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Original poster

To ask if you have sex on your period

324 replies

Toothurtyoclock · 10/12/2023 21:47

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

OP posts:
ttcat37 · 10/12/2023 22:29

I didn’t, until I dated a guy when I was about 23/24. He was a bit older than me. We were getting down to it and I said “I can’t! I’m on my period!” He said “so?” And I’m not joking, he whipped out my tampon and chucked it on my bedroom floor. That was that. Periods haven’t stopped me since that day. And not a single man has give a single shit about shagging me on my period.

skyfalldown · 10/12/2023 22:29

BananaSplitsss · 10/12/2023 22:22

Really?

I could never feel comfy with someone giving me oral whilst blood is flowing.

Despite the pleasure of oral sex… I couldn’t bear to look down there and for him to put his head and look at me with a mouth like a vampire.

Show quote history

Can't say I've ever thought about it much, but he's never looked like that. Idk the science but the flow seems to stop.... and his mouth isn't exactly in that area...

Xtraincome · 10/12/2023 22:29

With my heavy periods it would be like the scene from The Shining when the lift opens! So no from me, but i am jealous if it's an option for others without slasher movie-level mess.

babyproblems · 10/12/2023 22:30

@BananaSplitsss I know. Grim!!! He was a police officer at the time. The whole thing really made me queasy!!!

Beseen22 · 10/12/2023 22:30

Had a similar conversation with a friend recently. Nope for me. Married to a germaphobe. Have endo so would be a nightmare scene and periods very stop start so even if I thought I was safe I wouldn't be.

Genuinely impressed with you all for being up for it. I never miss work for periods but spend the entire day with a menstrual cup and night pad feeling like I'm dying while wearing a nappy then come home and just want to lie on the couch or bed with a hot water bottle and be away from all civilisation with loose fit pjs that don't dig into my stomach. I also have hormonal acne in the form of 6 + large spots around my chin. I can safely say I'm not feeling particularly sexy.

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 22:30

I’ve had sex in my period on my late teens early adult years when we where at it like rabbits lol but these days I prefer not too , might do it on the last day if it’s just spotting if I’m feeling a bit horny

Amybelle88 · 10/12/2023 22:31

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

ToThineOwnSelf · 10/12/2023 22:31

Anyone seen Saltburn?! 🧛‍♀️

BumpyaDaisyevna · 10/12/2023 22:31

Mine have always been quite light so I don't think there would be flooding issues.

In the early days we definitely did. TBH I found it quite sexy that he didn't care one jot about it.

Nowadays the day before and first couple of days I'm not really in the mood and it doesn't happen.

But on the last day or second to last day, I can almost feel then hormonal switch flick in my brain and I start thinking "hmmm...wouldn't say no" ... again.

Momof2soonmomto3 · 10/12/2023 22:34

Mine only last 3 days and i only tend to have 1 heavy day and my periods are every month and half so dont mind waiting 4/5 days without as i like to make sure im finished finished first as im very paticular about being smelly down there i could never 🤭

CauliflowerBalti · 10/12/2023 22:34

Not with my current partner. I would, but he won’t and that’s absolutely fair enough.

My ex wasn’t at all bothered. I can remember the first time we had sex during my period. We were kissing, it got heavier, I told him I was on my period and he carried on. Started moving his kisses down my body to oral sex which made me a bit anxious so I wriggled down the bed back to face level with him and he said, “are you going to take that tampon out, or am I?”, snapped his teeth like a crocodile and laughed.

Reader, I SHOT to the bathroom. Absolutely no way was someone else removing a tampon.

So I’m not all in. I have period boundaries. But it was refreshing to be with a man that really just didn’t care. So if your husband is up for it, give it a go. It’s extraordinarily destigmatising - and I didn’t realise I had hang ups really.

gotomomo · 10/12/2023 22:35

Not an issue once they got super light (thanks mirena) but before, no

CompanyisComing · 10/12/2023 22:35

FreshWinterMorning · 10/12/2023 22:25

Urgh no! Confused Sex is messy enough as it is, without adding period waste to the party. How foul. 🤮 As pps have said, it's smelly too!

