Page 3 | Everyone got a secret santa apart from me

tachetastic · 16/12/2023 19:27

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 18:30

So we did a secret santa at work between 10 of us and everybody got their presents yesterday except me.
I've let the organiser know and a message has been put on the group so everyone can see stating that one person is missing their present and for whoever hasn't brought it to bring it in Monday. I am not happy! The person who got me has clearly taken their present with no after thought to the person who they were supposed to buy for and no mention to the organiser that they'd forgotten it etc.
What would you do if the present doesn't appear Monday? I've got a good mind to start the spanish inquisition.

To be honest, the last time I was involved in a secret Santa at work, the gift I got was so rubbish and so clearly inappropriate for me that I would honestly rather have got nothing. That way, I could have shrugged and said "oh well, better drown my sorrows in another glass of wine" rather than having to repeatedly act appreciative and coo over something that genuinely might have come out of a Christmas cracker.

And in a way, that gift always impacted how I viewed the person who bought it (who was one of my managers, secret Santa never stays secret). It would have been better all round if I'd got nothing.

onestepfromgrace · 16/12/2023 19:29

@PastelHouses are you OP’s Secret Santa?

kimf1963 · 16/12/2023 19:39

That’s not nice, you have every right to feel affronted. This has happened several times where I work and our organiser chases the offenders and doesn’t stop until they bring the present in. They usually feel so guilty they buy something better than they normally would. How dare they take a gift knowing full well they haven’t bought one. Shitty behaviour

AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 16/12/2023 19:42

AintNothinButARoundFrog · 16/12/2023 18:57

It shouldn't matter how many names are in the hat. Every name goes in and everyone pulls one out

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Oh you are absolutely right! I actually never thought about it! That was the explanation given at the time......wonder if anyone else clocked that or if we were all just having brain farts! I don't recall if the person ever actually got their gift either.

AintNothinButARoundFrog · 16/12/2023 19:43

AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 16/12/2023 19:42

Oh you are absolutely right! I actually never thought about it! That was the explanation given at the time......wonder if anyone else clocked that or if we were all just having brain farts! I don't recall if the person ever actually got their gift either.

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Sounds like planned bullying

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/12/2023 19:46

This is why I only take part in one secret santa that is properly organised.

It is voluntary, so no ones forced to take part and there is no bad feeling if anyones not playing one year.

The organiser CAN absolutely access who got who (we use Elfster) and wiggle things if necessary and everyone knows that, we can also state certain preferences, so last year I said I didn't want a recipient who was overseas (this is a fb group SS so we're scattered around a bit) as I wasn't able to guarantee id afford postage/get organised in time to post... not a problem.

SS's in places where its pretty much obligatory, where its badly organised and organisers are relying on honesty amongst people forced to take part, are bound to fail and leave bad feeling in various directions.

nmchg · 16/12/2023 19:47

I hope it gets sorted soon for you. There's a lot of folk telling you to calm down etc, but I can tell you a tale of a colleague who got way more worked up if that helps?
Many moons ago I worked in a shop. We did secret Santa and the names were drawn in early-November with present handover on December 22nd. The person I drew caused a massive drama with a customer about a week after names were drawn, drama itself unrelated to SS but meant she ended up being sacked for gross misconduct. So she was no longer in the company by mid-November. We re-did the draw and that was that.
Until March the following year when I started getting Facebook messages and calls demanding to know where her secret Santa gift was and why wouldn't I hand it over? No idea how she knew I'd had her but she was relentless! I hadn't got her anything cos she left over a month before Christmas and we re-drew. Eventually she blocked me on social media and told everyone she could find that I'd refused to give her the gift she was due.
So as long as you don't go to those lengths to get your gift I'm sure it'll be fine! Hopefully just been a mistake on a colleague's part!

Floralnomad · 16/12/2023 19:50

This always happens . I really cannot understand why people get involved in these things . The presents are usually crap anyway.

evtheria · 16/12/2023 19:51

I've had this happen, we handed in our secret santa gifts at the table (restaurant meal out) and luckily it was quite noisy and hectic so I didn't say anything. I do think (and hope) the person (I figured out who it was) just forgot to do it, I wasn't too bothered though I felt uncomfortable in case someone asked me aloud in front of everyone what I'd got.
My manager clocked on soon enough and was fuming at the person, but I don't know if he spoke to them later.

I wouldn't say anything at work, though if it happened to someone else I would! Lol.

Greenpolkadot · 16/12/2023 19:51

I feel sorry for you.OP.
It must have made you feel really embarrassed and shitty.
If it were me I wouldn't bother next year

rainbowbee · 16/12/2023 19:52

That happened in my office last week. It transpired that there was a genuine oversight with someone being on leave. However we have a lady who is like a random gift hoarder and she was able to pull a bottle of wine and some fancy hand creams out of her desk and put them in a nice bag so the left out person didn't know. A generic spare gift is actually really handy at this time of year.

