To absolutely hate it when people do this to me at parties and gatherings

[Unchristmascadeau]

I like listening to music at parties/clubs (not that I go clubbing now!) I hate dancing in public. I accept I’m in the minority and most people seem to enjoy it and that’s fine.

What I HATE is when people try to get me up to dance just because they’re enjoying dancing. Like if they’re a bit drunk they dance over and actually take your hand and pull you up on to the dance floor. It makes me feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable. Happened twice at our Xmas night out and it’s so awkward having to smile politely and say no and afterwards I just feel like such a boring weirdo because everyone else is dancing and I don’t want to.

Please no snark as I’m feeling a bit shit about myself today but just wondered if anyone else hates this?

I hate this too .... I was at a wedding of one of DH's work colleagues earlier in the year - with DH - and I was sitting nicely after munching quite a lot of food and guzzling a pint in 2 swigs, and feeling OK but actually a little bit bloated and full. I just wanted to sit and chill and listen to the music and watch people dancing ... It was half hour to forty minutes into the 'night do.'

One of the bride's cousins dragged me onto the dance floor - saying 'come on Mrs BORING. DANCE!!!' I said 'not yet, maybe in a bit.' She ignored me and just grabbed hold of my wrist so hard that I'm pretty sure she bruised it ... She literally dragged me onto the dance floor really hard. I'm not kidding you - she actually hurt me ...

I felt like such a big fat clumsy lummox dancing with all that food and drink inside me - and I didn't want to fucking dance ... I might have wanted to half an hour later, but I didn't want to dance right then. I just slithered away from her after a couple of minutes and sat down again. It's so rude and obnoxious. If I don't want to dance leave me alone. I do love a dance, but I will do it in my own time! I fucking hate pushy people!

I love dancing, but if I don't want to, I don't want to.
I have actually caused arguments at karaoke nights by refusing to sing, even though I do tell people ahead of time I won't sing!
The times it turns into arguments it always goes the same way: with 'ooh no thanks, remember I don't do karaoke! I saw they do xxx song, you should have a go at that!'
Which then goes to:
'No thanks, just having fun watching!'
Then: 'No, really, not my thing, happy to watch!'
Normally people give up by that point. But I have on two separate occasions made people genuinely annoyed by refusing and they started arguing with me 'you must push yourself out of your comfort zone once in a while, you might find you like it, you'll be glad you've done it, it's just a laugh etc etc'
First time I didn't know what to say so I just laughed awkwardly then left.
Second time (and I really recommend this) I went for the grey rock 'no, thank you!' With a big smile, no matter what they said. That worked a TREAT. highly recommend it as a tactic.

I really hate this.

What bothers me most though is thinking back to all those times when I was younger and let people do this to me rather than telling them to fuck off.

Wallflowers unite!

Yeah you're right. People tend to notice the REALLY GOOD dancers, who actually have proper talent eg if they're doing the jive or something to Rock Around the Clock. Or the ones who are normally very very quiet who come alive on the dance floor flinging their arms about and really getting into it.

But the average person just shuffling around, feet from side to side, no-one even notices.

😂. Not really but I wouldn’t even mind this as much as when a particular friend (who is lovely but very different from me) gets everyone to dance round in a circle holding hands.

YANBU but I personally don’t mind as I’m a shy soul and if someone comes over and brings me onto the dance floor I feel happy to be included.

You aren't wrong OP! I actually really like dancing in a dark sweaty night club where everyone kind of mashes together and the energy is high. I feel really uninhibited then and love it.

What I HATE with the fire of a thousand suns is a large, brightly lit dance floor with only 8 or so people on it and the cast of a hundred all sat around it watching everyone with their chairs all facing the dance floor, all gawping. It absolutely makes my skin crawl- it's like being in a fishbowl where you are the entertainment and it's always the really drunk twats who dance terribly trying to forcibly drag you up there. It gets progressively worse and worse when certain songs come on and they try and encourage you to do "the actions" with them as they drunkenly fall all over you like some misfiring robot whilst you have a rictus grin on your face pretending its such "fun". shudder.