Why, just WHY would anyone do this? Shock

Umm, because my partner and I are both very comfortable with each others bodies, we enjoy the physical and emotional intimacy, and we don’t find anything about each other “foul”. Why is my period blood any more disgusting than his semen or sweat?

Yes, sex can be messy, especially good sex, but we’re thankfully both waterproof, washable and sex-positive, so it’s not a problem.

Siha345 · 10/12/2023 22:35

I only do it if I can be bothered with the clean up. I remember doing it as a teen and when we turned on the light it looked like the poor guy had been in a massacre, it was up the top of his arm and across his forehead 😅. I find the extra wetness very useful as I suffer with dryness but it can be uncomfortable if I’m cramping because I have a low cervix. I actually find the last few days are when I’m least likely to do it (the opposite of some on here) as mine tends to be brown then which I don’t find that sexy

BlazingJune · 10/12/2023 22:36

Are these women having 'real' periods or light bleeds on the Pill?

Currently having a heavy period, a bit like a waterfall on Day 1, with cramps.

The idea of sex - you've got to be joking.

Apart from the f act the bed would look like a scene from a chain saw massacre, I can't think why I'd want any man near me.

heartofglass23 · 10/12/2023 22:36

endofthecorridoor · 10/12/2023 22:02

I think the ladies who do maybe use a menstrual cup which makes it much less messy

Ouch!

Please no one attempt this!

SgtJuneAckland · 10/12/2023 22:37

I did once when DH and I had first moved in together, it was like a crime scene, blood everywhere, he had to strip the bed after while I was in the shower which killed the mood somewhat and part way through I noticed DH had blood on his arm, it wasn't for me. Couldn't relax properly either.

SkySecret · 10/12/2023 22:38

I do, and have with several partners including current DP (we did it last night actually). Many women are hornier during their period and in one of them, so it’s nice to be able to answer the call so to speak! Fling a dark coloured towel down and crack on! It’s better if it’s not the first couple of days when I’m heavier, but if that’s when it happens then so be it!

Wouldn’t it stink and that aswell? 🤢

@Keilagh erm…. no 🫤 if your period stinks you probably need to see someone about it. Periods don’t smell of anything at all.

Peablockfeathers · 10/12/2023 22:38

If we do then we do in the shower, each to their own and all that though! I'd suspect there's more women who don't than who do.

Iwant2beJessicaFletcher · 10/12/2023 22:39

DH wants to, I don't. So we haven't! Been together over 20 years & it's not something I've ever been interested in

CompanyisComing · 10/12/2023 22:39

LBFseBrom · 10/12/2023 22:29

I have, when younger, but never felt entirely comfortable about it because of the mess. I think it is good to have a time without sex, a special time in which one can show respect and consideration, and it's all the nicer when the period is finished. Those who feel they have to have sex during a period strike me as rather lacking in self control and don't have much else to think about.

Nahhh, we are just pleasure seekers.

In the words of Bikini Kill; “I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe”.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 10/12/2023 22:39

Totally. Towel on bed. It’s a natural thing really so we’re not fussed about it etc - to each his own tho.

Discospacecherry · 10/12/2023 22:39

No because have terrible pain due to adenomyosis. I also have a very heavy clotty flow. So it's like a hemorrhage. None of this makes me feel very much like sex either.

I do also wonder about the non penetrative bits of sex which are really a big part of me. Oral and touching are going to result in bloody hands and mouth or do people just leave those bits out? In which case it sounds less enjoyable. But if you can and don't have periods like mine then fair enough.

Peablockfeathers · 10/12/2023 22:40

Periods don’t smell of anything at all.

But blood does have a smell, it doesn't smell of nothing at all but it shouldn't smell foul or overly strong.

JoanOfAllTrades · 10/12/2023 22:42

I wouldn’t but Mr Joan said he doesn’t see why not!

Strange how this has never come up before in all our decades of marriage 😂