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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have sex on your period

324 replies

Toothurtyoclock · 10/12/2023 21:47

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

OP posts:
Chickenwing2 · 10/12/2023 21:51

No, I don't. But I had a similar conversation with a friend who does and was surprised I didn't, she said "just put a towel down." Yuck! I can wait the week.

Ladybughello · 10/12/2023 21:51

Just do whatever you both feel like doing. It’s totally up to you - there are no rules!

CompanyisComing · 10/12/2023 21:51

Yes, I do with current DP and several ex DP’s in the past too. It’s never been an issue and our sex life goes on as normal. We are quite active, every day, sometimes multiple times, so going 3-4 days without sounds like torture.

DustyLee123 · 10/12/2023 21:52

I never have, and never would. But that’s me, each to their own!

MrsRetriever · 10/12/2023 21:53

Not the first couple of days when I get pelvic pain. But yes, always have.

Less keen on oral (receiving) during.

NightTimeRain · 10/12/2023 21:53

Personally no way and my ex (I’m single now) would have never had sex when I was on my period either it was a no go to him. I read something disgusting on here once when a poster said her partner still went down on her on her period 🤮

Projectme · 10/12/2023 21:54

Nope, not for me thanks. For DH it would be a nope too. But each to their own.

DanceMumTaxi · 10/12/2023 21:54

No never, just feels a bit urgh to me, but each to their own.

ColettesEarrings · 10/12/2023 21:55

No thank you! But then we're not very 'active' anyway, as per a previous poster's phrase.

PMTsickandtiredofyourshit · 10/12/2023 21:55

Do what you want!

WhichIsItWendy · 10/12/2023 21:55

Nope, my periods last 4-5 days and I can cope without sex for that long. And for me, sex involves foreplay and I wouldn't want his fingers and more there whilst I'm bleeding.

Keilagh · 10/12/2023 21:55

Nah. Last thing I’d want to do on my period.

Wouldn’t it stink and that aswell? 🤢

Isis1981uk · 10/12/2023 21:55

My periods are very light so it doesn't really impact our sex life other than him not going down on me!

gamerchick · 10/12/2023 21:55

Some people don't like crime scene sex and that's ok.

ChristmasPuddy · 10/12/2023 21:56

Yes, I have done with a few men actually.. Just not in the first few days. I would fully understand if someone (female or male!) didn’t want to though.

glossypeach · 10/12/2023 21:56

I have nothing against people who do it, it’s each to their own. But personally, on my period the last thing I’d want is a man in that region!

TedMullins · 10/12/2023 21:57

I have and would, most of the time I choose not to simply because I can’t be arsed with the mess but I don’t think it’s gross or wrong. There are no rules, it’s an individual choice

Allfur · 10/12/2023 21:57

Isn't there a famous movie about that with Brooke shields?

spookehtooth · 10/12/2023 21:57

I've never had an issue with having sex with a woman on her period, the only thing I've not done is use my tongue down there. Obviously, I hope, if she wasn't comfortable then I'd go along with that and wait. I can't recall being in that position tho

Sallybegood · 10/12/2023 21:57

I haven’t but I don’t see why not. Maybe do it in the bath or shower if you’re worried about cleanliness?

Beginningless · 10/12/2023 21:58

I don’t mind in the last day or two when it’s very light. But can’t imagine feeling like it when it’s heavy. And thinking about mess to clean up is exceedingly unsexy for me. But do whatever you feel about it!

StarDolphins · 10/12/2023 21:58

It’s a no from me🤮

GladAllOver · 10/12/2023 21:58

Yes. In the shower. We actually look forward to it.

Itsmychristmasdress · 10/12/2023 21:58

No...just no..

PermanentTemporary · 10/12/2023 21:59

Thrse days (50s) I have sex, but usually not PIV and definitely not receiving oral. Generally in the past I only gave BJs but not having anything else made me resentful so I downed tools completely for some years. I've moved on now.