Women with twat husbands

Jixg · 2023-12-16T22:49:29+00:00

Just don’t get it! So many mates complain they’re husbands are lazy, they not happy; I mean one had a husband who was doing coke behind their backs and she then took him back! Wtf do they have no respect for themselves? I just couldn’t live or trust somone like that. Am I being unreasonable?

TheSuggestedAmendment · 16/12/2023 22:51

Literally all the husbands I know are awful. Awful.

Dacadactyl · 16/12/2023 22:55

YANBU really and if I found out my husband was taking any sort of drugs whatsoever I'd lose all respect for him. But I wouldn't throw in the towel straight away...I'd try to get him to seek help and see if he could stop.

There is very, very little that I'd not try to overcome first.

vincettenoir · 16/12/2023 22:56

Relationships are complex and people make mistakes. In any relationship with longevity, one or usually both partners have forgiven the other for something of some significance.

The same is true of friendships and family relationships too.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/12/2023 22:56

My female friends have a variety of wankers.

No idea why except the script that women need men. Ironic since men live longer when married so actually they need us.

TheHateIsNotGood · 16/12/2023 23:00

I think generally people like to bitch and moan about their 'lot', whether it be husbands or work, or whatever; it's part of the 'human condition'.

If I actually gave a toss, my concerns would be more for those that think they've got it all covered, because when life changes beyond their control, as it usually does for most, it's much harder for the previously 'smug' to accept.

Which wouldn't apply to the OP, unless it really does.

CutiePatooties · 16/12/2023 23:06

I can’t comment too much from my l standpoint as my husband is also married to a twat.

However, I don’t understand how my sister can forgive her husband who had a private lap dance in a strip club while she was at home looking after their two babies. He didn’t even tell her and had no intention of ever telling her - his dumb brother text him about it and she saw the message!

They post on fb how they’ve been married for 14 years, so in love, etc and I always think what bs. He said nothing happened it was just a dance but again, calling bs. Don’t know how she stayed with him but think his money helps.

Circularargument · 16/12/2023 23:08

TheSuggestedAmendment · 16/12/2023 22:51

Literally all the husbands I know are awful. Awful.

Blimey. Almost all those I know are great...

YouStupidGirl · 16/12/2023 23:11

Sunken cost fallacy
Better the Devil you know
the fear of what divorce will entail especially regarding custody of children/finances.

If I was independently wealthy I doubt I'd still be with my dh, but I don't want to struggle financially 🤷‍♀️

BobLemon · 16/12/2023 23:17

They’re probably not that bad. I don’t know why, but it used to be my very favourite hobby to moan about my boyfriend. But he’s actually excellent. Maybe I was just desperate to talk about him, but couldn’t exactly say “my boyfriend brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning, then made sure the towels were warm for after my shower”. Complaining about his snoring/farting/not doing the bins is much more acceptable over a brew in the office kitchen for some reason 🤷🏼‍♀️

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:18

TheSuggestedAmendment · 16/12/2023 22:51

Literally all the husbands I know are awful. Awful.

All?

thecatsthecats · 16/12/2023 23:26

My MIL is married to a twat. She seems to spend half her time either apologising for him or telling him to shut up.

But then her father is also prone to making annoying comments. A friend of mine has married her dad too - a stingy grumbler.

I also basically married my dad - an excessively kind man.

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:29

My former stepdad is lovely. Women seem to prefer jerks.

Naptrappedmummy · 16/12/2023 23:32

How do you know the women don’t have flaws as well?

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 16/12/2023 23:33

When I look back at when my kids were young, 20 years ago, the men were useless. All my friends had partners who didn't cook, were home late, hardly knew the childcare, didn't help at home, never arranged the holidays or packed a nappy bag to go out. Didn't prep baby food or cook much, or go to the doctors with kids. Didn't put away washing.

However the women mostly did work full time, on top of everything else. We were the mug generation who wanted careers but still did everything else, and it's a surprise we weren't all carted off to mental health institutions.

