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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this attitude isn't on

241 replies

Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:28

I'm separated from ds father but we have remained friends.
Ex could always be awkward opininated etc and it's possible ds has also picked up some of his traits although not all and ds isn't a big fan of his father either.
Ds is at university and is coming home for Christmas although he isn't too enthusiastic as he says his room is cold it's too far to the gym and his bed small single is uncomfortable I have been upset about my ex and ds attitude in recent days so go easy on me.
I've messaged ex to say I've ordered a new bed for ds and his reply was Oh fuck off your spoiling the brat and it won't be put up.
Aibu to feel I've been disrespected.

OP posts:
WillowTit · 18/12/2023 07:30

will you put the bed up in time?
sorry that your ds is being moany, i think that is par for the course once they start university

DustyLee123 · 18/12/2023 07:30

Why are you texting him about a bed? Your DS is an adult, no need to communicate except in an emergency.

Whataretheodds · 18/12/2023 07:32

I wouldn't be impressed with a 'friend' talking to me like that.

Original poster
Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:33

DustyLee123 · 18/12/2023 07:30

Why are you texting him about a bed? Your DS is an adult, no need to communicate except in an emergency.

I was communicating with ex as its going to his

OP posts:
Calamitousness · 18/12/2023 07:34

Well, he’s an ex for a reason. I wouldn’t care if his reply was arsey. Ignore him and carry on and build it yourself. Things like beds are not difficult, most companies will assemble on delivery. Mine always have but even if not, it never looked hard.
I think your son will have just sat exams and be a bit done in. Hopefully when he gets home he will be lovely to you.

DustyLee123 · 18/12/2023 07:34

You’ve paid for a bed that’s going to be at his dad’s?

Original poster
Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:35

DustyLee123 · 18/12/2023 07:34

You’ve paid for a bed that’s going to be at his dad’s?

Yes for ds

OP posts:
Original poster
Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:36

Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:35

Yes for ds

Show quote history

Due to the fact that his dad won't spend the money

OP posts:
Motheranddaughter · 18/12/2023 07:37

Well I think that was a mistake

Hercisback · 18/12/2023 07:37

You've sent furniture to someone else's house expecting it to be put up?

I'd expect the same response.

pickledandpuzzled · 18/12/2023 07:37

You’re massively unreasonable buying furniture for someone else’s house. Massively overstepping.

DS is an adult it’s his job to sort these things out now.

TinselTitts · 18/12/2023 07:37

Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:33

I was communicating with ex as its going to his

Show quote history

And you're going to put it up?

pizzaHeart · 18/12/2023 07:38

I didn’t understand your bit about traits and attitudes but I would prefer bigger bed always, I used to have small double as a teen and bought the same for DD.
Have you bought a new bed for DS? Do you need any help to assemble it or with money towards it from your Ex? If not , why did you message him?
I wouldn’t answer and wouldn’t message again. I would screenshot just in case.

AhBiscuits · 18/12/2023 07:38

I don't think you should just buy furniture for someone else's house.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:38

You didn’t bother to even ask

just ordered

pickledandpuzzled · 18/12/2023 07:39

You have given the ex three extra jobs in the week before Christmas- a bed to take to the tip or get collected and one to put up, and waiting in for delivery.

DS won’t sleep on it more than a few times a year.

Man, if the ex was on here complaining you’d be getting a pasting!

Original poster
Desperatetime · 18/12/2023 07:40

I just want ds to feel comfortable when he comes home is that so bad really.

OP posts:
MrsSchrute · 18/12/2023 07:40

YABU.

Your ex doesn't sound great, but you can't just buy furniture for someone else's house without asking them first!

pickledandpuzzled · 18/12/2023 07:40

And you’ve undermined his parenting.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 07:41

op on another thread you say you are in a lot of debt, so really not something you should be spending money on either

DustyLee123 · 18/12/2023 07:41

Does your DS have a bed at your house?

pizzaHeart · 18/12/2023 07:41

MrsSchrute · 18/12/2023 07:40

YABU.

Your ex doesn't sound great, but you can't just buy furniture for someone else's house without asking them first!

This^
sorry, haven’t seen your update’s before posting previously.

pickledandpuzzled · 18/12/2023 07:41

Can he not stay with you? Do you think this is the way to get to see him more often?

WillowTit · 18/12/2023 07:42

oh i have just seen your have ordered a bed for his dad's house?
over stepping really, no wonder he is annoyed

LucyInTheParkWithDragons · 18/12/2023 07:42

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