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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you have sex on your period

324 replies

Toothurtyoclock · 10/12/2023 21:47

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

OP posts:
WrylyAmused · 10/12/2023 22:16

Yes, just as much as any other time of the month. And on any day, heavy flow or not.

Sometimes more - orgasms are great for fixing period cramps, and I'm often more into the idea at that time of the month - but then we have sex most days anyway.

Have done with every partner, have never had a negative reaction, but also I wouldn't have much time for anyone who thinks a normal bodily function is disgusting or a problem.

If you're not into it yourself, fine, but I have no time for that kind of body shaming from a partner.

Towels are fine & blood washes out easily, or there's a brand called San Francisco sheets which are kind of silky comfortable, but waterproof, so you can put them over the normal sheets and then just rinse them off before running on a quick wash.

What I find bizarre, personally, is all the people saying that they just give blow jobs that week....

I mean, again, great if you're into it, but I don't much enjoy that at the best of times, and when I'm feeling crampy & not great, I want him to be thinking of my comfort and pleasure, not just thinking how he can get his...

littlematchstickgirl · 10/12/2023 22:16

Ex husband wouldn't go there at all, which I respected.

My current DP does and I was a little hesitant at first, after such a long marriage never doing it. We put a towel down, to reduce mess.

I bleed heavily sometimes but it doesn't matter to him (or me). Sometimes it is very 'crime scene' afterwards, but I do orgasm easily, although it can be more wet than normal.

I feel very loved by him and he says he just wants us to be close. I like it, it's just (other) bodily fluids that we share.

H9b7b · 10/12/2023 22:17

I have really heavy ones so it’s a hard no for me!

Torganer · 10/12/2023 22:17

@Beginningless
Im not sure people were advocating having sex with a cup in, but I think a cup and a penis is a lot smaller than a baby’s head. Vaginas are designed to expand.

Devilsmommy · 10/12/2023 22:19

gamerchick · 10/12/2023 21:55

Some people don't like crime scene sex and that's ok.

Crime scene sex🤣🤣🤣 pmsl. That's what I'm forever going to call it now. Thanks @gamerchick . OP I have done it but it's not for me, just feels too icky and as pp have said, what's the point without foreplay?

TheWanderingWoman · 10/12/2023 22:21

I definitely wouldn't because my periods are really painful and heavy so sex is the last thing on my mind. But if both people are happy to then I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it.

BananaSplitsss · 10/12/2023 22:22

skyfalldown · 10/12/2023 22:14

Yes, including oral, never had any complaints

Really?

I could never feel comfy with someone giving me oral whilst blood is flowing.

Despite the pleasure of oral sex… I couldn’t bear to look down there and for him to put his head and look at me with a mouth like a vampire.

SauronsArsehole · 10/12/2023 22:24

I don’t appreciate the nagging for a BJ either. The lining of my uterus is shedding and I’m passing clots I can actually feel come out, spoiler is not sexy. Sometimes I flood and that feels weird as hell too. The pain running through your things too. The last thing I want to think about is a bloke whining for a BJ whilst my fanny is auditioning for the evil dead.

christmaspaws · 10/12/2023 22:24

Nope. Endo and heavy periods

TeenLifeMum · 10/12/2023 22:25

Nope, never feel less sexy than when I’m on my period. They last four days… I can wait.

FreshWinterMorning · 10/12/2023 22:25

Urgh no! Confused Sex is messy enough as it is, without adding period waste to the party. How foul. 🤮 As pps have said, it's smelly too!

Why, just WHY would anyone do this? Shock

Rainydays777 · 10/12/2023 22:25

You can get tampons without a string that are basically like sponges, better when it’s not super heavy but otherwise you’d never know, and you can carry on as normal!

Kittylala · 10/12/2023 22:25

For some reason, seeing a dick covered in blood is a turn off for me.

babyproblems · 10/12/2023 22:25

I have a couple of times when younger and had light periods.. It’s a bit yuck for me and I wouldn’t now. Not interested! I had a friend at uni whose bf loved it and I recall her telling us how he used to pull out her tampon with his teeth. I’ve never gotten over that imagery 🤮🤮🤮

beanontoast · 10/12/2023 22:26

Yep I do, always have. Normally have a shower first as water seems to stem the blood. No oral obviously. Stick a towel down. It actually really helps the cramps.

BananaSplitsss · 10/12/2023 22:26

babyproblems · 10/12/2023 22:25

I have a couple of times when younger and had light periods.. It’s a bit yuck for me and I wouldn’t now. Not interested! I had a friend at uni whose bf loved it and I recall her telling us how he used to pull out her tampon with his teeth. I’ve never gotten over that imagery 🤮🤮🤮

W T A F

FreshWinterMorning · 10/12/2023 22:27

Rainydays777 · 10/12/2023 22:25

You can get tampons without a string that are basically like sponges, better when it’s not super heavy but otherwise you’d never know, and you can carry on as normal!

🤮

FreshWinterMorning · 10/12/2023 22:28

babyproblems · 10/12/2023 22:25

I have a couple of times when younger and had light periods.. It’s a bit yuck for me and I wouldn’t now. Not interested! I had a friend at uni whose bf loved it and I recall her telling us how he used to pull out her tampon with his teeth. I’ve never gotten over that imagery 🤮🤮🤮

🤮 OMFG! THAT'S FOUL! Shock

Katy231 · 10/12/2023 22:28

No ... It's too uncomfortable and icky. plus I'm not in the mood.

Waitingfordoggo · 10/12/2023 22:28

I used to earlier on in my relationship with DH. My periods were a fair bit lighter and less painful then. I wouldn’t do it now and haven’t for a long time- that whole area inside and out is too tender and the flow is heavier these days. DH would be happy to but it’s not for me.

namestevalian · 10/12/2023 22:28

endofthecorridoor · 10/12/2023 22:02

I think the ladies who do maybe use a menstrual cup which makes it much less messy

How does this work 😂

maddiemookins16mum · 10/12/2023 22:29

Nope/never.

LBFseBrom · 10/12/2023 22:29

I have, when younger, but never felt entirely comfortable about it because of the mess. I think it is good to have a time without sex, a special time in which one can show respect and consideration, and it's all the nicer when the period is finished. Those who feel they have to have sex during a period strike me as rather lacking in self control and don't have much else to think about.

seagull82 · 10/12/2023 22:29

I do with my DH and have with ex boyfriends. We always do it in the shower.

emmylousings · 10/12/2023 22:29

Yes definitely. It's good actually, feels more sensitive down there at that time.

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