To absolutely hate it when people do this to me at parties and gatherings

[Unchristmascadeau]

I like listening to music at parties/clubs (not that I go clubbing now!) I hate dancing in public. I accept I’m in the minority and most people seem to enjoy it and that’s fine.

What I HATE is when people try to get me up to dance just because they’re enjoying dancing. Like if they’re a bit drunk they dance over and actually take your hand and pull you up on to the dance floor. It makes me feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable. Happened twice at our Xmas night out and it’s so awkward having to smile politely and say no and afterwards I just feel like such a boring weirdo because everyone else is dancing and I don’t want to.

Please no snark as I’m feeling a bit shit about myself today but just wondered if anyone else hates this?

I fucking hate this too OP.
Same as when someone buys you a shot without you asking, puts it in front of you and orders you to drink it. Unimaginative twats.

Yes I LOATHE this. Especially when they say "don't be so boring!" when you say no.
Fuck. Off.

I don’t like dancing unless very drunk! When a bit tipsy I find it so awkward but tend to do it anyway as you always look worse declining!

Yes, I hate this as well.

I went to a xmas disco at the start of the month, and I kept apologising for being "boring" for not dancing. Thinking back, I had nothing to apologise for.
I was enjoying watching other people dancing. It was all getting filmed anyway, that was a big nope from me from the get go.

God I wish filming people without their consent to publish online would die a death.

I absolutely hate it till I've had a couple of drinks, then I like it, and finally I'm dragging up anyone I can find.

I love dancing, its one of my big passions in life, but I still think this is totally a dick move. I completely get that for other people dancing in public is like being in one of the inner circles of hell.

Keep,away from the dance floor whilst they're all hot footing it about?

I stand at the bar with my back to it all if I'm not up for it which is often. I do have a don't fucking come near me face though!

I'm a words person. I don't mind giving a presentation in front of a big crowd.

I'm not a movement person. I feel horribly self-concious when made to dance.

I hate this personally, but as I've got older I am hugely less self conscious about this because people just don't care in the way I thought they cared when I was younger (iyswim). They literally don't think about it.

So unless I'm being asked to do a specific thing like breakdancing or waltzing, I now just get up and wiggle about for a couple of minutes.

I realise I'm now fully in Nana territory but here we are.

Get up, start dancing, immediately twist yourself off the other end of the dancefloor and go back to what you were doing.

Fuck em

Absolutely hate this. My husbands family do this to the point they seem more interested in getting people to dance than actually just enjoying themselves and dancing.
i hate the “don’t be boring” and over the top hand gestures like dancing with them is the only way to have fun.
i was at a family wedding, they had a band playing rock and roll music - good for them, they love that style … me? Really not my bag and they just couldn’t understand how I could still enjoy myself chatting with people and not doing the run/dance to the dance floor waving my arms about the place shouting “tune”

This is why I avoided Christmas nights out! Luckily my now-ex worked shifts so I had the "can't get a babysitter" excuse ready. In reality I had my best night in watching a film with some nibbles to hand.

I went to work to work, it wasn't a social activity so I saw no need to socialise out of working hours. I've got friends for that!

YANBU but at the same time there might be people sitting down who wouldn't mind having a dance but how awkward would you feel if you just stood up and boogied on over to the dance floor 😂whereas if someone gives you their hand it's a bit of an ice breaker. So I would suggest if you don't want to be disturbed, do not watch or make eye contact with anyone dancing.

It's definitely not just you. I hate it too. Especially the pulling at you and over the top persuasion. It's like no just doesn't mean no for them. Then the isolation when you are sitting there, especially at weddings. I actively avoid this now. Very social with meals out, ant fir of entertainment, dinner parties etc. But anywhere with a dance floor. No thanks.
I had to miss a wedding last year. My friend said you missed a great wedding, we were never off the dance floor.....
I was so 😔

I have friends who I have made at work and friends who I have made outside work. It always amazes me that posters on Mumsnet can't fathom how people at work might also be your friends.

What OP said but in my case they feel the need to tell me 'You really can't dance' after they've pulled me on the dancefloor and seen me strut my stuff

YNBU. At all. see also, those (mostly men) who grab you when you’re on the dance floor, enjoying a dance and they grab you and try to make you do some flipping awful attempt at a strictly come dancing move with you! I’m a weird dancer, as I have very little sense of rhythm and really don’t like dancing with others up close.

Sometimes, I like dancing, sometimes, I love it, sometimes I absolutely am not in the mood. Whatever dancing I’m doing has to be on my terms and if I’m not in the mood, do not force me to do it!!

Northern soul dancing would suit you.. You dance on your own. 😁

My husband is firmly in the ‘I would rather die than dance in public’ camp. He’s a charming and sociable but people trying to force him to dance completely ruins a night out for him. It makes him feel so awkward and incapable because he physically can’t bring himself to do it and then the whole ‘having to firmly refuse’ thing makes him feel really anxious and miserable. I completely get it OP.

Urrrgh someone tried to do this at my work Christmas do . They were from another company so a complete stranger.

they actually tried to physically lift me up

I hate being touched , and the college next to me shooed her off

luckily we made light of it and moved on from it very quickly so it wasn’t an issue

never had anyone try pick me up before that was new

People kept doing this to me at my wedding then saying for example I don’t want to hog you and next thing you know I’m standing on the dance floor on my own. Happened about 6 times. Worst perpetrators are the flower girls. If I ever get married again they’re not involved 😉

Oh yes I hate this. I went to a wedding a couple of years ago. I was 8 weeks pregnant after ivf and previous losses. I started bleeding a bit. I was the only person in the room not on the dance floor. Some drunk random bloke tried relentlessly to convince me to dance. Tried and tried and tried. I was trying to hide what was happening in front of everyone which was really hard and made worse by this random man.

Personally, I feel more conspicuous and self conscious sitting alone at a party while everyone else dances, than I do having a little shuffle as part of a crowd

I fucking hate both but I'd probably feel less embarrassed about sitting alone while everyone I'm with is dancing if they didn't keep telling me I'm boring. Why can't people leave me alone? I hate parties for this reason. At the last one I couldn't get out of I hid in the toilets for half an hour.

I hate people who try to force me to be Jolly and Join In Properly. If I don't feel like dancing I don't feel like dancing.

I would be inclined, if someone manhandled me onto a dance-floor, to go rigid, utter a sharp scream, and explain that I have a bone in my leg before sinking gracefully back onto a chair. It confuses people wonderfully because they don't know what it means but can't quite ask, and they will then leave you in peace.