To be sick to the back teeth of friends being flat broke, then hopping straight on social media to show off their latest 'keeping up with the Joneses' purchase

[balsamshill]

SO many people I know, they'll talk about their financial situation and being wiped out by their mortgage, having nothing left when the bills have gone out, etc.

Yet, when you log onto social media, the AGA craze/renewal among the middle classes (and wannabes) came along - suddenly they have one. Hastily throwing out perfectly good trees to replace them with Balsam Hill trees because they heard last week Balsam Hill is THE tree to have. The pizza oven trend? They all got on it straight away. And they're not afraid to let you know.

The grey house trend? They've had decorators in, DFS 0% APR'd the living room up, and had the house rendered the next month. Grey trend dies out? They've redone the whole house. They get a cockapoo to join the pug they have, still hanging on from the pug craze. Then a dachshund during the craze. Then a frenchie. Etc. They've got to have the professional photos of their children sent as Christmas cards. When showing something off outside their house, they've got to have their his and hers grey and white Mercedes/Audis/BMWs with the private plates in the pictures, and their kid's matching kiddie car.

And you have to know everything they have is the 'real McCoy', not just a copy, because they've made sure you know.

Yet, the group of 10 couples or so I know who do this, they're dead ass fucking broke. All of them. Even for the ones who aren't, they're physically unwell from the stress of holding it all together due to the nature of their income and lifestyle, and one crisis could put them on the breadline. All mortgaged up to the absolute hilt. I'd assumed it must be hard to get a mortgage, but the kind of lending these people have been trusted with is crazy - 2008, anyone?

One of them moaned about their dire situation, yet the next week were doing coke on a night out, then the next month they'd booked a holiday to Dubai on credit because you're nobody unless you went to Dubai this year, right?

It bothers me so much because the kind of boasting these people do on social media is what fuels this need to keep up with the Joneses and I'm bloody sick of it. They're engineering their own downfall by keeping this cycle going.

They joke and consider us tight, but we're the ones with disposable income in our hands at the end of the month. They can't comprehend how we live how we do with much less than they do, but we engineered our lives to be this way. We've had to explain numerous times that the reason we don't have a mortgage, is because the cars are almost older than us, our phones are so old that they're not even supported with updates and security patches anymore.

Creating a lifestyle they can't afford, bringing kids into it, then moaning to friends about how they're pay cheque to pay cheque and pay £1-2k in mortgage costs every month before you even factor in the rest of the bills, car costs, etc, but are on Facebook showing off their newest nouveau riche craze. Boils my piss.

Would you prefer they traded in their dog each time ?

None of any of this is your business btw.

Also, massive stealth brag on your part 🙄

A very working class area where multiple couples you know who aren’t wealthy have Agas? Have you hit your head on something?

I wouldn't say I'm overly invested, just watched a pattern of behaviour form over the last decade through every shifting change, through all of our life changes and growing up and the constant 'I've got no money' 'I'm broke' 'I'm on the bones of my arse' also 'I just bought this £1000 Christmas tree' it's like come on, in all those years of financial history, can you not look at your finances and see where you're going wrong? And I've just got to sit and nod instead of saying what I'm really thinking - which is 'if you can't afford to pay your mortgage, which is what you've been telling me for the past few years, why did you get more dogs, and why post a screenshot of the booking for your holiday on FB'

Its laughable.

At our village school the wealthiest parents drive dirty old cars, live in wellies, have the scruffiest children and we all know they are wealthy! They don’t need to show it. I like that.

Oh and they holiday in Scotland or Cornwall!

There are a lot of people who live like you describe. … I just laugh.
My real friends are not like hat at all.

There has to be a sensible compromise between frittering money you don't have just to look flash and tight-arsing around in a car that's old enough to vote with a phone that's too old to have security. Neither sound great tbh

Yes, working class mining town. Some huge 'luxury' developments were built here about 15-20 years ago so it brought in a lot of aspirational type people who wanted a five or six bed.

But yeah, two couples I know, who complain about money, bought AGAs last year.

I live in such an area. Been there 30 years; gentrified in the last 10. I don't give a bugger what the neighbours do.

Perhaps you need to move out of this apparently poverty stricken area (where everyone has mortgages!) and move somewhere more middle class, as clearly you are much better than your ‘friends’…

Yes Im familiar with the wealthy poor too. I removed myself from most social media because of how false it all is. Im not interested in showboating.

Gosh! A white 4x4??? Uggs and Lapland? Clearly a working class area! The Agas are a bit surprising but I’m all for a new BMW or Porsche. Who is proud of an old banger unless it’s a rare vintage car?

This is fascinating, I don't know people like this in my area of north London but I can sort of imagine the types of people. Where do you live?

There you go OP, it took 3 pages but you finally got what you were seeking :)

Yes, the Cornwall craze!

Apparently the locals absolutely hate the influx. Have a furiously Cornish friend who is beside himself with unbelievable rage over the 'emmets' and their huge cars that weren't made for Cornish streets. Funnily enough, he wasn't born there and gets jip for it all the time.

WTAF? 😆 Who ARE these people? I don't know a single person like this. I don't know anyone who has a pizza oven for a start. 😂 Cockapoo and a pug and balsam hill trees? WTF is this parallel universe?!

And why do they have private plates?..

If you dislike your friends’ lifestyle choices that much, stop being their friends.

Up north. Which explains it all. It's literally just poor people competing against poor people to buy what they think makes them look 'rich' and better than everyone else.

The people who own everything in this town come from families who've been here forever. Farmer/country types. And surprisingly, do not act the way I described in my OP.

It's almost like it's fiction!!

I tend to sound and act broke, but my spending is extreme as I go on cruises and Disney holiday many times a year. I can hear myself checking the pennies etc. Im not broke spending £5k a month on my holidays. It makes me happy.

But really ? You ? Why do you care so much about these people? You have chosen a frugal lifestyle. Its one I would hate myself and they probably get irritated by your spending habits !

Relax and chill 🤣

The kids memed them. Apparently they're referred to as 'Deanos'. Had to Google 'Deano meme' for it to make any sense.

They all sound awful and very tedious and boring with their aspirational spending. Don't they have their own tastes, ideas or opinions about things?

In my experience those who actually have money don't feel the need to talk about it all the time.

So, a working class area where everyone has mortgages, his and her bmws, agas and Balsam Hill Christmas trees?

Whilst I don't post on social media, or particularly keep up with anyone, I frequently whinge about the price of everything, constantly sympathising with people that we too, are broke.

Because we do have high expenses, a large house, multiple DC. We don't have new cars on the drive. Because we buy ours outright. We could get two flash ones on finance, but the accountant in me shudders at that. We do have 5 cars though, which could be sold for two much nicer ones I suppose.

To me, I'm broke. I'd say, to friends, "we never seem to have money left over". But then I don't count our house, our vehicles, and everything else we could sell, nor our money that's in premium bonds, as actual money. I literally just think of our current account. Which never looks that tremendous. We don't have any credit cards or finance. I'd still say we were broke, almost as a turn of phrase. Bit like how I'd say "I'm starving" ...I don't literally mean I'm in the midst of the starvation process, and my friends would know that. Likewise with the "I'm broke."