To absolutely hate it when people do this to me at parties and gatherings

[Unchristmascadeau]

I like listening to music at parties/clubs (not that I go clubbing now!) I hate dancing in public. I accept I’m in the minority and most people seem to enjoy it and that’s fine.

What I HATE is when people try to get me up to dance just because they’re enjoying dancing. Like if they’re a bit drunk they dance over and actually take your hand and pull you up on to the dance floor. It makes me feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable. Happened twice at our Xmas night out and it’s so awkward having to smile politely and say no and afterwards I just feel like such a boring weirdo because everyone else is dancing and I don’t want to.

Please no snark as I’m feeling a bit shit about myself today but just wondered if anyone else hates this?

I’ve found my (non dancing) tribe! I can’t say how much I loathe hate and detest it!
Like some other pps I’ll happily bop about the kitchen when it’s just me and the dog, but NOT at parties etc.

My only exception, being Scottish is at weddings if there’s proper ceilidh music, because there are set steps for the dances and I know them! Then I have to be held back!

This was me 10 years ago absolutely not me today. My colleagues and friends know better than to try... even if they're pissed. A very firm "no" with a complete clouding of my already resting bitch face is enough to put a complete stop to it if it did happen.

The great thing about getting older and getting confident and having belief in yourself is you don't give a shit what anyone thinks and your best friends love you no matter what.

I have brought entire ballrooms to a halt when I have been the only guest to refuse to join the hokey-cokey.
I love observing a club night, I will never join in and anyone who knows me, including DH who loves a boogie, would not invite me to join in.

I fucking hate it when people do this. I actually like dancing. I prance round like Bonnie Langford at home. BUT…I have to be in the mood. Nothing is more mortifying than being dragged up at a shit wedding when you’re not pissed enough and hardly anyone is on the dance floor.

Yes this is me. I'd love to as well, but i kind of seize up!

I feel seen! I like dancing at home in the kitchen with my toddler. Dancing in public has been a phobia of mine since adolescence when I realised other people just knew how to do it and enjoyed it and I didn't understand how I didn't come programmed that way too. I am just not built that way. I wish I was. Much easier now I am older as others have said but was a real issue for me when younger as I was embarrassed

If I like the music and have had a drink or two I don't mind it because I genuinely don't care what I look like/if I'm dancing goofy. But at my works christmas party the music was so shit (club like music. Not what I'd call Christmas/New Years party music) and I couldn't drink so not a good combination. I did try and dance but honestly felt so uncomfortable so just sat back down and talked to some of the others. It's like I forget how to dance if I'm sober 😬
I can understand why you wouldn't like it, if I try and get someone up and they shake their head/say no that's fine, I'm not persistent like some people can be

That as well was a figure of speech- realise you didn't say that your husband would love to. I fully understand his anxiety about it

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND MY PEOPLE.

I 100% agree with you. Imo the only thing worse than this is when they try to get you to sing karaoke!

Accessories with a walking stick or crutch. When asked wave it

Just say no. I love dancing and I wouldn’t drag someone up if they REALLY didn’t want to get up. Just “no, don’t ask me again please” rinse and repeat.

OP, I think we were separated at birth.
Since adolescnce, I have had a visceral fear of dancing.
A few years ago I declined an invitation to a friend's birthday at a swanky French château because I knew there'd be dancing.
That is how terrified I am.

I hate this too. I don't/can't dance, and going out isn't really my thing anyway. But this still happens to me. And it's with family who know I don't dance. I always say no but then they get annoyed and ignore me because I've said no. Clearly they don't know me at all, which bugs me. And they wonder why I try to avoid as many situations like that as possible.

I don’t mind dancing, when it’s music I actually like and want to dance to but being forced to dance to music I don’t like, or worse in some sort of formation just makes me want to crawl inside a hole.

I agree and it makes you feel rubbish

They tend to be people who are complete opposite to me - i.e. have a very full social battery and like to be around people all the time. I'm an irritating so and so who likes to be there, but I don't need constant interaction and often need to go outside to breathe and recharge. I dance for a bit then dodge out as soon as the attention has drifted elsewhere.

Best tactic IME is immediately remove yourself from line of sight. The next victim will come into view.
Be on the look out for the usual culprits and stay out of their runway.
Sometimes I get up with them and then keep walking off the dance floor- they've usually moved on to someone else.

(I love dancing, mind).

In both cases, dancing or karaoke, folded arms and a tapping foot combined with a patronising sneery look works wonders, rarely does anyone try it twice!

I like dancing but I can't abide dancing to songs I don't like. It's annoying if someone tries to make me dance to a song I'm not into so I can understand the pressure if you don't like dancing at all.

It's a bit like karaoke. It will never be me. I love music, I play the piano, I know what "in tune" means, and I'm not it. I don't care if people tell me it doesn't matter how I sound, no, I'm not doing it. I don't wish to murder any song that I like and songs I don't like I won't enjoy singing along to, so.....

Row Boat Song doesn't float your row boat, then? 😆

I’ve found my people.. absolutely hate dancing, always have. One persistent and irritating woman kept trying to drag me up at a wedding once. When I finally told her NO, she went off in a huff and complained about me to everyone else! She should have spent time cleaning her ears out instead… 😒

Thing is, what people won't realise is there's a lot of enjoyment to be had in watching others genuinely enjoy themselves. So even if you're not wanting to dance it doesn't mean to say that you're sitting there miserable. And that's what the dancers seem to think when they see you sitting there watching. That your world will just be so much better if you only got up to dance. 😆It IS a lack of emotional intelligence.

I find an insult helps with the really persistant ones "Oh dont be boring, come and dance with me!"

"Oh is that what you were doing?! I was about to call for medical help!" with a laugh as if I was joking.....

While you were dancing? Or he asked and you responded by standing up, stamping on his foot and head butting him as you said no?

Cos the latter sounds awesome!

There's only one thing worse than wedding dancing and that's ceilidh wedding dancing. Urgh.