Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have sex on your period

324 replies

Toothurtyoclock · 10/12/2023 21:47

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

OP posts:
WrylyAmused · 10/12/2023 22:42

@BlazingJune & others who doubt we're having sex when bleeding heavily - sure, if you don't feel like it or aren't into it, entirely your prerogative, but I bleed very heavily the first 2-3 days, and I've never thought anything of it, never been the least bothered.

Yes, it's a bit Texas chainsaw massacre, but since we both always shower after sex anyway, it makes virtually no difference.

As a pp said - you've already got sweat, semen, other bodily fluids - why the big deal about blood?

Keilagh · 10/12/2023 22:42

@SkySecret erm…. no 🫤 if your period stinks you probably need to see someone about it. Periods don’t smell of anything at all.

Of course it does. Period blood has a very distinct smell. Me and my friends can even smell it on others 😂

It’s not a gross smell but you’re talking bullshit if you think yours doesn’t smell of anything at all 😂

BlazingJune · 10/12/2023 22:43

Those of you who have sex- are you on the Pill? Using condoms?

I have adeno as a PP said and my first couple of days are ghastly. A towel on the bed wouldn't cut it.

I feel bloated, totally unsexy, headachy, legs ache, and all I want is to get to bed and hope I don't leak overnight.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 10/12/2023 22:43

Can’t imagine wanting it less than when I’m on my period. I feel gross and rubbish for that week and just want to curl up in a ball.

LemonLight · 10/12/2023 22:44

I have done. My DH isn't in the slightest bit bothered by blood, in fact thanks to my DH I became a lot more relaxed about my period. We don't go out of way to do it but if the mood strikes and I'm not feeling down and periody then sure.

SgtJuneAckland · 10/12/2023 22:44

Those who are saying it's fine put a towel on the bed, do you have really sedentary sex? A towel on the bed didn't make a blind bit of difference the one time we did, it was everywhere sheets, skin, pillowcase, there was even a partial handprint

Fedupwitheveryone · 10/12/2023 22:47

Each to their own but i'm really surprised at the number of women here who are dead against it. My own periods are irregular and I don't get to see my partner often, so I don't always get to pick and choose days.
I find the amount that men are 'grossed out' by female bodily functions to be a pretty good marker of how mature they are generally.

jenny38 · 10/12/2023 22:47

Definitely, it's good for period pain....

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 10/12/2023 22:48

My ex had a massive sex drive so we would have sex on my period if I was at his - he would even say he preferred it because my sex drive went up after the first nasty day. I would fret endlessly about it but there was never any mess, and it’s supposed to be really good for easing cramps.
Current boyfriend - not totally opposed.
Maybe give it a try and see if you both like it?

Ardith · 10/12/2023 22:49

It’s not for me, I think it would be gross and I don’t want him touching menstruation anymore than I’d want him touching me on the toilet. It’s private.

Anyway, we always start off with taking turns to do oral and being on my period would make that gross and messy. Perhaps if women just lie there and get humped briefly on a towel it matters less.

User0224 · 10/12/2023 22:49

Always have, always will. Life’s too short to ban myself from sex for 5-8 days a month. Like many others I’ve never thought twice about it to be honest. And yes I have a normal flow and yes I change positions like it’s sex at any other time of the month!

To the people saying doesn’t it smell awful…er that sounds more like BV than a period. It shouldn’t, and doesn’t.

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 10/12/2023 22:50

Also @Ardith can tell you from experience that if your period is light and you’re on your back, oral sex is not going to be messy or at least never was a single time with my ex.

fingerguns · 10/12/2023 22:50

I sometimes do but I don't like the sensation as much as period blood isn't a good lubricant. Plus I'm stressed about getting blood on the sheets, or indeed on the towel.

Discospacecherry · 10/12/2023 22:50

I'm on my period now so touchy. But the replies where people seem to suggest you're uptight if you don't are really pissing me off. As I said I have lots of pain, clots and a very heavy flow. It's as if people can't imagine others having different bodies and experiences.

beanontoast · 10/12/2023 22:50

Ardith · 10/12/2023 22:49

It’s not for me, I think it would be gross and I don’t want him touching menstruation anymore than I’d want him touching me on the toilet. It’s private.

Anyway, we always start off with taking turns to do oral and being on my period would make that gross and messy. Perhaps if women just lie there and get humped briefly on a towel it matters less.

This comment has me howling, the way you're putting down women who like period sex as lying on a towel being humped yet you always start sex the same way as if it's a set menu. D e a d.

Talktometellmeyourname · 10/12/2023 22:51

Not for me. I just don’t feel ’fresh’ enough and I wouldn’t enjoy it.

YeahIsaidit · 10/12/2023 22:51

Nope, I feel gross and very unsexy when on my period. Being bloated as shit and uncomfortable does not for a sexy time make

LindaHoney · 10/12/2023 22:51

The thoughts of it gross me out, but the reality not so much. The first day of my period is really heavy and I feel awful.

afterwards? Nah. DH isn’t squeamish. Without being crude, his bodily fluids are in me enough that we don’t gross ourselves out over it.

I find on day 3 onwards, having sex makes the cramps a lot less, I sleep better, nothing a shower afterwards can’t fix.

Keilagh · 10/12/2023 22:52

User0224 · 10/12/2023 22:49

Always have, always will. Life’s too short to ban myself from sex for 5-8 days a month. Like many others I’ve never thought twice about it to be honest. And yes I have a normal flow and yes I change positions like it’s sex at any other time of the month!

To the people saying doesn’t it smell awful…er that sounds more like BV than a period. It shouldn’t, and doesn’t.

It doesn’t smell awful but I imagine there would still be a distinct period “aroma” 🤢

beanontoast · 10/12/2023 22:52

Discospacecherry · 10/12/2023 22:50

I'm on my period now so touchy. But the replies where people seem to suggest you're uptight if you don't are really pissing me off. As I said I have lots of pain, clots and a very heavy flow. It's as if people can't imagine others having different bodies and experiences.

Agree you're not uptight if you don't enjoy it but let's be honest, the pearl clutching and downright weird comments from those who don't are just as bad...no wonder there's so many dead bedrooms with so many 'germaphobes' and people who 'don't like a smell'

StressedOutSemolina · 10/12/2023 22:53

Absolutely disgusting

ButterCupPie · 10/12/2023 22:53

DH and I have never let my monthlies put me off, in fact often it's better. One or two funny anecdotes occur to me that I had better not write here!

Lionesssss · 10/12/2023 22:53

I have a pretty low sex drive but it often improves whilst on my period. Not every month but on occasions I do get horny within the first day or two.
I also got pregnant whilst on my period (at the end), I didn’t think I could be pregnant because I’d only had sex once that cycle and I was on my period…I was wrong!

Keilagh · 10/12/2023 22:58

beanontoast · 10/12/2023 22:52

Agree you're not uptight if you don't enjoy it but let's be honest, the pearl clutching and downright weird comments from those who don't are just as bad...no wonder there's so many dead bedrooms with so many 'germaphobes' and people who 'don't like a smell'

Show quote history

Me and my ex always had sex 3-4 times a week except during my time of the month. Finding period sex gross doesn’t mean you have a dead bedroom. What a strange assumption.

Thepeopleversuswork · 10/12/2023 23:00

I haven't had a period for nearly 20 years (thank you Mirena). Have in the past done it occasionally towards the end but not when it's really heavy. Too painful and usually not in the mood. Don't have anything against the idea in principle but not for me.