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Original poster

Everyone got a secret santa apart from me

211 replies

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 18:30

So we did a secret santa at work between 10 of us and everybody got their presents yesterday except me.
I've let the organiser know and a message has been put on the group so everyone can see stating that one person is missing their present and for whoever hasn't brought it to bring it in Monday. I am not happy! The person who got me has clearly taken their present with no after thought to the person who they were supposed to buy for and no mention to the organiser that they'd forgotten it etc.
What would you do if the present doesn't appear Monday? I've got a good mind to start the spanish inquisition.

OP posts:
Sunshineboo · 17/12/2023 11:26

is it bad that i would LOVE to get myself! would treat myself to
something lovely and then gush at my amazing santa who knows me too well!

Brird · 17/12/2023 12:05

I wouldn't like it either OP, hopefully the organiser can chase it up.

I worked in an ad agency once that did 'woo week' - quite a lot of agencies used to do it, not sure about any more, this was in the 90s. It was a week in which you anonymously sent someone chocolates and little gifts, decorated their desk, or did really creative things.

It was fun, but both times I did it I received barely anything while everyone around me was being spoiled. I took that a lot more personally than being missed out on secret Santa. We had a fancy dress party not longer after during which I wore a long blonde wig and lots of make up - I'd had a few drinks and asked my woo-ee why he didn't send me much and he said 'if you had looked like this, I would have done'.

RafaFan · 17/12/2023 15:37

What a weird workplace event! I wonder how the managers ever thought it was a good idea -I can't see how it would NOT cause lots of issues and bad feeling.

Ilovecleaning · 17/12/2023 17:47

I used to teach in high school and I did secret Santa with my form but I did it my way. Everyone had to bring in a wrapped gift and hand to me. In case some kids didn’t contribute, I secretly bought a few spare gifts, wrapped them in different gift wrap paper and put them in them with the donations. I made sure the number of gifts matched the number of kids in the class.
On the last day, we had a lucky dip so every kid got a gift. Sorted.

Maybe offices should do something similar?

UnfriendMe · 17/12/2023 17:47

Do you really care that much about some shitty 10 pound gag gift that will end up in the dump in a few weeks?

Whathappenedtomyvag · 17/12/2023 17:48

This happened to me after I set a system similar to secret santa up for birthdays. Everyone loved it. No more collections every month and you just drew the name out of a hat for who you had that year. It worked brilliantly all year until my birthday came around. The person who forgot, admitted they forgot, didn't apologise and still didn't even muster up a card. Wanker.

picklethecumber · 17/12/2023 17:52

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 18:39

I just felt really awkward standing there when everyone got theirs that's all.

Flip that's worse!! So the CF saw that you got no present and didn't own up? I'd be a bit ragin that someone was cheeky enough to accept a gift and yet not provide one! I hope you get sorted

wasdarknowblond · 17/12/2023 18:11

Be grateful you didn’t get the usual rubbish (which you would have probably taken to the charity shop anyway)!

WillimNot · 17/12/2023 18:37

About ten years ago it happened to me.

I'm not hard to buy for and have a cheap hobby my Santa could've picked from. I spent ages if thought picking my person something and wrapping it all up beautifully too.

Then everyone gathered and I was the only one out of about 20 people to not have something. I was so upset.

I found who it was and she had no shame at all. Said she hadn't been "convinced" to take part yet was quite happy to receive a gift from someone else.

I just felt like she didn't like me so wanted to be sly.

In the end, I received gifts from most of the others, they all felt bad so made an extra special effort for me. After that the sly one was shunned and left the group soon afterwards. Turned out she'd been more horrid than we thought and any little error we made she went straight to our boss to cause shit.

It's not nice is it OP? Let the group hive mind do it's magic, the ignorant lazy one will be found out.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 17/12/2023 18:42

I can see why you feel a bit irked but would probably wait and see if the gift appears on Monday, maybe the giver just genuinely forgot to pick up the gift bag from the kitchen table on their way to work on Friday. Obviously they should have said something and apologised but maybe they felt too embarrassed.

whyayepetal · 17/12/2023 18:46

Ahh - this happened to my DD2at school. Unfortunately teacher didn’t have a couple of “just in case” presents for this eventuality! Think it was in Y10, so not too big a drama, and I remember DD2 telling me that the person she had got a present for had been delighted with her gift. For DD2 that was the more important thing - wanting to fit in and get the gift “right” was very important to her at the time. Still, it did sting a bit at the time.

fetchacloth · 17/12/2023 18:48

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 19:13

Thank you.

