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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have sex on your period

324 replies

Toothurtyoclock · 10/12/2023 21:47

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

OP posts:
BananaSplitsss · 10/12/2023 21:59

This isn’t for us either . Blood: the sight , smell , mess etc , despite being perfectly natural, doesn’t float either of our boats, especially in the throes of passion.

Gives me the ick. Makes him limp.

Nah. We can wait a week absolutely.

TooManyAnimals94 · 10/12/2023 22:00

I get really horny on my period and whilst I avoid when it's heaviest, I find I'm actually more sensitive and have orgasms easier 🤷

Delphina17 · 10/12/2023 22:00

You do whatever you're comfortable with, surely? Doesn't matter what anyone else does. There are no rules about what you do or don't do on your period.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 10/12/2023 22:01

Hell no from me and DH.

namechangeforthisy · 10/12/2023 22:02

Yes I do and I have done with every partner .. including my first ever sexual partner. I remember with him (we were teens) we used condoms though as I guess he was grossed out a bit. None of the other ones (older, more mature) have had a problem. I would not do it on the heavy flow and achey days but the lighter days are fine and partners have always been happy/up for it!
I wouldn't receive oral though.

endofthecorridoor · 10/12/2023 22:02

I think the ladies who do maybe use a menstrual cup which makes it much less messy

Leo227 · 10/12/2023 22:02

not if I'm crazy heavy but otherwise I have if i know I've just got out the shower and so everything stays relatively tidy.

zeibesaffron · 10/12/2023 22:03

Yes always have, not if feeling unwell with it - but certainly day 3/4 onwards.

Ohchristmastree23 · 10/12/2023 22:03

No thanks! Just wait a few days. Why deal with the extra mess?!

Mischance · 10/12/2023 22:03

I have got rid of my uterus - thank goodness.

But before that all my periods were great floods and mega painful. No way would it have been even remotely possible - I was having to use two large tampons plus pads and still having to get up and change the sheets in the night sometimes. Sex was the last thing on my mind!

Spaghettieis · 10/12/2023 22:05

I’ve never let it stop me, although my periods aren’t very heavy. We just use a condom which limits the messiness. I’m sure I read somewhere that orgasms can actually help relieve period pain.

ThaTrìCaitAgam · 10/12/2023 22:05

Yes! A big towel spread over the bed and go!

I can’t imagine not having sex during my periods. It really isn’t an issue for us.

Latenightmess · 10/12/2023 22:06

Clearly people that can even consider this as an option don't have heavy bleeding let alone clotting.....

stepintochristmas1 · 10/12/2023 22:07

Some women are funny about it , some men are squeamish about it . We never cared .

Tangled123 · 10/12/2023 22:07

Did it once just to see what it would be like but didn’t enjoy it enough to want to repeat the experience.

Beginningless · 10/12/2023 22:08

endofthecorridoor · 10/12/2023 22:02

I think the ladies who do maybe use a menstrual cup which makes it much less messy

No way my vagina could accommodate both my menstrual cup and a willy! I can’t imagine anyone would do that. Would be similar to having sex with a tampon in.

lemonjam · 10/12/2023 22:08

Not the first 3ish days, too heavy and uncomfy, but the last lighter couple. Sex is a bit messy anyway is it not!

Bluelightbaby · 10/12/2023 22:09

I never had sex on the first two days but did have sex on the other days with my ex.

new partner it’s a total no go unless 100% clear so like two days after I’ve finished to make sure !

Dogcatmousedog · 10/12/2023 22:09

I never did .

jernport · 10/12/2023 22:10

Yes, I have a high sex drive so wouldn't want to miss out just because I'm on my period! I've never had painful periods. I use a menstrual sponge so there's never any mess.

ForlTonightlGodlIslalDJ · 10/12/2023 22:11

It's like a blood bath as it is the first two days of my period so you just wouldn't go there lol. Maybe the last day where it's wearing off something like that.

LK2610 · 10/12/2023 22:13

Not on the first 1-3 days as it’s too heavy but yes after. I also get most horny when on my period - not sure why, must be a hormone thing. We also do it in the shower which makes it a lot more hygienic (and fun!). The guys I’ve felt most secure with are the ones who aren’t grossed out by it, and are comfortable doing it or not. It’s only a period at the end of the day. As long as you’re clean about it, why should you miss out if you’re feeling up for it.

Allfur · 10/12/2023 22:13

How could you have penetrative sex with a silicon cup in?

skyfalldown · 10/12/2023 22:14

Yes, including oral, never had any complaints

Torganer · 10/12/2023 22:15

Yes, it’s never been an issue. Sex is pretty messy anyway! But who cares? You’re not having sex with these women on MN, so just do what you fancy.