For wanting a break after working all year

[Blacksmithpepper]

I have two children (primary age) with ex wife. I pay all the bills which enables her to be a stay at home parent. I work abroad for the majority of the year and earn a good salary but work my arse off.

I am back in the UK until late January. I have arranged to see the children over the next couple of weeks and I am looking forward to spending time with them. Today ex has asked if I might do school drop offs and pick ups in January and be about more to help. I do not mind doing a few but I am firstly not living locally and I will also be wanting to spend time with my girlfriend. Am I unreasonable for wanting a break before going back to work again?

If you need a break to spend time with gf then you shouldn't have had kids 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think doing some but not all sounds unreasonable if the ex gets time to herself everyday whilst the children are at school.

Oh this is going to go well.

You work away but can’t prioritise your children when you come back?

This cannot be real.

Reverse!

Er………

So you don’t see your kids much as you’re abroad a lot and don’t live locally. Probably never did see them much even pre divorce.

You’ve got 6 weeks back in the UK and you’re planning to spend 2 of those weeks seeing your DC (some of the time) but then 4 of them seeing your GF and not your DC?

It’s not really about who needs a break. Don’t you want to see more of your DC when you have a rare chance to do so?

I just want honest options if I am in the wrong. I know I am not the most present father but I do love my kids.

Where does you girlfriend live? How many hours a week do you ordinarily work?

Well then bloody show them that by spending your time with them.

No shit!

Of course you’re in the wrong! Prioritise your children on the rare occasions you’re in the same country!

He probably didn't have a girlfriend when the kids were conceived.

By giving up the well paid job that enables their mother to stay at home? She could then get a job to make up the shortfall.

@ilovesooty with this type, I wouldn't so sure.

I agree re now they are school aged so that's slightly different. Being a SAHM is really difficult so he should be glad she's been willing to do that. When does she get a break from her life? Oh yeah between 9-3? And no weekends off? Doesn't sound like a fair deal to me.

Well there's no evidence that that is the case.

Heating the popcorn

Explain clearer how you thought this return from working was going to go in your head?
You say spend a few weeks with your children and a break to see your gf, explain exactly how long of each you were hoping to do.

Right, so yeah , just say you’re loving, don’t get your finger out and parent, just you have a break and let rheir mother do the work.

I think YANBU as you enable her to be a SAHM.

But can you compromise and do a 2/3 days a week?

I think you should do at least some drop offs and pick ups for your children. Then take some evenings/ weekends for both the children and to give your ex a break.

Are you Peter Andre?

Is this a mumsnet Christmas brainteaser?

Absent entitled father, stay at home mother ex? It's got all the ingredients for a good old froth.

Settles down with the popcorn 😁