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Original poster

How to get people to leave on Xmas day

200 replies

Elfie23 · 14/12/2023 20:42

As above really.

Last year I hosted 9 of us family and explicitly asked / banned my mum from drinking too much as she's a pain in the arse when she's had a few drinks, annoying everyone, talking about stuff no one wants to talk about (usually BIL dead parents or morbid stuff, or telling us how we don't 'talk' enough as a family which could never be her fault for not having those kinds of conversations with us as kids). The ban was mainly for my DC sake as they don't need to see that. I don't have a big place at all and it was utter carnage. Just not enough space for everyone to move etc. Vowed never again.

Well - DB and his other half and child are away at Xmas and DC is at their dads so leaves 5 adults. (I was going to Dsis originally and DB to our parents then meet in the evening for a bit before they announced their plans)

It's somehow ended up at mine again.
Now - I like a drink but my mum does my head in after a while and my sister has a gob the size of Mersey Tunnel after a few.

Last year I eventually said about 8pm I've had enough and literally could have cried, found the day so stressful as couldn't move, constantly needing to wash up or move something / find something etc. Basically hated Christmas last year.
I'm not a very good host.

Ideally I'd like to have dinner, maybe a few drinks and for everyone to sod off by about 7 so I can watch the soaps in peace - how do I manage this?

OP posts:
Iwishiwasasilentnight · 14/12/2023 20:44

Tell them now. Send a message to everyone to say hosting is very tiring so you’re letting them they need to book taxi for 7 as you will be putting your PJs on.

Shadow1986 · 14/12/2023 20:49

Agree, you should them know what time you want them to leave now so they know in advance and it avoids any awkwardness on the day. Maybe just make out you’re giving them plenty of notice so that they can get cabs booked if needed. Along the lines of ‘looking forward to Xmas! Just letting you know I was planning on hosting between 12-7pm as after that I’ll need some time to put my feet up, just letting you know incase you want to prebook cabs as I know they get busy!’

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 14/12/2023 20:51

Turn the heating off!!

Mrsjayy · 14/12/2023 20:53

just say .they are very welcome but you are planning to have a night to your self so would appreciate a 7pm cut off time so they all know. Next year say early November that you are looking for somewhere to go for dinner and don't have it at your house.

geoger · 14/12/2023 20:55

Go out volunteering at a local soup kitchen/food bank or say you’re going to church. That way they’ll have to leave by 6pm

Cheeseplantalltheway · 14/12/2023 20:55

This was accidental, but one year DH and I just fell asleep while everyone was still there.

They realised it was time to leave.

Mrsjayy · 14/12/2023 20:57

geoger · 14/12/2023 20:55

Go out volunteering at a local soup kitchen/food bank or say you’re going to church. That way they’ll have to leave by 6pm

op doesn't want to go out she wants to drink wine eat sweets and watch Corrie 😄

EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 20:59

Tell them straight.

SecondUsername4me · 14/12/2023 20:59

I'd just say "sorry, I can't host"

Pack off the kids to m their dad's, crack open the prosecco and cheeseboard for e days straight and watch all the comedy movies you can find. Don't answer the door or the phone and tell them all you'll see them at their house after Christmas.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 14/12/2023 21:00

Don’t invite them in the first place.

CateringPanic · 14/12/2023 21:01

I think that’s very early to expect people to leave on Christmas Day. That’s the time when the pate and cheese usually comes out!

Growing up people never left my parents until at least 9:30/10pm and that was usually just because one of the grandparents needed to be driven home.

We hosted last Xmas and BIL and gf left about 10:30/11. MIL AND FIL didn’t leave until 1am Boxing Day morning.

I’m not saying you need to have them there until midnight but it’s a bit rubbish to kick them out at 7pm to go home and twiddle their thumbs

Haveyouseenthemuffinman · 14/12/2023 21:03

I’d contract COVID, personally. What a shame.

geoger · 14/12/2023 21:03

Ah ok maybe op can pretend to be doing one of those things: put her coat on and tell them she’s got to lock up and go out

Mrsjayy · 14/12/2023 21:03

my stepdad used to get his pyjamas on that was out cue to leave it was usually about 7.30😂

gamerchick · 14/12/2023 21:04

CateringPanic · 14/12/2023 21:01

I think that’s very early to expect people to leave on Christmas Day. That’s the time when the pate and cheese usually comes out!

Growing up people never left my parents until at least 9:30/10pm and that was usually just because one of the grandparents needed to be driven home.

We hosted last Xmas and BIL and gf left about 10:30/11. MIL AND FIL didn’t leave until 1am Boxing Day morning.

I’m not saying you need to have them there until midnight but it’s a bit rubbish to kick them out at 7pm to go home and twiddle their thumbs

You host them then Hmm

I wouldn't be hosting at all. Why don't you have the Christmas you want, please yourself all day.

Or say they have to leave at 5. If 7 is the optimum time for kick out.

TimeForTeaAndG · 14/12/2023 21:06

How did you end up hosting, why didn't you say no?

CateringPanic · 14/12/2023 21:07

@gamerchick I did host my own family last year as I described. And when I host I do if graciously without kicking people out into the cold early evening on Christmas night. If you host you need to do it properly or not at all

DitheringBlidiot · 14/12/2023 21:07

Yeah just tell them. "I want you all gone by 7 so I can wash up, have a glass of wine in silence and watch call the midwife"

WannabeMathematician · 14/12/2023 21:09

@CateringPanic So the options are 12 hours or nothing? Seems draconian.

Mrsjayy · 14/12/2023 21:10

CateringPanic · 14/12/2023 21:07

@gamerchick I did host my own family last year as I described. And when I host I do if graciously without kicking people out into the cold early evening on Christmas night. If you host you need to do it properly or not at all

they are going to their own houses not waking to the artic. hosting isn't about letting people stay till 1 am because you are to polite to go to bed or worse be seen as a "bad host".

CateringPanic · 14/12/2023 21:11

@WannabeMathematician no, but the OP could consider what time they arrive instead of what time they leave if she wants some peace on the day. It just seems really mean spirited to kick people out at prime nibbles and games time!

Alarum · 14/12/2023 21:11

You tell them they have to be out for 7pm. Do it now, not on the day.

BusMumsHoliday · 14/12/2023 21:12

My late, much-missed MIL's method was to loudly announce, "Oh, DH, we've kept these lovely people here too long, we must let them go home." Might not work with your drunk mum.

I'd just go upstairs at 7pm with a laptop and a box of chocolates. Leave them to it.

CateringPanic · 14/12/2023 21:12

@Mrsjayy if you facilitate a nice time for your guests then you aren’t “letting them stay”, everyone is just having a nice time