How to get people to leave on Xmas day

[Elfie23]

As above really.

Last year I hosted 9 of us family and explicitly asked / banned my mum from drinking too much as she's a pain in the arse when she's had a few drinks, annoying everyone, talking about stuff no one wants to talk about (usually BIL dead parents or morbid stuff, or telling us how we don't 'talk' enough as a family which could never be her fault for not having those kinds of conversations with us as kids). The ban was mainly for my DC sake as they don't need to see that. I don't have a big place at all and it was utter carnage. Just not enough space for everyone to move etc. Vowed never again.

Well - DB and his other half and child are away at Xmas and DC is at their dads so leaves 5 adults. (I was going to Dsis originally and DB to our parents then meet in the evening for a bit before they announced their plans)

It's somehow ended up at mine again.
Now - I like a drink but my mum does my head in after a while and my sister has a gob the size of Mersey Tunnel after a few.

Last year I eventually said about 8pm I've had enough and literally could have cried, found the day so stressful as couldn't move, constantly needing to wash up or move something / find something etc. Basically hated Christmas last year.
I'm not a very good host.

Ideally I'd like to have dinner, maybe a few drinks and for everyone to sod off by about 7 so I can watch the soaps in peace - how do I manage this?

Tell them now dinner will be ready for
xx.xx pm & I’d like you all to fuck off home at 18.30pm I do not want a repeat of last year so I will only provide one bottle of wine to serve with lunch; tea & coffee is the only other refreshment on offer; that way they will hopefully decide to stay home & you’ll get a lovely Christmas with just your partner & kids 😂😂😂😘

Well op doesn’t agree with you and that’s ok!

This is why I’m not hosting this year!! I’ve hated it every year. Last year we had 12 people to host just a month after we had moved in (which made it worse somehow as there wasn’t a dish washer in the new house and the oven wasn’t the best) people arrived late meaning the food had to be kept warm and subsequently burnt a bit in the oven I wasn’t used to, and people brought three dogs with them. One of which kept having accidents in the house. It was awful! So I completely understand. Some people forget that it’s the hosts Christmas too!!! I hope you manage to have a lovely Christmas and people leave on time for you x

I'd tell them in advance that 7pm is your cut off time as you want a peaceful, quiet evening. If they moan that's too early then suggest your sister goes home with your parents to continue partying there.

Won’t help you for this year probably but what we do in my family is we all have our own Christmas at home to save people driving around etc. with video call throughout the day to wish people a good day etc Then on Boxing Day we take all of our leftovers round to my mum’s And she only has to make a massive load of mashed potato which more often these days she buys. So we have a mainly cold meal in the evening and then say goodbye about 9 o’clock.

' Run out of booze '

Er, tell them?!
Better still - uninvite them as you don’t seem to like them very much

So basically you vowed never to host again - and you're hosting? This might seem to indicate that you're not so good at putting your foot down and setting boundaries? It might be even worse and you have "people pleaser" tendancies, which means every person and their stray cat is rushing to you at xmas to manage all the stuff, emotional relatives, that they don't want to? Is this you? If so, there's little hope for you. You failed at the first tricky hurdle by letting them in your home. Somehow there's an unwritten rule that all relatives should be eating turkey and brussel sprouts together at midday - well call it 3pm after all the complications of tricky relatives getting drunk. I bet you are one of those kind-hearted suckers that wants no-one to be left out? So you volunteer? You've not seen the mistake yet - you volunteered! Rookie mistake! Break the pattern. Go to Spain next year or volunteer at a soup shelter. If you want to be more organised/ less welcoming, announce lunch followed by your new annual 3000 step walk after lunch. Those that survive, with rosy fresh-air healthy looks, you can pack off into taxis, while you and dh take the last of the hot water in a bath. Those that are lumbering around on your return, thank them, and pack them off into taxis. You then have a year to work out why DB and Dsis, after you were so upset last year, still managed to put all the stress on you again? Deep down you know you have family members who no one wants to be with, who out-stay their welcome - and you're the weakest/kindest of your family herd. Do something drastic next year, like not be in the country, and let the pieces fall where they may, or forever be the martyr. I put my foot down once. MIL spent xmas sailing the Nile. Well done her. Apparently, in future years, other people could pick up the pieces at xmas. It doesn't mean you don't get resented. It just means you're happier.

