why dont you want to as its only 15 mins away? If its a problem for you then they can just book a taxi.

I’d get your DH to do more of the cooking/clearing up during the day so you don’t feel like you’re doing everything. And I’d also use it as a reason to take them home early/at a time that suits you! My in laws have form for overstaying on Christmas Day and we just want to go to bed!

I would do that for mine if I'm teetotal

You sound fun

Why can't your DP do it?

Or as others have suggested, DP does the trip in the morning, you do it in the afternoon (and DP tidies up while you're doing that).