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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH is on holiday for the next three weeks

223 replies

Nopenotrightnow · 12/12/2023 22:24

... and neither of us knows what he is going to do with his time! It's "forced" time off, his employer has insisted he takes paid holiday. He has no hobbies, turns down any suggestion I make if it doesn't involve walking our dogs. We have no family or friends close by. He has no interest in anything other than work or sport on TV. I am dreading the next few weeks.

OP posts:
Zebedee55 · 14/12/2023 17:10

It’s not really your problem. He can probably find things to do.

Allfur · 14/12/2023 17:15

Tessebelle, zo basically you're saying stop moaning or ltb, that's a very binary mumsnet world

Missingpop · 14/12/2023 18:10

Get him decorating the house; do the Christmas food shopping; deep cleaning the house room by room; putting the decorations up; cooking meals for you ready when you get home (if your working) there are dozens of things he can do he needs to change his mind set & look at the bigger picture

sumayyah · 14/12/2023 18:20

If he enjoys walking the dog are you near any national trust places you could walk round or any of the national parks you could go for a hike with the dog?
Shops or Amazon have hiking books you could find some simple walks, many with pubs or cafes that let dogs in

Justontherightsideofnormal · 14/12/2023 18:29

3 weeks is a long time. However your dogs will love the extra walks. The darts start soon, which is on all over Christmas/new year. Does your DH like watching this?
channel 5 has lots of Christmas movies on daily. I hope he enjoys his time off (maybe more than you will) and the new year will come round soon enough. This is my DH idea of a dream he could waste days or even weeks watching crap tv. Good luck.

payens · 14/12/2023 18:40

Controlling!!

Grammarnut · 14/12/2023 18:46

Why are you dreading it? Are you off work, do not (happy you!) go out to work? Let him watch TV and walk the dogs. It's what he wants to do. If you want to go to see friends, out for coffee etc, go an exhibition, you do it. It's his time to spend as he chooses. It is not your responsibility to entertain him.

Lavender14 · 14/12/2023 18:48

Hi op, is your dh depressed? Just asking because that can make it hard for someone to deal with time off and to motivate themselves to do things.

Are you going to be at home at the same time as him?

If he won't plan things for himself can you busy yourself so you're out and about so you don't need to be in each others space all the time?

masterblaster · 14/12/2023 18:54

Get him a PS5.

Meowandthen · 14/12/2023 18:59

Unless he follows you around all day why is this a problem?

He’s an adult, isn’t he?

Orbitolld · 14/12/2023 19:00

Sounds like a lot of dog walking to me! Maybe he can go and find some new walks and stuff?

Jeannie88 · 14/12/2023 19:17

If you have children then time is pretty much fully occupied, along with daily household tasks. If not then surely you can both enjoy some time off together, go for walks, chill out on settee, do some of those jobs you've been putting off, meet up with family and friends, the list is endless really! Doesn't have to be a schedule, take each day as it comes, see what you fancy doing? That's the whole point of free time I'm led to believe? Will you be working, have you got things planned, retired? Whatever the situation, just go with the flow...

startquitting · 14/12/2023 19:29

So you just go to work, and come home to a clean house and dinner. What’s your problem?

OhcantthInkofaname · 14/12/2023 19:37

I don't understand why it's your problem.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 14/12/2023 19:46

Oh ffs, leave the poor sod alone and let him spend his time off how he wants to.....maybe he's dreading the next 3 weeks with you nagging down his ear ?!?!

Pineapple35 · 14/12/2023 19:56

Sounds like he needs a break with a wife like you. “Dreading” him having some time off work. Imagine if this was reversed and a husband was trying to tell his wife what to do with her time off.

llizzie · 14/12/2023 20:25

Best consider a divorce, if you cannot stand three weeks in a row together. What will you do when you are both retired?

PepsiMarx · 14/12/2023 20:28

Nopenotrightnow · 12/12/2023 22:42

Thank you all so much for your help. I now understand why Mumsnetters are known to be so helpful. I hope you all have a nice holiday period, don't need any advice and if you do, I hope you all find someone as helpful / snarky as yourselves.

Yeah... he's probably dreading the next few weeks with you also !

Tessabelle74 · 14/12/2023 20:29

Allfur · 14/12/2023 17:15

Tessebelle, zo basically you're saying stop moaning or ltb, that's a very binary mumsnet world

No, I'm saying she clearly doesn't like him so why is she with him. She needs to examine her feelings and ask why the thought of spending time with him isn't a pleasant one

llizzie · 14/12/2023 20:30

Encourage a hobby. If you don't have a hobby which does NOT include anything you usually do, then when retirement comes, you both are more likely to suffer dementia if you do not have another interest. Professional people tend to spend their whole lives absorbed in their profession to the exclusion of everything else. You have to learn to fill your brain with all sorts of different things, even research the family tree, or any research, otherwise, you risk sinking into oblivion in retirement.

SuspiciousSue · 14/12/2023 20:37

Why are you dreading the next few weeks? Don’t you like the man you married?

RedToothBrush · 14/12/2023 20:59

SuspiciousSue · 14/12/2023 20:37

Why are you dreading the next few weeks? Don’t you like the man you married?

I have to wonder how she will cope with the concept of 'retirement'.

Blades2 · 14/12/2023 21:38

Sounds like you don’t like your DH that much to dread having him around for two weeks 😳

Lindyloomillion1 · 14/12/2023 22:02

He'll sort himself out if you leave him be

Goodlard · 14/12/2023 22:03

Lindyloomillion1 · 14/12/2023 22:02

He'll sort himself out if you leave him be

Probably twice a day ..... Grin