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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH at woman's house after Xmas night out

384 replies

YouBelongWithMe · 10/12/2023 02:24

My DH was on his Xmas night out tonight. Started quite early and he said he'd be home about 11pm - did and does not matter to met at all that he decided to extend it to a big night.

I text at 1.50am to check all was okay, and he asked me to call him asap.

As I understand it, one of the women got so incredibly drunk that she was very ill and unsafe. Spewing and falling over as she made her way into a taxi. My DH has gone home with her to check she was okay

She's now passed out on her floor, having been sick everywhere. He says he's covered in her sick. He doesn't want to leave her because she lives alone and he's not sure that she's safe.

He thinks he should stay until morning,or until she wakes up at least.

What would your DH do in that situation?

OP posts:
TheSuggestedAmendment · 11/12/2023 15:21

Cas112 · 11/12/2023 12:42

This is now on the daily mail

Please leave a link! I can’t find it

Walkaround · 11/12/2023 17:10

burnoutbabe · 11/12/2023 08:24

Also what are the stats of

Women being raped or assaulted after an Xmas party

People (men or women) dying after Xmas party from choking (as opposed to crossing a road drunk or falling down stairs).

I assume the first happens far more than the second (and people only seem to care about a very narrow type of danger rather than the many dangers drunk men and women face)

According to Drinkaware, 552 people died of acute alcohol poisoning in 2020, so that’s purely people who drank enough alcohol to go into a coma and to die from the toxicity, rather than, eg, choking on vomit.

StmMary · 11/12/2023 17:54

Our son always says to us when he's out and about in town. If you see a drunken woman. Be careful. Because they could Blaime you for alsorts you haven't done. Never be alone with her.
My husband ex taxi driver wouldn't take a sole drunken woman or man in his taxi ifthey're sick he's off work. Plus most taxi drivers would do the same. They'd call the police.. Ambulance..
I'm sorry but I don't think he's telling you the full story.

newtoallthisshizzle · 11/12/2023 18:14

This is a tough one. I was about to do same with a female colleague who got completely plastered but was really not happy about being with someone so ill (I have no idea what to do witn someone unconscious). In the end I called an ambulance which thankfully was correct as she spent the next week in hospital due to alcohol poisoning.

So I’d probably be ok with it (your DP making sure she’s ok) if she’s not Unconscious. If she is, I’d make him call an ambulance and try contacting a female colleague/friend of hers to relay the necessary information. Good luck!

Matildalamp · 11/12/2023 18:16

You have a lovely husband, as are you! Leaving someone alone who is so sick is dangerous. Vomit and choke on it alone, and that can be it. You both absolutely did the right thing.

LalaPaloosa · 11/12/2023 18:25

I would believe he took her home in a taxi because she was too drunk and sick. A male and female colleague both did this for another female colleague after she had too many drinks and passed out in a bar. They didn’t feel they could leave her. We heard all about it and the £100+ taxi fare.

However, it’s the staying over there and not coming home that would make me suspicious. She’s home and safe in her house and if she was vomiting everywhere she would probably be mortified to find a male colleague in her house. I’d be suspicious that he made the sick story up to cover up going home with this woman and sleeping with her.

LalaPaloosa · 11/12/2023 18:28

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/12/2023 02:29

I think he'd be incredibly stupid and naive to stay with her alone overnight. Does he have anyone else's number he can call to stay over as well?

I didn’t even think about it from that angle, but you’re right! She could accuse him of anything.

Tribblesarelovely · 11/12/2023 18:34

I wouldn’t be happy with him staying alone with her, possibly all night, not because of worrying he’d be unfaithful, but he’s placing himself in a very vulnerable position. What if she wakes up tomorrow and accuses of some kind of assault ?

Grannyto2 · 11/12/2023 18:35

If she was sick would the taxi driver have let her in his taxi ? I'm a bit suspicious

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2023 18:36

Tribblesarelovely · 11/12/2023 18:34

I wouldn’t be happy with him staying alone with her, possibly all night, not because of worrying he’d be unfaithful, but he’s placing himself in a very vulnerable position. What if she wakes up tomorrow and accuses of some kind of assault ?

The thread was started in the early hours of yesterday morning. Things have moved on. RTFT.

Turquoise123 · 11/12/2023 18:37

What else can he do ? He can’t leave her?

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2023 18:38

Grannyto2 · 11/12/2023 18:35

If she was sick would the taxi driver have let her in his taxi ? I'm a bit suspicious

If you RTFT you will see that the OP was mistaken about the taxi and in fact they got a lift in a colleague's new car. The OP went over to the woman's home to help her DH yesterday morning.

RenoDakota · 11/12/2023 18:57

Some major not-reading-the-thread going on here!