Show quote history

I've had this situation before too and although trivial, it is embarrassing.
I declined to join in the following year in case it happened again

Georgiah82 · 17/12/2023 18:48

I wouldn't think they were a pain the arse. I'd think what an arsehole the person who was supposed to buy the gift was, especially as they had a whole weekend to make up for it. It's not like your allowed to forget. It gets discussed!

Soonenough · 17/12/2023 19:00

I was very annoyed when my son , in his first job asked for my help so he would get it right . We picked a nice thoughtful gift , if I remember. The recipient was delighted . I was gutted for him when he got in return a jokey thing , basically mocking his junior position. He was so sad. That January , I encouraged him to apply for a new job in a firm that showed him what a decent company could be like.
I think my STBX would have been a shit SS . He would have left it till the last minute and bought some crap chocolates, despite me offering to get something OKish for him to bring.

Would always opt out if I could.

KarenandFour · 17/12/2023 19:10

I’d be pissed off! And it’s only a matter of elimination. Ask who got who’s!

MargotBamborough · 17/12/2023 19:30

In my first job we had an office wide secret santa and one of the secretaries was very upset because she got given a cheap vibrator. I later learned that she'd received exactly the same thing the year before, and that the same person had drawn her name both times.

agonyau · 17/12/2023 20:57

Hopefully there’s a nice gift coming your way Monday with an apology/explanation for the delay, so don’t sweat it yet.

Secret Santas can be contentious. Ive organised secret Santas a few times in past, but must admit 4 out of 5 times felt disappointed with the apparent lack of effort put into the gifts given to me, but put a brave face on it. After the last time, when we agreed a budget of £10 or slightly over if necessary & I recieved a boring bottle of wine costing no more that £5 (yeah I googled it!) which wasn’t even wrapped up that well so i didn’t have pleasure of unwrapping/guessing consents, I decided to give all future Secret Santa’s a miss, coz I can’t stand thoughtlessness or stinginess or, worse still, not knowing who was the giver. Bah humbug!! 😂🤣😂

beanontoast · 17/12/2023 21:00

Sorry OP. That is really rotten. It’s not about missing out on the £10 gift, it’s the being left out in front of everyone else. Whoever did this didnt have to sign up if they didn’t want to pay and it’s really unfair to take their gift without giving one back. I’d not be happy either.

cardibach · 17/12/2023 21:00

Alexavolumedown · 16/12/2023 18:38

How is it grabby to go looking for it but not grabby to take a gift but not give one?

nobidy said it wasn’t grabby to take but not give, did they? Two separate issues.

Alexavolumedown · 17/12/2023 21:19

@cardibach i was responding to the PP that said the OP would look grabby by going to look for the gift. Point being that it’s hardly grabby compared to what the non-gift giver did.

cardibach · 17/12/2023 21:20

Alexavolumedown · 17/12/2023 21:19

@cardibach i was responding to the PP that said the OP would look grabby by going to look for the gift. Point being that it’s hardly grabby compared to what the non-gift giver did.

I know what you were responding to. But the PP didn’t say the defaulter wasn’t grabby.

Alexavolumedown · 17/12/2023 21:22

@cardibach what a weird thing to jump on. It’s obvious what the point was.

cardibach · 17/12/2023 21:27

Alexavolumedown · 17/12/2023 21:22

@cardibach what a weird thing to jump on. It’s obvious what the point was.

I’m not jumping on anything. And actually no, it wasn’t. It looked like you believed that others were saying that asking for it would be worse than not buying in the first place. Literally nobody was. Anyway, miscommunication clearly. Have a good evening.

jasminocereusbritannicus · 17/12/2023 21:45

That happened to me once!

it was a bit embarrassing, but there was an effort to try and remedy the situation…

Lavenderandbrown · 18/12/2023 00:43

I didn’t receive a SS gift in scouts when I was 8. So embarrassed and sad to be forgotten. I just participated in a gift exchange…a “makeup bauble” was specified on the invitation. There was a milk frother, candles ornaments… clearly not makeup and it all reminded me of exactly why I never participate in secret Santa. I despise SS and pretty much gift exchanges too because someone always donates crap. I do think co workers are quite taken aback when I decline to participate but I’m quite comfortable saying nope