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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re lifts over Christmas ?

673 replies

Netball01 · 18/12/2023 15:47

We are hosting my in-laws on Christmas Day this year - I’ve just found out that they are expecting me to drop them home as they want to have a drink and I’m teetotal. AIBU to think this is cheeky and to say no ? My DH is putting on the pressure for me to do it.

For context, they live about 15 mins away so it would be a 30 min round trip for me. We aren’t asking for any contribution towards hosting (financial or otherwise).

YABU - give them a lift
YANBU - don’t give them a lift

OP posts:
JaceLancs · 18/12/2023 15:48

If you want a drink just say no and suggest they book a taxi in advance

StrictlyComeSnoozing · 18/12/2023 15:49

I think you sound unduly hostile about it really. I'm not drinking and have just offered to pick people up and drop them off so they can freely enjoy a drink. It would feel awfully strange not to offer.

Groovee · 18/12/2023 15:49

I would as I don't drink but if I wasn't up for it I would expect them to book taxis.

Cosyblankets · 18/12/2023 15:49

I wouldn't hesitate to give them a lift.

JustOneMoreBaileys · 18/12/2023 15:50

They could book a taxi but TBH, I think a 30 min trip is minimal and would do it.

But that's me.

PastelHouses · 18/12/2023 15:50

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

SecondUsername4me · 18/12/2023 15:50

Errrrr....the assumption from them would bug me, but as there will be a sober driver in the house on Christmas day, yes I would have worked on the assumption that they would do any driving.

Presumably your dh will be doing other things to contribute to the day?

Redshoeblueshoe · 18/12/2023 15:50

They should just get a taxi

Backtoreality1 · 18/12/2023 15:51

If they asked I would do so with pleasure - however, if there was an expectation without even consulting me, then it would be a straight refusal!

TheChosenTwo · 18/12/2023 15:51

I’d do it. 30 minutes isn’t especially arduous even after hosting. I do drink but generally happy not to if other people live further away and really fancy a drink so I do a lot of driving. The roads won’t be very busy.
But I do think they should ask you nicely.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 18/12/2023 15:51

I'd give them a lift. It's only 30 minutes, not 3 hours.

thetworonnies · 18/12/2023 15:51

If I wasn't drinking I'd definitely pick up and drop guests home on Christmas (or any) day.

Notmetoo · 18/12/2023 15:51

If you don't plan to drunk I don't see the issue. In the same circumstances my family and friends would offer to give me a lift I wouldn't need to ask.

BeadedBubbles · 18/12/2023 15:52

I wouldn't have had to be asked - I'd have offered. 30 minute round trip when you don't drink is surely no big deal? Season of goodwill and all that?

takealettermsjones · 18/12/2023 15:52

Why don't you want to?

I tend to think it's useful to have a favour 'in hand' in these situations.

Notmetoo · 18/12/2023 15:53

Redshoeblueshoe · 18/12/2023 15:50

They should just get a taxi

Easier said than done on Christmas day especially outside big cities.

Housebuyer37 · 18/12/2023 15:53

I would and did on the Christmas I was pregnant and obviously not drinking. Didn't occur to me not to really, just the easiest way to do it.

SecondUsername4me · 18/12/2023 15:53

BeadedBubbles · 18/12/2023 15:52

I wouldn't have had to be asked - I'd have offered. 30 minute round trip when you don't drink is surely no big deal? Season of goodwill and all that?

Yeah this.

Tistheseason23 · 18/12/2023 15:53

It’s not far and you don’t drink so I would do it if I were you.

Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 18/12/2023 15:54

If I was teetotal then yes I would give them a lift, seems a bit mean not to

LadyDanburysHat · 18/12/2023 15:55

I would do it too, it seems a bit arsey not to. But if you don't want to then your DH can stay sober until he takes them hom.

usernother · 18/12/2023 15:55

I'd give them a lift. Very mean not to if you're not drinking and it's not a long journey.

Isitisit · 18/12/2023 15:56

For a 30 minute drive I would do it but my family would do the same for me. From you saying they expect it - is there a backstory here where they are quite demanding?

Sartre · 18/12/2023 15:56

I would do it personally. I wouldn’t if they lived miles and miles away but a 30 min round trip is nothing.

ohtowinthelottery · 18/12/2023 15:56

Crikey I'd do that for friends never mind family if I wasn't drinking.
In fact, twice this week I've given a friend a lift to an event and from the station because they were drinking and didn't want to drive. On one of those occasions I had a glass of wine just poured but delayed drinking it until I'd collected friend from the train station 45 mins later.

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