To expect after school club to provide a proper tea?

[Fummymummy]

Genuinely don't know what the norm is here so looking for perspective.

Dd is in reception and goes to wrap around after school.
After she'd come home starving several times, I asked the staff for more info about the tea set up.
They serve tea at 3.30pm, DD says she isn't hungry then so doesn't eat. Fair enough.The food is then taken away and they can have a cracker or a biscuit as snacks later on.
Every single day last week she has had crackers for tea, and today she's had 1 biscuit!
I get that she's offered tea but if she isn't hungry they can't force her to eat, and they have to have a cut off - that's fine, so I asked if they would at least save her plate for later so she at least gets her tea even if it's cold.
She came home yet again today absolutely starving. Doesn't seem like they're keeping her plate back.

We don't get home until about 6pm so she's going from 11.40 (when reception eat) til then.

AIBU to be pissed off that she's living off crackers and biscuits when she's meant to have tea there?
I don't get why it's so early, or why they need to take plates away if some clearly haven't eaten.
Is this normal? Do most kids have to have a second tea at home later? (We usually have bedtime snacks, not a full meal). I know it's not like a nursery where the ratio is lower, but it feels poor that they're letting her go without (bar the crackers).

She's in bed for 7pm so it's a struggle when I'm having to rustle something proper up between getting home, doing her reading and bath/ bedtime.

Am I expecting too much?

I’d expect them to have a snack then eat dinner at home to be honest. Unless it’s a proper catering affair and you’re paying extra for it?

ASC here wouldn't provide a full meal. It's more of a snack until they get home.

Might be different at yours if they're providing something and she's refusing? I guess the timings would line up with a snack though. A lot of kids tend to be hungry after school IME.

Could you send her an extra packed lunch? Or any possibility of batch cooking over the weekend for a quick solution during the busy week when you get home?

YABU. They are offering her tea but she’s choosing not to have it. At our school they provide a ‘picky’ tea of cold meats, sausage rolls etc. If my son is hungry when he gets home then he has toast or something but not a full meal.

Is she meant to be being fed tea there? Is it specified in the contract? Ours get a snack. Some toast or a small wrap or fruit or crackers. No expectation that they are fed their evening meal.

Yeah, it was always a snack here and DD used to have dinner when she got home. Ours didn’t have the funding or resources to offer any more.

Mine always ate again, though the tea was served at 4.15 at theirs. My niece eats again too.

Toast, soup, cereal, spaghetti hoops, scrambled egg etc all quick once you get in.

Ours just do a snack and it's expected that dinner is eaten later on at home

Could you pack her an after school lunchbox that she could eat when she's hungry and they'd give to her?

ASC here does a snack (bread sticks) at 3.30 and then dinner at 5 ISH . Eg jacket potato, pasta . Yanbu if your provision includes food to expect it later than 3.30.

In my experience they won't change their standard routine for one child though, eg they won't keep the plate back routinely if they don't do it already.

Can you ask the school why the food is served so early? Your DC can't be the only one who doesn't want to eat so early

Um, what? Of course you’re meant to give your child a proper evening meal, I can’t believe you think otherwise.

Ours provides a hot full evening meal but it is pretty early too.

I think you need to encourage your DD to eat even if it's early for her

Ours is a snack only (sandwiches/toast or similar) proper dinner at 6 when home. But it was never sold as more than that..

Yes you are being unreasonable.
ASC at my children’s primary costs £4.50 (3.20-5pm) and they have jam sandwiches, fruit and milk. Which I thought was a steal!
They aren’t going to provide a hot meal at that time of day.
Can you not put some snacks in her book bag?

A full meal op? Even if they hold it back to 4.30 it's not going to be enough to see thwm through til breakfast.

Ours used to do noodles, toast, beans. Nothing fancy at all, certainly need a proper dinner after being collected.

I definitely wouldn't expect tea/ dinner. Mine does a small snack straight away of usually fruit and then they have toast about an hour later.

What kind of tea do they provide? If it’s an actual meal would your daughter eat it anyway if it’s cold? Both my kids are absolutely starving by 3:30 and they have their dinner later, they completely raid the cupboards lol. If your daughter won’t eat at 3:30 when food is offered sounds like the only option is to make her a quick tea when you get home

Very honestly...

I'd be looking for a childminder and taking her out of after-school club.

Biscuits and squash is more common. Kids eat when they get home

I’ve not known an ASC give dinner rather than a snack but it depends what they say they do. Giving it early means everyone gets it if even they go home early. Very few stay until 6 at either of the ones my kids go to. Children also probably won’t want to stop playing once they’ve got going to eat either.

Different ASCs are different - ours costs a lot more (£16) but does include a full meal and if mine eat it, they just have a piece of fruit or toast or something and are happy to go through to morning.

Last week they had fish and chips, curry and rice, spag bol

YABU to be pissed off. Most kids 4 hours after they eating a reception sized school lunch would be hungry enough to eat dinner. If she's choosing not to, you can't be annoyed at the after school club. Meal prep so you just have to heat something up at 6.

I think you're expecting too much, I'm afraid. DS is given snacks at after school club, things like veggie sticks, cocktail sausages etc. but it's not a meal portion and the expectation is absolutely that we will be giving him a proper dinner when we get home.

On busy days when he's staying late, I find having something that's been cooking all day in the slow cooker or something ready to go straight into the pressure cooker as soon as we get home is a God send. I used to roll my eyes at the slow cooker obsession a few years ago, but actually I just throw meat/veg/sauce in in the morning before work then it's ready to eat as soon as we get home, just a case of boiling some veg/rice etc. so we can be eating within 10-15 mins of walking in the door, bath and pyjamas on whilst the sides are cooking so then he's ready for bed - it makes evenings much less frantic as we were really struggling to make them work before

In terms of the amount of food, it depends how much you're paying and what they've promised.

Yabu to expect them to change the timings/routine for just one kid.

Mine used to get something like a slice of toast with beans on it or a wrap and veg sticks at about 4/4.30pm but not a substantial meal.it just gave me a bit of breathing space after picking them up before I needed to have dinner ready.

if she is eating lunch at 11.40am then surely she could manage something at 3.30pm to keep her going until she gets home?

I think you’re expecting too much. ASC provides a snack, not a proper meal. And it’s served early as so few children stay til 6, most are picked up at 4

I'd expect a snack or light meal, size equivalent to a sandwich. I'd still be serving dinner or supper at home.