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Original poster

Everyone got a secret santa apart from me

211 replies

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 18:30

So we did a secret santa at work between 10 of us and everybody got their presents yesterday except me.
I've let the organiser know and a message has been put on the group so everyone can see stating that one person is missing their present and for whoever hasn't brought it to bring it in Monday. I am not happy! The person who got me has clearly taken their present with no after thought to the person who they were supposed to buy for and no mention to the organiser that they'd forgotten it etc.
What would you do if the present doesn't appear Monday? I've got a good mind to start the spanish inquisition.

OP posts:
toomuchtosay · 16/12/2023 18:56

We had a SS at my last workplace and there was a particular employee nobody liked and the person who got them just didn't buy them anything because they didn't like them and nobody wanted to swap.

TeaKitten · 16/12/2023 18:56

I’d say doing over react to it, just chat about how it’s odd you didn’t get one to people at work and whoever it was will probably get outed fairly quickly. Organiser should feel bad for going a crap job though really. First rule of work secret Santa - organiser keeps a list of who got who.

AintNothinButARoundFrog · 16/12/2023 18:56

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

I wouldn't say she's being passive aggressive. I'd say she's being fair and honest with what she said

burnoutbabe · 16/12/2023 18:57

In any normal company the person who realised they forgot would mend sure it was rectified asap (by telling the organiser)

Anything else could be considered bullying.

I suggest the organiser sends out an email asap asking for the person who got you to let the organiser know asap. If they don't respond then (and most would just turn up with the missing gift) then it's someone being very untrustworthy in the workplace.

AintNothinButARoundFrog · 16/12/2023 18:57

AnotherDayAnotherDoller · 16/12/2023 18:55

Oh OP that is rubbish! It's an awkward situation too - this happened at my workplace one year and it turned out there had been an uneven number of names and the organiser hadn't realised!!! Oops!
Hopefully santa comes on Monday and there's been a genuine mix up somewhere. I'd like to think people wouldn't intentionally enter a secret santa then not bother with their end of the bargain.

It shouldn't matter how many names are in the hat. Every name goes in and everyone pulls one out

greengreengrass25 · 16/12/2023 18:58

I think it's horrible for you and I don't blame you for being upset

Everyone else has taken a gift so someone is being thoughtless

Haruka · 16/12/2023 18:59

Nothing grabby about being upset. Some people on here, honestly.

The unwritten rule of Secret Santa is that everyone gets a gift.

If someone breaks that rule by not bringing in their gift, then that is shitty. If you're going to be absent on the day, you don't take part (or bring in your gift beforehand).

That some people are not following the rule (and a few offensive gifts over the years) is the reason why most people I know who organise Secret Santa now keep a list of who is giving to whom. My current boss hasn't, so it will be interesting when ours happens next week.

Charlize43 · 16/12/2023 19:02

I think it's good that you called them out as it will prevent any other attempts at sidelining you.

It's not really a team if one person is left out.

Sugarsun · 16/12/2023 19:02

We had someone who never brought in the present.

It was very awkward for the first couple of years and then we found out that this one colleague was the culprit.

The next year several reminders were sent out and the due date was a week before the swapping and he still ‘forgot’.

The next year we fixed it and so he’d get the boss (her decision) as she earned the most and said she wasn’t worried about not getting one.

He still ‘forgot’.

Some people are just selfish and it’s not just about the present, it’s about how someone is happy to take but not care enough to give.

ActDottie · 16/12/2023 19:04

I’d see if it arrives Monday but it’s a bit much to assume that they’ve taken their present without intending to return the favour.

Original poster
nic1079 · 16/12/2023 19:05

Even the organiser didn't know who got who it was some random app that picked it for you.
Thank you to the people who understand where I'm coming from, it was just the awkwardness of it, me standing there like a lemon 🍋 whilst everyone else got theirs. I'm the most passive person going just disappointed that's all.

