To expect after school club to provide a proper tea?

[Fummymummy]

Genuinely don't know what the norm is here so looking for perspective.

Dd is in reception and goes to wrap around after school.
After she'd come home starving several times, I asked the staff for more info about the tea set up.
They serve tea at 3.30pm, DD says she isn't hungry then so doesn't eat. Fair enough.The food is then taken away and they can have a cracker or a biscuit as snacks later on.
Every single day last week she has had crackers for tea, and today she's had 1 biscuit!
I get that she's offered tea but if she isn't hungry they can't force her to eat, and they have to have a cut off - that's fine, so I asked if they would at least save her plate for later so she at least gets her tea even if it's cold.
She came home yet again today absolutely starving. Doesn't seem like they're keeping her plate back.

We don't get home until about 6pm so she's going from 11.40 (when reception eat) til then.

AIBU to be pissed off that she's living off crackers and biscuits when she's meant to have tea there?
I don't get why it's so early, or why they need to take plates away if some clearly haven't eaten.
Is this normal? Do most kids have to have a second tea at home later? (We usually have bedtime snacks, not a full meal). I know it's not like a nursery where the ratio is lower, but it feels poor that they're letting her go without (bar the crackers).

She's in bed for 7pm so it's a struggle when I'm having to rustle something proper up between getting home, doing her reading and bath/ bedtime.

Am I expecting too much?

They won't be providing a proper tea. They will prepare a sandwich, finger rolls and fruit and or yoghurt.

They're not paid enough to run the kitchen and Cook will not be available.

Your child will be given some sustenance to get them through to an actual meal for when they get home.

Also, many ASC don't have permission to use the kitchens as they are often outside providers.

Have something prepared at home if she is not eating at the club.
Otherwise, ask your daughter to eat a snack and put some extra tea from club in her lunch box. That will give her something to snack on while you prepare tea for the family.

Actually, if she's going back to her nursery I can see why you presumed it would be the same food!

Do you use the same one as me? I swear that's an exact list of some of the stuff they've had on offer 😂

Yeah tbf I dislike meal planning too, my thoughts are exactly the same! But I have a slow cooker and we batch cook a lot, so I guess I'll get cracking on having a few quick options in.
My youngest is never hungry after nursery so they must have something more substantial there!

It's meant to be a small tea, not a proper meal. They often have it quite early - I worked somewhere once where it was served just after 4pm, it's certainly not designed to be the last meal of the day. The budget for the tea is often very low and they might not be allowed to use the kitchen. Really it just replaces the snack you might give your child between school pick up and dinner.

I think you’re expecting far too much. Our ASC provide croissants / crackers / toast and it’s £12 from 3.30pm - 6pm. It’s very much described as a light snack.

Never ever has a kid of mine even received crackers as part of an after school club! I mean, sometimes they’d eat tangerines as some sort of mindfulness exercise in yoga 😜 but that was IT. I would always always always bring some snacks for right after school at that age, when they are always starving and then get upset.

My kids ASC provides tea at about 4:45 always something hot. However, even after having this they always need something when we get home.

8pm for a 12 year old? Our scouts (from age 10 1/2) finish at 9, cubs at 7 thirty.

OP, I’d certainly be telling DD that I expected her to sit down with the others and eat when they did - that it’s not optional.

Children are used to eating when the set time happens. Not everyone might be ravenous at 12pm when infant age children have lunch…but they still eat.

It’s possible that the club are into ‘do what you like - free flow everything’ and that unfortunately turns into some nit sitting down to eat and missing out. They aren’t going to be keeping her plate for when she’s eventually peckish - these things don’t work to individual timetables . If she has a plate later, others will ask for one, clearing up needed later etc etc.

Yes, you might need to have more in for her for when you get home. But actually, if she eats the tea or at least some of it after school, she might not always need much at all later.

But all these clubs and their provision, prices and timing do differ. It’s easy to imagine it’s one thing when it actually is pretty different. Lots of people find they have to adjust their own mealtimes or food provision in light of it, because it’s not quite ideal for their family. You get used to it and as you say OP, as they get a bit bigger, bedtime isn’t such an issue and everything feels a bit more flexible.

Do you walk or drive home? If driving could you give her a sandwich in the car?

In respect of empty wraps DS got a taste for these during DofE training and became his snack of choice!

It's a snack to keep them going not their evening meal. Some are collected quite soon, even by 4, so I understand them giving it straight away.

Ours does a snack not tea. The snack is things like crumpets, noodles, toast etc. Not tea. This is until 6pm.

They are offering her food and she is not having it thing is these days they may not be able to keep her food out and serve it cold for health and safety reasons.

Yes I think you are basing expectations on full time private nursery....where they will often give them a full evening meal.

My kids did nursery for years. The children are younger with an earlier bedtime, and pick up often later so a full "tea" is normal but at our nursery it was still around 4pm

Then they had a childminder who did after school care and she would give a "snack" after school...which was usually cooked and healthy. But then we would have a small dinner at home.

Afterschool club only ever gave biscuits and fruit, or crumpets or tea cakes or similar.

And other parents may not want them eating a snack too late or they may not eat their dinner.

It's a totally fair point about keeping food aside, but I did ask them and they said they would - so not an unreasonable expectation if they've agreed to it 🤷 either way it doesn't sound like it's happening anyway, so it's not something I'm going to push. From the responses it's clear I'll be much better just preparing something at home and expecting that she hasn't eaten much while there.

Maybe she is distracted and just wants to play rather than eating? I'd be having a conversation with her about that first and the importance of eating the food when its offered. My child is ravenous when he finishes at 3.10 and wants his tea at half 3 as soon as we get home! I also have to take in extra fruit snacks for him as the school dinners aren't keeping him full enough. I do his tea at half 3/4 and then he has toast or bagel and a yogurt or something about 6. He's in bed for 7pm. Our ASC although he doesn't go, costs £7 for 2 hours and it includes things like paninis /wraps etc

This. The audacity is astounding. Feed your own child! They are offering her a tea but she doesn't want it, do you want them to force her to eat??

Sounds similar to nursery: hot lunch at 11.30am, sandwich tea at 3pm then home at 6pm and we have dinner at 6.30

Yeah mine usually ate again at home, though if they had a school dinner and a fairly decent meal there they wouldn’t always eat again, it would depend. They ate at 4 at mine as some kids left soon after

With food hygiene procedures I can see why they don't want to keep a plate of food going cold (or just hanging around) on the side for eating later. Meats and things will need refrigerating and there's a risk another child might eat something off the plate that they're allergic to or shouldn't eat.

But I totally get where you're coming from. I expect your daughter is either too keen to play or maybe just needs some downtime before eating. It will get better though as she gets a bit older. They can articulate a bit more as to why they're not eating it, as well as the later bedtime giving more time for food at home.

Our ASC only offers a snack although sometimes they get lucky with wraps or similar. They usually get left over lunch desserts though. We pay £8.50 for 3:15 - 5:30pm. I did resort to some kiddie ready meals some evenings to ease the pressure when they were younger and had earlier bedtimes.

god depressingly low standards here for childcare. This is a 4 or 5 year old - they should be allowed and encouraged to eat when hungry!!

My kids were at a childminder and were given proper dinner - our school ASC does spag bol etc proper tea -

And 330 and then no other chance to eat??? For a little reception kid?

This is just bullshit levels of care for children.

I blame the fucking government. Schools have had to cut back on everything. My DCs school used to provide a lovely proper hot meal and now it’s utter crap. DD needs feeding again every eve, because of this she doesn’t get to bed until after 8pm and then won’t wake up in the morning. It’s a fucking nightmare.