Behindyouiam · 11/12/2023 19:00

LalaPaloosa · 11/12/2023 18:25

I would believe he took her home in a taxi because she was too drunk and sick. A male and female colleague both did this for another female colleague after she had too many drinks and passed out in a bar. They didn’t feel they could leave her. We heard all about it and the £100+ taxi fare.

However, it’s the staying over there and not coming home that would make me suspicious. She’s home and safe in her house and if she was vomiting everywhere she would probably be mortified to find a male colleague in her house. I’d be suspicious that he made the sick story up to cover up going home with this woman and sleeping with her.

Oh dear........

Don't apply for any detective positions.

Ramalangadingdong · 11/12/2023 20:13

LalaPaloosa · 11/12/2023 18:25

I would believe he took her home in a taxi because she was too drunk and sick. A male and female colleague both did this for another female colleague after she had too many drinks and passed out in a bar. They didn’t feel they could leave her. We heard all about it and the £100+ taxi fare.

However, it’s the staying over there and not coming home that would make me suspicious. She’s home and safe in her house and if she was vomiting everywhere she would probably be mortified to find a male colleague in her house. I’d be suspicious that he made the sick story up to cover up going home with this woman and sleeping with her.

Except that the wife turned up at the house to pick him up.

Ramalangadingdong · 11/12/2023 20:17

Grannyto2 · 11/12/2023 18:35

If she was sick would the taxi driver have let her in his taxi ? I'm a bit suspicious

She was driven to her home by a couple. She was sick all over their new car. Op’s husband stayed with her while the couple drove home - probably traumatised by all the sick in their car, otherwise they probably would have stayed with her too. Anyway, it’s all resolved now.

LalaPaloosa · 11/12/2023 21:01

Behindyouiam · 11/12/2023 19:00

Oh dear........

Don't apply for any detective positions.

Show quote history

😂

CagneyAndLazy · 11/12/2023 21:48

Tribblesarelovely · 11/12/2023 18:34

I wouldn’t be happy with him staying alone with her, possibly all night, not because of worrying he’d be unfaithful, but he’s placing himself in a very vulnerable position. What if she wakes up tomorrow and accuses of some kind of assault ?

A lot of people have said the same thing.

Is this really where we are now? We think so little of our own sex that we assume any woman might just decide to accuse an innocent man of assaulting her for no reason?

Bignanny30 · 11/12/2023 22:07

Maybe someone spiked her drink. That’ll put your DH in an even trickier position.

Behindyouiam · 11/12/2023 22:14

Bignanny30 · 11/12/2023 22:07

Maybe someone spiked her drink. That’ll put your DH in an even trickier position.

Maybe the whole thing was resolved hours ago.....

Cece92 · 11/12/2023 22:23

At least there's are some decent humans out there. Xxx

Bignanny30 · 11/12/2023 22:25

Yeah I realised after I’d posted and u went back through the thread !

Bobbotgegrinch · 11/12/2023 22:49

CagneyAndLazy · 11/12/2023 21:48

A lot of people have said the same thing.

Is this really where we are now? We think so little of our own sex that we assume any woman might just decide to accuse an innocent man of assaulting her for no reason?

Show quote history

Doesn't need to me a woman, in my case it was a vindictive bloke who decided I'd cock blocked him by getting someone home safe. He decided to start spreading some malicious rumours about what had gone on.

Noone believed him but it's made me rethink what risks I'm willing to take to help someone else out.

oggie679 · 11/12/2023 23:40

Wow. Your comment is a very telling reflection on you and any current (or past) partner/colleague/family member rather than her.

T1Dmama · 12/12/2023 08:08

banananas1978 · 10/12/2023 11:59

I did not say abandon,i said call the police who would have made sure she is safe either at home or if she is that out of it in a cell where someone has an eye on her.

Ill intentions happen,regularly, and exactly in that scenario where woman is too drunk to fight or know whats going on, there is no 100pcnt knowing that there were no assaults committed when someone is passed out- what if a guy peeps inside a bra ,touches a breast or a thigh inappropriately,etc something the woman wont remember there will be no dna traces and she will never know.

I have never put myself in that situation but if i was foolish even then I personally would not be thankful for a mere aquitance in that situation to be in my home when im passed out,i would rather wake up in a cell and know 100% nothing happened beside making myself look like an idiot.

I can’t believe you are suggesting involving the police…. If and when they turned up she’d then sober up to a drunk and disorderly charge! Fines etc.

id be pretty pissed off if if a friend/work colleague stitched me up like that!

I’d rather wake up fully clothed on my floor with a male colleague I trusted sat on my couch! Of course I wouldn’t want to wake up showered and naked in bed, that would be a daft move.

Women accusing men of rape wrongly is incredibly rare, even rarer if it’s a friend!