To absolutely hate it when people do this to me at parties and gatherings

[Unchristmascadeau]

I like listening to music at parties/clubs (not that I go clubbing now!) I hate dancing in public. I accept I’m in the minority and most people seem to enjoy it and that’s fine.

What I HATE is when people try to get me up to dance just because they’re enjoying dancing. Like if they’re a bit drunk they dance over and actually take your hand and pull you up on to the dance floor. It makes me feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable. Happened twice at our Xmas night out and it’s so awkward having to smile politely and say no and afterwards I just feel like such a boring weirdo because everyone else is dancing and I don’t want to.

Please no snark as I’m feeling a bit shit about myself today but just wondered if anyone else hates this?

Like the old song says, ' I won't dance, don't ask me '.
I'm with you all the way with this one , it's just so incredibly rude to expect anyone to perform in public when they clearly don't want to.

I would love to see anyone of the people who voted YABU to post... but they wont.

Take photos of the dancing instead, is my advice. It’s a good way to make sure everyone starts showing off for the camera rather than trying to make you dance as well!

I didn’t have any dancing at my wedding, just drinks, nibbles, chat. Everyone seemed happy without it. You don’t have to dance at a wedding and neither does anyone else!

I just say 'No sorry, I have a dodgy knee and have been advised not to dance' My knee does click alarmingly, so I'm not averse to demonstrating the click.

I feel so much better reading these replies - thanks everyone. I really was feeling like such a boring loser, it just feels like dancing is something that seems to come so naturally to everyone else. I remember once at a work do being forced up into the dance floor by my boss and having to dance in a circle with her and two or three others and the whole time I was honestly just dying, I have never felt so self conscious in my life.

I hope maybe some people will read this and think twice about trying to pull people up on to the dance floor next time they’re out. If people want to dance they will dance, if they’re sitting at the side please just leave them be!

Ah, my people!

Hate it, won’t do it.

My extended family is big on ‘community hall parties’ which means cringe dancing. Partly why I don’t go to family events anymore.

I think this scenario is indicative of a bigger issue: people who can’t accept that others are different from them.

YANBU, I always think it's really awkward to see the dancer make an embarrassment of themselves trying to drag other people up with them. It's a clear indicator they've had a bit too much to drink and have lost inhibitions. Someone sober would recognise that if a person wanted to dance they would, and that people don't have to dance/might have plenty of reasons not to (not that they need a reason). I respond with an initial smiley 'no thanks, you enjoy yourself!' and if they keep pushing I don't hesitate to snatch my body part back and say 'I said no' rinse and repeat until they bugger off.

I'd also like to add those fuckers that film everything! There's a special place in hell for you. It's no wonder no-one can have fun anymore as you can't act like a twat and dance (on your own accord, not dragging anyone else up), without a flipping phone in your face, for no reason other than so they can laugh at you.

I saw on Tik-Tok, someone had filmed a load of grey haired (what looked like) older Gen X or Boomers rocking out to a meatloaf style song. It had some sort of incredibly sappy, caption, and the comments were the inevitable mix of horrible and patronising comments.

But the point is, they were having a great time and I don't even think they knew they were being filmed. There's was literally no need for it to be filmed as (if it had been me) there's a good chance the memory, these people will have of this great night will now be tainted by embarrassment of everyone commenting on their dancing and music tastes.

It's a bit like people who INSIST you must want an alcoholic drink. We all take our pleasures in different ways, people shouldn't assume their way is the only way.

I would also add that this is something that most often happens to women - men might be asked once but are then left to get on with enjoying themselves however they want. The 'girls' have to perform!

I absolutely hate this too. And then they’re like ‘come on, stop being boring’ or ‘have more to drink’ or whatever they say and it ruins my night. It makes me feel like I’m no fun and bringing the vibe down!

You are not unreasonable at all. I like dancing but I will not dance to a song I don’t like and would hate to be made to.

"Same as when someone buys you a shot without you asking, puts it in front of you and orders you to drink it. Unimaginative twats."

Yep. DH's uncle does this at every family event. At a big birthday party a few years ago he kept bringing Sambucca shots around and demanding we join in with a collective "Down In One!", making a big angry scene if anybody refused. DH discreetly emptied our glasses into the floral display on the table and refilled them with water. It was quite fun watching the uncle get pie-eyed while thinking we were joining in, but it would be better if such subterfuge wasn't necessary in the first place.

I hate it too and wonder why they feel the need to do it especially if you look uncomfortable. I’ve been known to sneak out before it happens😊

Good on you - I’m going to try this next time it happens. You’re right about them being embarrassing but they’re usually too drunk to realise.

Yup, I hate this too.
I'm ambidextrous so struggle with lefts and rights meaning no co-ordination whatsoever.🙄
In fact I pity the poor sod asking me to dance 😂

I love a dance floor 😂 but totally respect that not everyone does. Each to their own. It’s doesn’t affect my enjoyment if you (or anyone else) doesn’t dance 💁🏼‍♀️

I'm now 65 years old and my biggest regret was to not learn how to dance on a dance floor. So so many times ive sat on my chair watching people dancing and enjoying themselves ,god i wish i had learned.
I've only ever got up to dance just the once,4 years ago at my works Christmas party,to this day I will never know why I did it. I just heard "come on Eileen " start up and I got up on the dance floor, there were only 3 other people dancing.....I hadn't a drink inside me that night but when I look back I realise that was one of my best nights out ever!! Lol
I've never done it since☹️☹️☹️

Gosh yes!!! I am the same, love music but do not like dancing in front of other people! Hate it when people try to force me to dance!!!

Gosh I am quiet shocked reading this post and replys. I defo have asked ppl to dance in the past but not dragged or made any sort of a scene etc. The reason I ask is because some people do actually want to dance but dont have anyone to dance with or are afraid to go on the dance floor usually girlfriend/ wife of a none dancer. If they dont want to go fair enough no big deal. I didn't realise that some people hate it so much and I will not ask anyone again aside from friends. Having said that I havent danced in a long time.

I do want to say a few thing. Aside from the obnoxious people generally people are trying to be inclusive. Secondly people on the dance floor really dont care how others are dancing and are not being judgemental. So it is the people not dancing that are in fact being judgemental. Thirdly I remember doing a presentation course before and them saying that there is an invisible box infront of your body from your hips to your shoulders. You can move your hands anywhere in this box and it acceptable to others (sorry bad choice of words). Outside this box movements are exaggerated and these stick out and irritate others. So obviously no one should be forced to dance or do something they dont want to do but if a person that hates dance ends up on the dance floor then shuffle and just move your hands a bit in front of your body. I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas.

I'm usually way too absorbed in my own macarena moves to worry about making other people join in.

So happy to have found kindred spirits..! I am another who finds dancing excruciating. I just don't enjoy it. It's not necessarily about being looked at, as I love karaoke and will happily belt out a tune - I just don't like dancing. I'm an appalling dancer anyway.
I can't understand people who seem to actually take offence when someone politely rebuffs their attempts to drag them up. Why do they care? I had a woman I'd never met before in my life tell me that I was ruining my sister's hen night because I didn't want to dance. My sister didn't give a shit, she knows what I'm like and she was quite happy for me to sit at the bar and chat to people. This woman, (some work colleague of hers), seemed to take my disinclination to dance personally, it was so weird. I told her to piss off and leave me alone in the end.

I love dancing but would never force others to. Yanbu.

I find it nice that people don’t want you to be stood alone / left out.