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Original poster

DH at woman's house after Xmas night out

384 replies

YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:24

My DH was on his Xmas night out tonight. Started quite early and he said he'd be home about 11pm - did and does not matter to met at all that he decided to extend it to a big night.

I text at 1.50am to check all was okay, and he asked me to call him asap.

As I understand it, one of the women got so incredibly drunk that she was very ill and unsafe. Spewing and falling over as she made her way into a taxi. My DH has gone home with her to check she was okay

She's now passed out on her floor, having been sick everywhere. He says he's covered in her sick. He doesn't want to leave her because she lives alone and he's not sure that she's safe.

He thinks he should stay until morning,or until she wakes up at least.

What would your DH do in that situation?

OP posts:
Minihippyme89 · 10/12/2023 02:25

I’d tell him to get his backside up the road now

Haggisfish3 · 10/12/2023 02:26

Stay and make sure she was safe. Or call a friend or medical help.

Mangotango39 · 10/12/2023 02:27

Oh this is a tough one - not actually sure what I'd advise - perhaps try someone in her phone?
he shouldn't have to babysit but then if something did happen..... :/

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/12/2023 02:29

I think he'd be incredibly stupid and naive to stay with her alone overnight. Does he have anyone else's number he can call to stay over as well?

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 10/12/2023 02:30

That is a though one. He shouldn't have to babysit her but I feel he is doing the right thing in staying to make sure she's safe.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 10/12/2023 02:33

My dh would stay - do you trust your dh?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 10/12/2023 02:33

How well do they know eachother?
Is she likely to be frightened by him being there when she wakes up either still drunk or hungover?
Honestly, i'd try to go through her phone and text/call someone close who is female to come and stay with her. I wouldn't want a woman waking up in that kind of state alone with my partner in her house, and potentially making accusations that hes sexually assaulted/raped her because she has no memory of what has happened and how she got home and why he's there. Even if she didn't really believe anything had happened, some women do lie to save face out of embarrassment of the state they got in, or worse, just for attention.

whyamiawakestill · 10/12/2023 02:34

My DH would stay to make sure she was safe and if I was her I'd be so grateful.

Unless you have reason to not trust him, he's called you told you the situation and is being lovely.

On the side of caution though I thinking insists she has a female friend as well, just so he doesn't get any accusations?? God knows it's a tricky one.

Maybe as another poster suggested look on her phone for contacts and see if anyone lives close?

Original poster
YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:34

tennesseewhiskey1 · 10/12/2023 02:33

My dh would stay - do you trust your dh?

A million per cent. Just feel bad for him sat up, covered in her sick, watching her snore.

I've just called and she's passed out on her hall floor. He's going to try and wake her up and get her into her bed and, if it looks like she has got it out her system and just needs to sleep it off, he's going to come home.

What a dreadful end to a night out!

OP posts:
PeopleAreWeird · 10/12/2023 02:38

Christ. I would be tempted to leave her
Not go into a bedroom with her

Original poster
YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:38

He can't get into her phone and she's not able to articulate someone to call.

Maybe all wives would say this, but anyone who knows him would laugh if anyone accused him of anything. He's the guy you want to take you home on a night like this - he genuinely is full of integrity.

Added complication that it's the night out of the team he used to work with until Sept. He worked with them for about three years - excellent relationships, lots of mutual respect, no hint of anything untoward ever. I think she'll be mortified come morning, but not accuse him of anything. It's just not plausible, if you knew him .

OP posts:
Original poster
YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:41

PeopleAreWeird · 10/12/2023 02:38

Christ. I would be tempted to leave her
Not go into a bedroom with her

Wood it not be awful to leave her passed out on the hall floor, in her own sick though?

OP posts:
Tangled123 · 10/12/2023 02:49

Are you able to go round yourself OP? Use the excuse of bringing him a change of clothes but it will also be an alibi if any accusations did come after.

DarkDuvet · 10/12/2023 02:54

Tangled123 · 10/12/2023 02:49

Are you able to go round yourself OP? Use the excuse of bringing him a change of clothes but it will also be an alibi if any accusations did come after.

Yes to this. He’s putting himself in a vulnerable situation

Original poster
YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:56

I have three kids in the house. Older (16, 14, 12), so I could leave a message on the family WhatsApp so they don't panic. I'll suggest that now

I'll call and offer this. I spoke to him 10m ago and he's was trying to rouse her and get her up and it was just totally failing. I've said he shouldn't leave whilst she's like that because he'd feel awful if something happened to her if left alone.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 10/12/2023 02:57

He should do what he feels is right, he doesn't need another grown up to decide for him

Gowlett · 10/12/2023 02:57

This happened to a guy at my work. He was in a total state. We brought him back to the office, which was nearby. Stripped him down ti his boxers & lay him on the floor. Had to phone his wife, and she had to get a cab over to collect him. But we were there with him while he was vomiting. It was grim…

flowerchild2000 · 10/12/2023 03:01

The danger would her choking on her own vomit, if she's laid in the bed especially.

Rafting2022 · 10/12/2023 03:03

If he’s so full of integrity OP why the misleading title hinting at something untoward?

OftIwandered · 10/12/2023 03:04

Lovely to read a post that isn't full of drama from the OP. Obviously it's not great that this woman is so drunk but she has been taken home by a sensible, decent person who is trying to work out the best way to take care of her.

wanttogetadvice · 10/12/2023 03:07

does he have a female colleague who can come and look after her?

Behindyouiam · 10/12/2023 03:11

Rafting2022 · 10/12/2023 03:03

If he’s so full of integrity OP why the misleading title hinting at something untoward?

It's factual, not misleading.

I'd go over if you can OP!

What a sore head she's going to have!

thebestinterest · 10/12/2023 03:16

wanttogetadvice · 10/12/2023 03:07

does he have a female colleague who can come and look after her?

This. I’d call a female colleague or some police/health service tbh.

in either case, she should be turned onto her side and placed in the recovery position.

PeopleAreWeird · 10/12/2023 03:18

Ring an Ambulance

He cant be expected to stay with her ‘just in case’

She a grown adult who chose to drink until she was so drunk she was out of control

thebestinterest · 10/12/2023 03:18

DarkDuvet · 10/12/2023 02:54

Yes to this. He’s putting himself in a vulnerable situation

Show quote history

Also this. I’d call round tbh.

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