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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend getting engaged right after other friend's wedding.

320 replies

toddlermam · 09/12/2023 18:49

I’m curious to who you think is wrong here. For reference I’m neither person in the scenario but I am friends with both and feeling quite in the middle of the drama! Hmm

Friend A - had a wedding abroad, beautiful destination. Invited friends and family but understood if others couldn’t make it due to the cost etc. most people ended up coming and all stayed a week or so.

Friend B - came to friend A’s wedding with her boyfriend of 3 years. enjoyed the wedding together and then continued the remaining 3 days on the holiday with the boyfriend. boyfriend proposes on the last night of the holiday, friend says yes, very happy etc

Friend A is angry that it’s taken away the ‘spotlight’, so to speak, and that they’ve got engaged just a few days after the wedding.

Friend B thinks friend A is being unreasonable as this was also their once a year holiday, they spent a lot of money to come to the wedding and the boyfriend was planning to propose on whatever holiday they went on this year anyway.

So what do you think? Is Friend A being unreasonable for being upset?

YABU - Friend A shouldn’t be upset, Friend B is right

YANBU - Friend A is right to be upset about the situation

OP posts:
ProvisionsOnTheDock · 09/12/2023 18:57

Friend A is being ridiculous!

QueenBean22 · 09/12/2023 18:58

Friend A is being unreasonable.

Smartiepants79 · 09/12/2023 18:58

Not much of a friend.
Can she not just be happy that such a lovely thing happened to her friend?
I wouldn’t have even cared if anyone I loved got engaged at my actual wedding!

fingerguns · 09/12/2023 18:59

Friend A is being utterly ridiculous

PlanetOfTheDogs · 09/12/2023 18:59

A is a fucking nutter!

B should have her wedding on As first anniversary. 🤣🤣🤣

Eybyegum · 09/12/2023 19:00

My sister announced her engagement at my wedding. So what friend B did was fine, much better than at the wedding.

Original poster
toddlermam · 09/12/2023 19:00

I don't know why people are trying to insult me! I completely agree with friend B.

But since I'm in the middle of it all, being a part of the friendship group, I was curious to get an outsiders perspective.

OP posts:
PGmicstand · 09/12/2023 19:00

Friend A is totally unreasonable.
If friend B's boyfriend had proposed during the actual wedding or reception then A would be within her rights to be irked.

FlutteryButterfly · 09/12/2023 19:00

😂😂😂 unanimously friend A is cray cray

10HailMarys · 09/12/2023 19:00

Friend A is an absolute twat

Spacemoon · 09/12/2023 19:00

Friend A sounds like a complete nightmare. Feel sorry for friend B that friend A is trying to put a downer on her happy news.

Also as a sidenote...how was friend B supposed to know her partner was going to propose? It's not like she planned it! Even if it WAS bad to get engaged a few days after someone's wedding (which it obvs isn't)..friend B didn't propose, her partner did. What did friend A want her to do? Say no?

OhGoodie · 09/12/2023 19:00

Friend A sounds like one of those bridezillas focussed more on her one wedding day than her actual marriage. She needs to get over herself. I give her marriage 3 years tops with that attitude.

LinguisticallyCunning · 09/12/2023 19:01

Since the boyf didn't propose at the ceremony, and instead waited a few days or so, then it doesn't matter. At all. If I was the bride at the first wedding, I would be nothing but happy for the couple getting engaged.

BernadetteStBernard · 09/12/2023 19:01

I stopped reading when I realised this is one of those "A did this and then B did that" threads. Just can't deal 😂

Behindyouiam · 09/12/2023 19:01

Friend a is being ridiculous!

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 09/12/2023 19:02

BernadetteStBernard · 09/12/2023 19:01

I stopped reading when I realised this is one of those "A did this and then B did that" threads. Just can't deal 😂

Then why post like a dick?

Catunderling · 09/12/2023 19:03

Team B. It was a good few days after the wedding and they had made a huge effort to attend. If I were A I would be delighted. Once the wedding is over the rest of the couple doesn't have ownership over the rest of the holiday.

Blanca87 · 09/12/2023 19:03

show A this thread to show how batshit she is.

Original poster
toddlermam · 09/12/2023 19:04

how was friend B supposed to know her partner was going to propose? It's not like she planned it!

This was my point. I don't think B is wrong anyway, but regardless she had zero clue she was going to be proposed to! She didn't even have her nails done Grin

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 09/12/2023 19:04

HermioneWeasley · 09/12/2023 18:50

Friend A is ridiculous and needs to get over herself

This. There's nothing else to say really.

SylvieLaufeydottir · 09/12/2023 19:04

Friend A needs to build a stepladder and get over herself.

Mummypete · 09/12/2023 19:05

I was friend B. Friend A couldn’t have been happier for us

BotterMon · 09/12/2023 19:05

Friend A needs to get a grip.

Catunderling · 09/12/2023 19:05

Catunderling · 09/12/2023 19:03

Team B. It was a good few days after the wedding and they had made a huge effort to attend. If I were A I would be delighted. Once the wedding is over the rest of the couple doesn't have ownership over the rest of the holiday.

Soz one too many 'rests'!

Ohtobetwentytwo · 09/12/2023 19:05

I actually think it's pretty piss poor to propose on someone else's wedding celebration.