It's not even about hating dancing, it's the environment that matters to me and I don't enjoy feeling like some forced court jester who is being manhandled up there like some kind of dancing clown.

SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!! My husband gets annoyed with me when I won't dance, I'm happier to be chatting away a just leave me alone

I hate dancing too!

I love a party but on more than one occasion have had to tell complete strangers that I can't dance because I have have a "bad leg". I purposely leave it ambiguous, which stops them in their tracks, as they don't want to be the one to drag an injured person onto a dance floor. The last woman to do this to me sobered up pretty quickly and spent the next 5 minutes apologising to me. And I let her.

I love a buffet but I don't go round a party stuffing sausage rolls in the faces of people I've decided aren't eating enough.

I have actually caused arguments at karaoke nights by refusing to sing, even though I do tell people ahead of time I won't sing!

Same. Until one night when I got absolutely hammered, friends did the usual "oh come on- just sing one" stuff. I was so drunk by that point that I staggered on stage, sung Prince's kiss- (I never knew your voice could sound simultaneously flat and screechy at the same time) then promptly fell off the stage in a drunken heap.

No-one has ever pressured me to sing Karaoke again. RESULT!

I don’t think anyone likes this do they? It generally comes from the dancer being a bit self conscious, so forcing dancees to join them, knowing it gives them power and makes them look and feel less awkward.

Those people who are a little "me, me, me" but pretend to hide it would love it. Sometimes you need it to get out of your shell a little, like where you want to dance but you're not sure how to get started?! I don't know.

I don't mind people doing it, if when I smile and say no thank you they leave me to it. It's the ones that pull you despite your protests that really piss me off.

I thought I was the only person who felt like this 😂😂

They are a bit pissed and are trying to include you. I don’t think there is any need to take it so personally. No is a complete sentence!

But like many on this thread, the experience tends to be that 'no' is just ignored... hence you get the manipulative sad face looks, told you are boring, then the finale of being physically lifted from your seat.
No one has ever left it at no with me. Never.

I love to dance, don't even need a drink in me. I would never force anyone up on the dancefloor in all honesty. No means no and you should respect someone's choice.

I agree. YANBU.
If I'm not dancing I don't want to.
People who drag others reluctantly onto the dance floor are insensitive and completely unreasonable.

I hate this too. Actually I don’t mind being asked the first time but it’s very annoying when you say no and they keep going on and on at you to get up and dance. There’s trying to include people and then there’s making people feel uncomfortable when you won’t accept the first response.

I love dancing and wouldn't force someone onto the dance floor but there is nothing worse than having a good time and someone just watching you. It's is awkward if someone is just sitting their watching you

Ok, I read ‘no is a complete sentence’ a lot on here. Well, less these days. Thankfully as MN tropes go it’s dying a bit.

But…is it a complete sentence?! It’s a pro sentence, sure. But it’s anaphoric and rude. 😂 no one just says no.

I'd love to be confident and skilled enough to get up and dance but I'm not. It gets to the point where I feel too uncomfortable to walk to the toilets as I know someone will try and get me to dance on the way.

I avoid parties as much as possible now for this reason.

Ah well done!

This happened to me when heavily pregnant and therefore totally sober. I’d have given it a good go if drunk/not top heavy.

But like many on this thread, the experience tends to be that 'no' is just ignored... hence you get the manipulative sad face looks, told you are boring, then the finale of being physically lifted from your seat.
No one has ever left it at no with me. Never.

Exactly. They don’t listen to no hence this thread lol. If people asked and respected your “no” then no one would be posting.

They don’t take no for an answer and try to physically drag you up there. It’s happened to me many, many times and I bloody hate it.

As someone rightly said upthread, at a buffet I don’t go around trying to force food into people’s mouths because in my opinion they aren’t having enough food or fun, so why does it happen with dancing?

I really thought I was the only one! Yes I really do not like it. I often get made to feel I’m strange and people feel sorry for me! I had to on my wedding day ofcourse but for months after I kept cringing. I still have not seen my wedding video as I do not want to see the first dance!