To ask if you have sex on your period

[Toothurtyoclock]

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

Periods are 100% natural, I agree.

Men being happy to lick and swallow menstrual blood = not so natural.

There are lots of natural bodily functions that I don’t want my lips, face and tongue near to be honest….

There’s a reason most gay men douche afterall, just like men and women prefer to do so before anal sex. And I’m not likening anal sex to period sex, I’m just making the point that there are some ‘natural’ waste products that just don’t need to be a part of sex. Especially orally 😂

If having those views means I’m recoiling from something that is totally natural and it makes me no better than a teenage boy in terms of maturity well that’s a label I’m happy to live with 😂

My DH isn’t squeamish and wouldn’t have an issue with it, but some people really do struggle with the sight of blood! I’m one of them and if I were gay would not want intimacy with a female partner if she were having a period. The sight of blood induces anxiety for me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s a bit like some women’s partner’s not wanting to be down the ‘business end’ while they’re giving birth. Some people are squeamish and you can’t really reason that away. My H watched my births with great interest and no ‘ick’ but we’re not all the same.

I do sometimes before it's 100% finished but only towards the very end of the period.
Each to their own.

BTW - for those who couldn’t tell, I’m completely on the wind-up 😂

Everyone is free to do as they wish 👍

Although I will say that just because a man doesn’t want to participate in menstrual sex (oral or otherwise) that doesn’t mean he’s an immature teenager or that he’s not appreciative of a woman’s femininty 🙄

I promise I’m not. It just is a totally normal part of my sex life and has been through several partners over the last 20 years.

It’s not like we are going about purposely drinking cups of menstrual blood… there isn’t that much flowing out usually anyway 🤷‍♀️.

‘No, not at all. I just prefer men who are genuinely attracted to women in all their femininity and aren't squeamish about a bit of a blood.’

as a gay woman I’m always surprised about how squeamish some men seem to be ( according to my straight friends) about women’s bodies and bodily functions, or how they seem to want to dictate about how it should look - the shaved pubes thing etc

I can’t imagine dictating what another woman should be doing with her lady garden! Nor being anything other than grateful for just getting to be there in the first place e…

Watched Saltburn in the cinema with a row of about 10 girls behind us, probably 16/17 in age. And god, the squeamishness from them during the sex scenes! It was funny at first but we eventually had to turn around and tell them to shut up!
clearly none of them had much experience of actual sex…

This is interesting thread, the replies really seem to be along the lines of women who do being kinda pressed at women who don't.

I'm not sure on this all natural talk either. I mean there's loads of things that are normal and natural I don't want in my my mouth or hands like shit for example.

Menstrual blood isn’t full of bacteria etc and doesn’t smell much at all, unlike poo.

It doesn’t do you any harm to come into contact with it (blood borne illness aside)-

it’s much more akin to semen than excreta. It’s created by the reproductive system, not the waste system!

That’s not to say people have to be ok to have period sex- people should only have the sex they want when they want it… its fine to enjoy or not any element!

Some of the replies here wow!
Do it if you like, ddon't if you don't..
But stop calling it 'gross' 'yuck' or 'dirty'
It's none of those things. Saying its not for you is fine you don't need to insult anyone.
Similarly people are not uptight for not liking it, some women have heavy painful periods and very much would not want sex at that time. We are all different.
As for me I do enjoy sex on my period. Even tho I do bleed heavily I get a rush of hormones and am more up for it than usual at this time. I've never received oral when I'm in full flow but I wouldn't be against it at all.. I'm not that into oral on me generally tho.. I'm the wierdo who likes fingers lmao I always feel like a wierdo about it coz you always see memes about how awful men are at fingering and how great oral is...but I find the exact opposite.. I just don't like the softer sensation of oral. Anyway I just mean to say that's why it's never come up as an issue.. because I don't really like it anyway not coz I'd have any problem with the blood.
For me I just think sex is often messy anyway. What's honestly the big difference in getting semen on you or swallowing that.. and menstrual blood?
We live in a modern era of washing machines and showers.. it's all easily and painlessly cleaned up. Why let worry about clean sheets or getting substances on your skin effect your sex life? Yeah sometimes it looks like someone's been murdered afterwards but that can be quite funny.
Anyway you do what you want. There's no need to be ashamed about this either way. Lots of people enjoy it, lots of people don't. I'd say it's pretty normal

surely it is nice to have a break sometimes

...why?

I wondered that… I don’t get bored of my wife or feel the need to have a break to somehow make it better afterwards.

In the course of my work, a prostitute once told me they insert sponges so they can carry on working when having a period. Sometimes they can't get the sponges out and have to got to A&E. True fact.

😮😳😳

I've heard that about sponges and prostitution, too. Sounds risky.

Each to their own but not for me thanks. My DH would definitely not want to even if offered.

Some really immature responses on both sides in this thread! Can’t we just accept that different people like different things without being nasty?

FWIW I generally don’t want to the first couple of days when I'm heaviest, but after that I’m fine to and there’s hardly any mess then. I don’t feel compelled to, bit sometimes I fancy it. We generally don’t go more than a few days without, cos we both really enjoy it. But yeah- sex is messy anyway!

I went to a prostitute as a patient who stuff baby wipes inside herself to stop period and used as contraceptive!!!!!

In my relationship I'm happy to give oral but not swallow and my dh is happy to have period sex but not give me oral at that time, and we've both decided we can live with that and respect each other's boundaries. Every sexual relationship is unique and it should all be about consent and both parties feeling comfortable. I'd never try to pressure him into doing something he didn't want to do because "periods are natural." And to be honest I'd probably rather ask him for a hot water bottle and some chocolate anyway.

I do when I feel like it! Put a couple towels down and all is fine. It's great particularly at the beginning, I find it massively lessens my cramps!

Not oral, but otherwise yes, absolutely. Done well, the orgasm really helps with sore boobs and cramps (not sure why but it does), and promotes a great night’s sleep. It’s also really, really, intimate and makes me feel very close to my partner. The trick is to start very slowly - a massage is amazing, and so relaxing. It makes me feel very cared for.

My top tips for ladies would be.....

Buy a mooncup and its perfectly fine to have sex with it in (been doing it for 12yrs), it just gets pushed a bit higher up, it doesn't hurt and if you empty it out before you start having sex it doesn't tend to leak.

Has anyone heard of a period towel/sheet, they are made out of period panties fabric to throw on the bed, it resembles a throw and they seem to be new and advertised on FB and insta and out of stock, I havent got one, but I would buy one at some stage.

For those with heavier periods, you might consider "balancing your hormones" via reflexology once a month and if you get period pains take "mefenamic acid" is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) used to treat mild to moderate pain via your GP, that sorts you out. Its actually not natural to suffer when you are on your period, its your bodies way of telling you that something isn't functioning correctly and you should find out how to get it rectified, perhaps via a naturopath?

For those that get hormonal acne, just stop eating dairy, give it a month and you'll see a huge difference (butter and ghee will be fine to consume).

I don't mind having sex on my period, infact I had incredible sex the other day on day 1 of my period with my mooncup in. I couldn't be with a guy long term who thought it weird to not have sex on your period.

Hooverme, at 16/17, quite possibly most were virgins, so I can see why some of the scenes were a bit much, give them a break!

This is such shit. I have endometriosis a neuropath isn't sorting that out hun. So fucking offensive.

Every sexual partner I've ever had never gave a shiny flamingo about me being on my period. Hell, they've even been happy to go down on me.