Original poster

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 19:55

nmchg · 16/12/2023 19:47

I hope it gets sorted soon for you. There's a lot of folk telling you to calm down etc, but I can tell you a tale of a colleague who got way more worked up if that helps?
Many moons ago I worked in a shop. We did secret Santa and the names were drawn in early-November with present handover on December 22nd. The person I drew caused a massive drama with a customer about a week after names were drawn, drama itself unrelated to SS but meant she ended up being sacked for gross misconduct. So she was no longer in the company by mid-November. We re-did the draw and that was that.
Until March the following year when I started getting Facebook messages and calls demanding to know where her secret Santa gift was and why wouldn't I hand it over? No idea how she knew I'd had her but she was relentless! I hadn't got her anything cos she left over a month before Christmas and we re-drew. Eventually she blocked me on social media and told everyone she could find that I'd refused to give her the gift she was due.
So as long as you don't go to those lengths to get your gift I'm sure it'll be fine! Hopefully just been a mistake on a colleague's part!

I definitely won't be going to that extreme lol! 😂

OP posts:

Cas112 · 16/12/2023 19:55

I probably would be as bothered as you Op.. not sure the present is going to change your life in any way 😂

daisychain01 · 16/12/2023 19:56

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 18:50

I got a couple of sad faces

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Sounds horrible. I would have gone out and bought you a little something and put on the WhatsApp - oops @nic1079 Looks like Santa dropped it in my bag for you, will bring it in Monday.

Sounds like a cockup but easily retrieved if someone would just take the initiative and not leave you feeling like crap.

AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 16/12/2023 19:56

AintNothinButARoundFrog · 16/12/2023 19:43

Sounds like planned bullying

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By the organiser? Surely not! That would be a sad state of affairs amongst a grown adults.....amongst any ahe tbf.

RafaFan · 16/12/2023 19:57

Years ago I was on a work night out. It was agreed beforehand that the cost of the meal would be split equally between the 20 people attending. Everyone bought their own drinks. When the bill arrived the calculation was done and everyone had to put £18.55 (or whatever it was) in the pot. Much fumbling around and sorting change etc, but everybody supposedly chucked their cash in. Except somebody didn't...when it was counted up it was exactly £18.55 short so we all had to cough up a bit extra. Some CF got a free meal that night. There is always one!

Disco50 · 16/12/2023 20:00

I did a Secret Santa in a job where I've had to be assertive a few times about shit working conditions.

I received a book titled 'The A-Z of How To Be Happy'

JancisBeguildy · 16/12/2023 20:04

toomuchtosay · 16/12/2023 18:56

We had a SS at my last workplace and there was a particular employee nobody liked and the person who got them just didn't buy them anything because they didn't like them and nobody wanted to swap.

Wow. That’s awful.

tescocreditcard · 16/12/2023 20:07

I know what you mean OP - it's the fucking cheek and greed of someone who quite happily took a gift but didn't bother with one for you

Honestly, just don't participate in them. You get gifts from family presumably? I'd leave it at that.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 16/12/2023 20:07

We did SS yesterday and I didn’t get anything, but the big difference is the person told the organiser and it will turn up. Something to do with the wrong type of leaves on the sleigh.

RatatouillePie · 16/12/2023 20:09

I hate secret Santa.

Last year I bought a really nice gift for my person as they were a really genuinely lovely person. It was a book. My boss then started slagging it off saying who the hell reads that philosophical crap!

My present was quite big. Inside it was... 2 share packets of crisps. Wtf?!? I think I would rather have had no present! My one of ly colleagues later commented that someone really didn't like me!

2chocolateoranges · 16/12/2023 20:11

I’d be upset too , however our works secret Santa isn’t distributed until all gifts are in. Our work secret Santa is done through an app and the organiser had a list of who was gifting to who.

mine wasn’t cheap tat, the girl who bought for me put a lot of thought into mine and it was perfect. I put a lot of bought into mine too, I love buying gifts for others.

ours is also voluntary, no pressure to join in!

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/12/2023 20:11

nmchg · 16/12/2023 19:47

I hope it gets sorted soon for you. There's a lot of folk telling you to calm down etc, but I can tell you a tale of a colleague who got way more worked up if that helps?
Many moons ago I worked in a shop. We did secret Santa and the names were drawn in early-November with present handover on December 22nd. The person I drew caused a massive drama with a customer about a week after names were drawn, drama itself unrelated to SS but meant she ended up being sacked for gross misconduct. So she was no longer in the company by mid-November. We re-did the draw and that was that.
Until March the following year when I started getting Facebook messages and calls demanding to know where her secret Santa gift was and why wouldn't I hand it over? No idea how she knew I'd had her but she was relentless! I hadn't got her anything cos she left over a month before Christmas and we re-drew. Eventually she blocked me on social media and told everyone she could find that I'd refused to give her the gift she was due.
So as long as you don't go to those lengths to get your gift I'm sure it'll be fine! Hopefully just been a mistake on a colleague's part!

Did she still contribute her SS present to the person she'd drawn?

Lilacanemone · 16/12/2023 20:13

That’s crap. Petty or not, I think if it doesn’t turn up on Monday, the organiser should ask each person who they bought for.

dogvcat · 16/12/2023 20:13

toomuchtosay · 16/12/2023 18:56

We had a SS at my last workplace and there was a particular employee nobody liked and the person who got them just didn't buy them anything because they didn't like them and nobody wanted to swap.

That’s absolutely awful and really not in the spirit of things. If you won’t commit to buying for whoever you get, you shouldn’t take part. I hope that they were outed, as it was obviously known who the CF was. Why didn’t they just get a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine, if they didn’t want to get something personal?