OP posts:
swingtowin · 16/12/2023 19:05

Same happened to me one year, but we work remotely. I did tell the organiser it hadn't turned up as I felt bad I couldn't say thank you on the teams channel and the person offered to re-post but I wasn't bothered but this was after a year o hit a really crap present so I haven't done it since - I have no desire to receive a candle and is just another thing to think about....

burnoutbabe · 16/12/2023 19:07

nic1079 · 16/12/2023 19:05

Even the organiser didn't know who got who it was some random app that picked it for you.
Thank you to the people who understand where I'm coming from, it was just the awkwardness of it, me standing there like a lemon 🍋 whilst everyone else got theirs. I'm the most passive person going just disappointed that's all.

The organiser can ask everyone who they bought for though and track down what happened.

Iloveacurry · 16/12/2023 19:08

Well I’d definitely not do secret Santa next year if I was you!

LauraPandaBear · 16/12/2023 19:12

Hi. Had only one secret santander and that left me disappointed..
I was last to pull out name out of the hat and it was my name too. So no chance of even drawing again.
Thankfully my supervisor did it with me.
Got a nice mug and nice chocolates.
Wasn't that secret but still felt a bit better.

I think it's understandable to be part of the joy. Think that's the purpose of secret santa- being able to see the joy

LittleMissSleepyUK · 16/12/2023 19:12

I’ve had this before and I was gutted. I know its all just a bit of fun but when you’ve gone to the trouble of getting something it’s almost embarrassing when there’s nothing for you back.

Original poster
nic1079 · 16/12/2023 19:13

I've got no plans to! 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
nic1079 · 16/12/2023 19:13

LittleMissSleepyUK · 16/12/2023 19:12

I’ve had this before and I was gutted. I know its all just a bit of fun but when you’ve gone to the trouble of getting something it’s almost embarrassing when there’s nothing for you back.

Thank you.

OP posts:
grass67 · 16/12/2023 19:13

This happened at work one year, and to the nicest lady ever. It was awful.

A very quick who bought what conversation and the culprit was found.

Totally understandable to be upset OP, I'm sure you feel unliked, but really it all on the person who didn't give. no reflection on you.

Motherhubbardscupboard · 16/12/2023 19:14

Even if you used an app (Elfster?), the organiser can still check who was paired with who. I know this because we had the same situation and soon found out who it was, but they denied signing up. A manager ended up buying an extra gift which the person who had been left out received a few days late.

Sirian · 16/12/2023 19:15

The organiser needs to find out who bought for who and identify the culprit. Then ask them to return their secret Santa gift because clearly it’s wrong for them to take it when they didn’t contribute. That gift then gets passed on to you.

ANightingale · 16/12/2023 19:18

When it happened in the team I was managing, I nipped out and bought a bottle of wine and shoved it in a gift bag to avoid this scenario.

TeaKitten · 16/12/2023 19:20

LauraPandaBear · 16/12/2023 19:12

Hi. Had only one secret santander and that left me disappointed..
I was last to pull out name out of the hat and it was my name too. So no chance of even drawing again.
Thankfully my supervisor did it with me.
Got a nice mug and nice chocolates.
Wasn't that secret but still felt a bit better.

I think it's understandable to be part of the joy. Think that's the purpose of secret santa- being able to see the joy

Doesn’t that mean someone else also pulled their own name out and kept it?

CranfordScones · 16/12/2023 19:23

1 - be grateful for not having to accept some tat that you wouldn't want.
2 - store it away and use it to justify your not taking part in SS in future years.

moomoomoo27 · 16/12/2023 19:23

In future, the organiser needs to collect all presents in advance so they know if any are missing and can resolve ahead of the swap. Whoever doesn't turn up with a present can be told to go and buy one in their lunch break.

If it's mandatory secret santa though, sometimes people resent being told they have to take part or aren't in a position to spend money. Which is why the German version can work better, or simply just having people bring food for everyone to share instead.