Go home and watch tv/have a bath/have more drinks/play games at home

Just stop hosting FFS. Really.

Just the sound of it is stressful 😩
You already know you should have said no don’t you? I’d inform them now (while they still have time to go out & buy their own food) that the thought of another year hosting is making you ill & you’re very sorry but you will have to cancel.
Do as you please and enjoy yourself 🙂

Great idea to serve a brunch platter on arrival. Maybe serve Bucks Fizz with it rather than go straight onto full strength booze.

Lots of good advice from @Workway but I'd still aim to get rid of them by 7pm - make it plain before they visit, my family usually send out a plan with timings and menu ahead of time for big occasions, eg noon arrivals, nibbles and fizz, 1pm 3-course lunch, 4pm walk, 5pm afternoon tea, carriages at 7pm.

Manage their expectations on arrival by telling them you can’t do another Christmas where you feel bloated by 6pm with all the food and booze and sitting around, so you will be going for an hour’s walk at 6pm. At 6pm you jump up, thank them for coming and let them out. Seriously, if they arrive at 11 that’s a long visit.

I still think the best way to get rid of them early and limit the drunkenness is to basically badger them all into helping you clean up after lunch.

You need to channel a jolly hockey sticks house mistress in a boarding school sort of vibe.

"COME ON EVERYONE! Don't you dare sit down just yet! There's washing up to do!"

It'll be really difficult for people to actually object to helping you clean up after the meal you have cooked and they have eaten.

What are they actually going to say?

"Oi, @Elfie23, stop hassling me, I didn't come here to be bossed around by you, I came here to be waited on hand and foot."

OP: "Oh, well, sorry to disappoint you but no one is sitting down until the kitchen is sparkling! If you don't like it, the door is that way."

This is why people must be themselves. Everyone knows I can be a brilliant host but only for a set time. I then take myself off to my bed and TV, and they can do as they please. They all find it hysterical now they are used to it.

“Nibbles and games time”🤣🤣🤣

This seems like common sense to me😊

I know I’m wasting my breath but this is for the benefit of those who didn’t read the thread. The DC is with their dad for Christmas, OP will be alone to cope with the drunks. She wants rid of them early so she can have some peace & quiet, & does not want a repeat of last year.

You need to send texts saying that due to unforeseen circumstances, you will no longer be hosting Christmas. Most people put themselves through it, & don’t seem to enjoy it. Don’t do this to yourself!

Do it know OP why theres still time for them to buy a turkey

Greenpolkadot - how does any of that make sense😂 read it back

Tell them beforehand 7pm is hometime. 6.30 start to get their coats. 6.45 tell them, 'Thank you for coming, it's been lovely.' And start to clear away the debris. 'No, I don't need any help, just let me see you off before I get stuck into it.'
Smile, open the front door and wave them goodnight.

Why didn’t you make it a condition that if you having to host yet again that it was only until 7pm.
And good luck with being able to book a taxi with so few days before Xmas.
I agree with the previous posts. At 4 pm ask who wants tea or coffee with slice of cake and ask how they’re getting home.
And sit in silence…..

I have my dad here for Xmas dinner - he had a tendency to drink too much and overstay his welcome so I tell him my mum is popping over at 7 (they're divorced!) He's practically running out the door by 6 😎

One year he dawdled and she really did come; that was excruciatingly awkward - they hate each other!

Your right..it's a load of rubbish , What I think I meant to say was ..
Cancel them coming.and do it now....while they've still got time to buy a turkey..
😂

That makes sense now in all ways😊