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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend getting engaged right after other friend's wedding.

320 replies

toddlermam · 09/12/2023 18:49

I’m curious to who you think is wrong here. For reference I’m neither person in the scenario but I am friends with both and feeling quite in the middle of the drama! Hmm

Friend A - had a wedding abroad, beautiful destination. Invited friends and family but understood if others couldn’t make it due to the cost etc. most people ended up coming and all stayed a week or so.

Friend B - came to friend A’s wedding with her boyfriend of 3 years. enjoyed the wedding together and then continued the remaining 3 days on the holiday with the boyfriend. boyfriend proposes on the last night of the holiday, friend says yes, very happy etc

Friend A is angry that it’s taken away the ‘spotlight’, so to speak, and that they’ve got engaged just a few days after the wedding.

Friend B thinks friend A is being unreasonable as this was also their once a year holiday, they spent a lot of money to come to the wedding and the boyfriend was planning to propose on whatever holiday they went on this year anyway.

So what do you think? Is Friend A being unreasonable for being upset?

YABU - Friend A shouldn’t be upset, Friend B is right

YANBU - Friend A is right to be upset about the situation

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 09/12/2023 18:50

Friend A is ridiculous and needs to get over herself

MrsSeveride · 09/12/2023 18:50

Friend A is bonkers, completely self absorbed and needs to have a word with herself.

MissBattleaxe · 09/12/2023 18:50

Friend A is totally unreasonable. She's had her big day. It's not like the BF proposed at their reception.

updownleftrightstart · 09/12/2023 18:51

Friend B has done nothing wrong. It’s not like he proposed during the ceremony!

AtrociousCircumstance · 09/12/2023 18:51

Friend A is being completely crazy.

Lovingitallnow · 09/12/2023 18:51

Team B

Farmageddon · 09/12/2023 18:52

Friend A's wedding is over, there is no spotlight to steal - she's being a ridiculous drama queen.

Pleatherandlace · 09/12/2023 18:52

Friend A is being a dick and needs to get over herself

Uncooperativefingers · 09/12/2023 18:52

Friend A is batshit. She had her day

WhateverMate · 09/12/2023 18:52

I mean clearly it's painfully obvious that friend A is 100% in the wrong and has absolutely no right to tell others what to do on a holiday they've paid for.

What I don't understand is why you can't see this OP?

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 09/12/2023 18:52

Friend A is being ridiculous.

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 09/12/2023 18:52

Friend A is batshit

Justfinking · 09/12/2023 18:53

Friend A is a dick. If it was at the wedding, yes, but the last day if the holiday, no.

IAmAnIdiot123 · 09/12/2023 18:53

If you need yo be told who is unreasonable in this situation you need to give your head a wobble.

Tilllly · 09/12/2023 18:53

It was far enough away from the ceremony

If I were friend A, I'd be wild with excitement

GoodLooking4MyAge · 09/12/2023 18:53

Definitely YABU - Friend A shouldn’t be upset, Friend B is right

Friend A is seems so controlling.

MrsKwazi · 09/12/2023 18:54

Team B too.

She should check her destination wedding privilege! It costs a bomb to attend weddings, never mind a destination wedding, AL, etc.

MythicBish · 09/12/2023 18:54

Friend a is unhinged for that to even have crossed her mind. She sounds like a completely self-absorbed high-maintanance drama queen, it was the last night not at her reception.

Lavender14 · 09/12/2023 18:54

Friend A is absolutely in the wrong. I can understand that it's sad when your wedding is over etc and lots of people get post wedding blues but she's acting very spoilt and should be happy for her friend. I'd understand if he'd proposed on the day of her wedding but a few days later is absolutely fine. FriendA sounds like a lot of drama and tbh this would make me see her in a different light.

MinervatheGreat · 09/12/2023 18:55

Friend A is being pathetic.
Is she still at school?

Good luck to B. I hope she has a wonderful wedding.

RandomUsernameHere · 09/12/2023 18:56

YABU friend A sounds absolutely pathetic

BoredofBlonde · 09/12/2023 18:56

Team Friend B here. Friend A should appreciate how much time and expense people have spent getting to her wedding - WHICH IS OVER AND IS NOW THEIR HOLIDAY!

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 09/12/2023 18:56

Oh for goodness sake! Friend A is being a ridiculous drama llama.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/12/2023 18:56

My SIL (DB’s DW) used to talk like this giving examples of “stealing someone’s thunder”. I’ve never heard of this in my life and unless it’s actually at someone’s wedding that you propose or similar then person A should get over themselves. It’s very petty for A to demand how B and her boyfriend plan their holiday/proposal.

Catza · 09/12/2023 18:56

I don’t see how the two are related. If friend B got engaged in Croydon, would it have made friend A happier? Did they write personally to every wedding guest to inform them of their engagement? How exactly did they steal her spotlight?
Friend A needs to have a long hard look at herself.