Women with twat husbands

[Jixg]

Just don’t get it! So many mates complain they’re husbands are lazy, they not happy; I mean one had a husband who was doing coke behind their backs and she then took him back! Wtf do they have no respect for themselves?
I just couldn’t live or trust somone like that. Am I being unreasonable?

I chose my career because it is interesting and fulfilling. The pay is slightly above average but certainly not enough to support myself and our three children comfortably.

If my husband was unfaithful or a bit useless then I might think it was preferable to stay until our children had left home than to completely turn their worlds upside down and significantly reduce their standard of living.

Well obviously not because they can't control a man's behaviour but can control their own. You call a man a tear, but then stay with him so what does that make you?

I love that my sleep deprived tangent has become a group of vigilante women standing together against shitty husbands.
We should call ourselves the deeres.

It really is so sad seeing women trapped in these fucking dire circumstances. There is a huge push back towards women working currently with the likes of the tate brothers, candace owens and the likes telling us how women were happier to be staying at home as mothers and men are happier to provide.
I'm a stay at home parent on a technicality really, I'm a carer for one of my children and I was a low earner anyway so I bring in more now than I did doing 40 plus hour weeks in honesty. However my DP and I both put in together and I have my own money if I ever need it.
I've seen people have brain injuries or early dementia and become abusive, so even though he's never put a foot into LTB territory, I'll always make sure I've some protection to get away with my kiddos should I need it. But this narrative that is becoming hugely popular with encouraging women to be reliant on her husband scares me. How often do we see things here and you just think, if that lass had saved 50 quid a month for herself over the last few years even, she'd be able to escape.
I think every single person should be taught in schools how to behave appropriately in relationships because not everyone has role models to aspire to. If we were taught from young ages the bare bones of getting a handle on jealousy or accepting boundaries and creating healthy ones, less women would die Each week.

THIS

Sometimes this is the result of poor choices on behalf of the woman.

I have no support network and don't earn enough to support me and DS. I am working on it, though.

I wonder if the stigma of the older single woman with or without children will cease to be in future generations.

What about the twatish wives. I know of husband's with real problem wives:
The wife who has affair after affair.
The wife who told her husband that, whilst he was working abroad, she was saving money so he could have a couple of months off when he got back...she'd spent every penny and racked up credit card debt.
The wife who was so controlling that he couldn't even travel to a work event in another town with his female boss
The wife who will not touch any kind of tool or machines she views as malr, to the extent that when the fuse box tripped he had to leave work to reset. She also refuses to drive anywhere(unless it suits her) won't paint a wall or do any decorating. Won't learn how to wire a plug (he was so pleased that electrical items now come with plugs) won't climb a ladder or even a step stool!

I'm sure you can find some men-centred subreddit to discuss shit wives. I hear there are a few and frankly I wish their angry, impotent members would stay over there.

I see way too many women my age married to men who bully them, and they just manage like it was a role they were assigned at birth.

My DN's friend told me she ended a relationship because he spoke to her with disrespect. I felt so proud of her. At her age I was being urged by my friends to give a second chance to a boyfriend who punched me in the stomach, because he was "probably stressed, bless him". That was about a decade after my Mum responded to me telling her a boy pulled my hair out with "Aww, he likes you!" Those attitudes seem to be dying out, thank God.

Young women now have more options and more freedom, but of course there are also new ways for men to be shit, porn-shit, Andrew Tate-shit, so it will probably always be difficult.

You're being very unreasonable because you're asking a tired old victim blaming question that has been asked and answered by countless women, in multiple ways, over and over again. Your friends would no doubt give you their own personal answers if you asked them, because they will certainly have a reason why staying and putting up with it seems more viable or better than leaving. Which is often a sad indication of how bad things are for women.
A far more helpful question would be why are so many men twats?

Society indoctrinates us to believe we are failures unless we are in a relationship.

So we stay.

The quality of men does seem to be declining. I have my theories as to why, but they wouldn't be popular here.

But that is beside the point. No woman HAS to hook up with and mate with shitty men. They choose to.

If women would stop rewarding crap men with sex, domesticity, 'wife' work and financial contributions, maybe the men who want a wife and children would shape up. But unfortunately, no matter how lowdown the man, there is a woman out there who will choose him, and put up with him, rather than stand on her own two feet or hold out for a better specimen.

All but two of the couples I've known have awful husbands.
I have to keep my mouth shut at work listening to some of the crap women put up with.

I didn't have to put up with it as I was lucky enough to own my house (thanks Bank of M&D) and could split up. If women aren't in such a secure financial position they tend to put up with it. It's grim.

What stigma? Most marriages/relationships fail anyway in the end.

Do most marriages fail?

@User135644

The stigma so many pp have mentioned...you don't think there is one?

I would question how many of these women would be able to afford a house, their children, bills and a reasonable quality of life plus childcare if they left in the current climate?

I think a lot of women fall into relationships because they meet someone before they have really thought about what they want in a partner long term or they go into it thinking the person will grow up or get on board with their priorities once kids come along and sadly there's a lot of Peter pans out there... then before they know it they're stuck in something they're not really happy with but the alternative is scary and they worry about the impact on their kids because they don't want their kids going between separate homes and seeing them half the week.

There's loads of valid reasons why women don't leave idiot husbands. Instead of criticising the women for having no self respect, why aren't we criticising the men for having no respect. Women are not responsible for men's failings.

A UBI would help a lot with people being better off financially and with AI set to take ever more jobs. The time is ripe to bring in UBI that would replace the majority of benefits.

Which would make it easier to leave shitty relationships

And why men in power will never agree to it.

There are many shit men now but I think they were worse 40 years ago and the generation before that. My dad did absolutely fuck all to help with childcare, cooking, washing, cleaning. I see my son with his kid and he does loads as do lots of his mates.

Agree women so undervalue themselves! Argh 🤦🏻‍♀️

And some credit has to be given to the men who are equal parents without having had that example set to them.

All the women who told me having a baby would be impossibly hard have shit husbands. All the ones who said it wasn't like that had good ones.

It is the women’s choice