Yes, we moaned and made the most strident feminist statements, but we still bloody well put up with it.

Don't be like us.

Manage your boundaries!

Original poster

Jixg · 16/12/2023 23:36

Then these husbands will just carry on doing what their doing if you stay with them 🤷

OP posts:

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:42

People are afraid of being homeless. There aren't many homes going - to let, to buy or to rent.

DragonMama3 · 16/12/2023 23:42

Talk is cheap. It's easy to say leave. It's bloody near impossible to do.

PurpleNebula84 · 16/12/2023 23:51

The father of my daughter turned out to be a lazy twat... I left him... He's still a lazy twat... He didn't start off that way in the relationship.. Nothing was too much for him... He just seemed to dwindle as he got his feet further under the table (by which point I was pregnant)... But I left because I couldn't deal with it no more... I give it 2 years before our nearly 7 year old starts to refuse to go to his because of his lack of presence in normal life... She enjoys it for now because they play Minecraft together.
You don't always see it before it's too late.

Dotcheck · 16/12/2023 23:53

YABU for being so incredibly judgemental. People accept what they feel they deserve

Lwrenagain · 16/12/2023 23:54

Do you know the way ex smokers hate smoking?
I think I'm like that now about husbands after having a really shite one. He was a twat.
I am filled with such sadness and often pure rage reading here sometimes. Takes me everything to not offer to go run them over in a stolen tractor or something.
(If you ever see an unhinged chubby little lass driving around taking out shitty husbands behind the wheel of a large piece of stolen farming equipment screaming "fear the deere!" I've finally fucking flipped.)

I wish these women had the money, support, self worth and most importantly guaranteed safety to leave these abysmal shower of arseholes.

Naptrappedmummy · 16/12/2023 23:56

Also I agree with PP about it being not easy to leave. What would your situation be OP if you had to leave your DH tomorrow? Would you be able to buy him out of your house? Buy a new one the size you need for your DC? Or would you have to move to a cheaper area and risk them having to change schools? Would you manage the school run and work every day? Could you afford breakfast/after school clubs or nursery alongside paying all your costs as a single parent?

I think lots of people are in suboptimal relationships but the consequences of being single would be worse so they make an informed decision to stay at least until X time. Mainly because they love their children and think the disruption wouldn’t be worth it.

randomusername2020 · 16/12/2023 23:59

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Moonshine5 · 17/12/2023 00:07

I know a lot of terrible husbands however sadly it's expensive to get divorced and have a lower standard of living. I'm not saying it's right but I understand why they stay.

MsRosley · 17/12/2023 00:08

Lwrenagain · 16/12/2023 23:54

Do you know the way ex smokers hate smoking?
I think I'm like that now about husbands after having a really shite one. He was a twat.
I am filled with such sadness and often pure rage reading here sometimes. Takes me everything to not offer to go run them over in a stolen tractor or something.
(If you ever see an unhinged chubby little lass driving around taking out shitty husbands behind the wheel of a large piece of stolen farming equipment screaming "fear the deere!" I've finally fucking flipped.)

I wish these women had the money, support, self worth and most importantly guaranteed safety to leave these abysmal shower of arseholes.

Fear the deere.... thank you for putting a big grin on my face!

JingsMahBucket · 17/12/2023 00:28

Lwrenagain · 16/12/2023 23:54

Do you know the way ex smokers hate smoking?
I think I'm like that now about husbands after having a really shite one. He was a twat.
I am filled with such sadness and often pure rage reading here sometimes. Takes me everything to not offer to go run them over in a stolen tractor or something.
(If you ever see an unhinged chubby little lass driving around taking out shitty husbands behind the wheel of a large piece of stolen farming equipment screaming "fear the deere!" I've finally fucking flipped.)

I wish these women had the money, support, self worth and most importantly guaranteed safety to leave these abysmal shower of arseholes.

@Lwrenagain I love this. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter and possibly be your new best friend. 😂