To absolutely hate it when people do this to me at parties and gatherings

[Unchristmascadeau]

I like listening to music at parties/clubs (not that I go clubbing now!) I hate dancing in public. I accept I’m in the minority and most people seem to enjoy it and that’s fine.

What I HATE is when people try to get me up to dance just because they’re enjoying dancing. Like if they’re a bit drunk they dance over and actually take your hand and pull you up on to the dance floor. It makes me feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable. Happened twice at our Xmas night out and it’s so awkward having to smile politely and say no and afterwards I just feel like such a boring weirdo because everyone else is dancing and I don’t want to.

Please no snark as I’m feeling a bit shit about myself today but just wondered if anyone else hates this?

YANBU I fucking hate this too. They start with beckoning gestures and sad faces if you don't comply. Then they come over and pull you out of your chair.

Yes, I really cannot dance at all - I am a clumsy, heavy-footed person - and have no wish to make a spectacle of myself.

I hate this too!! I can't dance and don't want to, I don't give a shit if others think that makes me look miserable/boring. "oh its just fun!" not to me it isn't, sod off

YANBU. These people are too thick to realise there's more than one kind of fun.

I rescued a woman at NY because she's a new girlfriend of a man with a hugely extrovert family. They're a fucking nightmare tbh, and they were dragging her to do a solo dance in the middle of the circle. She looked SO awkward. I HATE those things too, so I dove in to join her so she wasn't alone.

Thank you - I’m so glad it’s not just me! I was the only one not dancing at our work thing and just felt like such a sad case. And yes to the sad faces when you decline!

Yes me too. I only used to dance if I was very drunk but I don't get drunk anymore so never want to! I wish people could just accept that.

I despise the dance floor at a Christmas party, wedding, birthday or whatever. Happy to listen decent music, but I’d really like it if a games table was provided as well. It would need to be well away from the disco music so that players could talk but a table with Connect 4, Yahtzee because I’m also not interested in getting leathered. Happy to drive home so that people will leave me be about drinking. I don’t have a problem with saying “No thanks, I don’t want to“ but it does get a bit boring after the 6th or 7th time.

This is why I don't go to work parties.

No, it's not just you. I simply cannot dance in public, much as I'd love to. Very happy bopping about in the kitchen with the radio on though.
It's easier saying no to being pulled onto the dance floor when you get a bit older. I found it really hard when I was young.

I hate this!! Which is why you will always find me in the quiet room or whatever it is called at things like weddings. My group are going out for the Christmas meal next week, at a venue specially chosen because it has dancing. I will be leaving early, as soon as the dancing starts, because I cannot stand the frequent attempt by my friends, restaurant staff, people at other tables etc to get me to join in. I don't want to!!

It has nothing to do with extroversion, more lack of theory of mind and/ emotional intelligence. The kind of people who think there’s one way of enjoying yourself. The same people who can’t cope with someone not drinking.

Give the wannabe Strictly gang the meanest death stare you can muster. Works for me.

YANBU and I feel exactly the same about this behaviour. If someone tried to physically pull me onto the dance floor I think I would get quite stroppy with them. I certainly wouldn't go along with it, and if they tried to overpower me by brute force I'd put in a complaint. So far it hasn't come to that - I just keep saying no, and if someone wants to make an issue of it, I explain that I am an introvert and it makes me uncomfortable. (I realise that is not the actual definition of an introvert but it's a term most people seem to understand.) Or if it's someone I know well, I might tell them the whole truth, which is that I can sometimes get in the mood for dancing if that play music I love, but most of the music they play at discos leaves me cold.

YANBU OP. Absolute worst nightmare. You feel like you look like a right party pooper if you insist on saying no, then sway around feeling like a total idiot if you give in.

ill admit, i enjoy the food, the chatting, and company but certainly no dancing for me, i generally dont feel the beats or the need to dance

I am exactly the same as you. I don’t dance in public and hate it if anyone tries to make me. I am quite content to enjoy a drink and watch others dancing!

I don’t really have any problem just saying no.

This really pisses me off. The last time this happened to me, I said NO multiple times and then people started to stare.
You know what doesn't make for a relaxed dance, anxiety and irritation. I stood on his toes and headbutted him. Shockingly, he let me sit down after that and didn't bother me again.

I agree. With age comes more assertiveness, and the ability to not give two hoots about their manipulative “sad faces”.

Oh my god I always thought it was just me 😅

My reply is, only dance to Northern soul so fuck off with an added haha as humour. 😁

Me neither
However I still don't enjoy the continual nagging and get hauled at.

@10HailMarys well done you! Not everyone has the ability.

@Unchristmascadeau YANBU at all - anyone who makes you feel lacking for not being able to "join in" with the dancing or for not being able to say no (it is NOT always easy in the moment) - not worth your time. Enjoy the music and keep your head held high

I hate this too. Even more now that everything is photographed/videoed and posted onto bloody social media. I don't want to dance and I really don't want to see myself as a sweaty, grumpy, uncoordinated mess on FaceBook the following day.

Ok, I'll go against the grain, and I say this as an introvert who as a rule, dislikes parties but likes music.

They're doing it to include you because you're presumably sitting by yourself, not talking to anyone. They're a bit pissed, and even if you're actually fine, you look alone and left out and they don't want you to feel left out. If you're engaged in a really interesting conversation with one or more others, they're not as likely to be trying to include you.

Few people are expecting much more than a side to side step with a bit of singing and pointing. Personally, I feel more conspicuous and self conscious sitting alone at a party while everyone else dances, than I do having a little shuffle as part of a crowd.