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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids and Covid test

253 replies

Spencer0220 · 07/12/2023 02:38

I'm just wanting to gauge other people's opinions.

I'm unvaccinated on GP advice. I have a few underlying health issues, don't go out socially often, and multiple GPs in my surgery agreed that vaccination wasn't in my best interests, in part due to my low risk of catching anything.

My husband is fully vaccinated. He also has multiple health conditions.

Ever since Covid tests have been a thing, we've had a rule that anyone visiting, or anyone else we visit, must take a Covid test beforehand. If they don't agree, it's simple: the visit is cancelled.

The ONLY exception to this is my sister's toddler twins who are too young to understand. If they can't test, we accept it. If their dad is at home before a visit, he is usually able to test them. We aren't strict with them because we don't want to traumatise them, plus they don't like cuddles.

We also, if required, happily pay for and supply all tests.

The issue:

My sister and her five children will be at my mum's on Sunday for twins birthday party. Husband and I are going.

Sister tonight said that she will not be able to make DS2 and DS3 test because they don't want to. They are 6 and 9. They have always tested before and I know of no issues. They have clearly been told why they must test.

My mum is begging us to reconsider. I said the boys are old enough to be told to test, and for their mum to simply insist. But DSis thinks it's their right to refuse.

Am I being unreasonable in my unwavering stance that, if they don't test, our visit is off?

DH is adamant he won't go unless all 3 boys are tested.

How about Christmas?

OP posts:
Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:46

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:44

YANBU at all. Just because everyone else has their head in the sand doesn’t mean you need to put your own health at risk.
My 6 y:o will happily test when we go see his nanna - because he understands how important it is we don’t inadvertently take her anything. It’s not difficult. It’s easy. It’s quick.
Its a choice the parents have made.
I would absolutely never dream of not taking a precaution my family had asked for because I love them and want them to be around as long as possible.

Everything is fucked. There’s no masks even in cancer care at the moment. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

And yet we're all living our lives and surviving....

Original poster
Spencer0220 · 07/12/2023 21:47

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:44

YANBU at all. Just because everyone else has their head in the sand doesn’t mean you need to put your own health at risk.
My 6 y:o will happily test when we go see his nanna - because he understands how important it is we don’t inadvertently take her anything. It’s not difficult. It’s easy. It’s quick.
Its a choice the parents have made.
I would absolutely never dream of not taking a precaution my family had asked for because I love them and want them to be around as long as possible.

Everything is fucked. There’s no masks even in cancer care at the moment. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Thank you 💜

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/12/2023 21:49

I don't understand why some people are so reluctant to test now, when tests are so cheap and readily available

Readily available ruddy where? Hmm

tbh I wouldn't test repeatedly for someone refusing to get vaccinated. Just don't go, they'll have a bitch about it and probably not mention you again for the rest of the visit. It's not a big deal.

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:49

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:46

And yet we're all living our lives and surviving....

Show quote history

But are you?

Excess deaths are up.
Heart disease, heart attacks, strokes all up.
Everyone is getting shocking colds because their immune systems are fucked.
Over a million people with long covid.

Covid is a vascular disease that’s spread via a respiratory root.

Heaven knows what multiple re infections will do (apart from cause vaccine escape).

Theres some studies which show it can cause issues with fertility.
Brain inflammation.

We quite happy to play the long game.

Purplerain1144 · 07/12/2023 21:49

If you don't want to visit then don't go but I don't think you have a leg to stand on with being annoyed or forcing children to do tests. FWIW I work in the NHS and we are told not to test and carry on as normal now. Do you ask them to do stool samples for norovirus too during winter???

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:52

Purplerain1144 · 07/12/2023 21:49

If you don't want to visit then don't go but I don't think you have a leg to stand on with being annoyed or forcing children to do tests. FWIW I work in the NHS and we are told not to test and carry on as normal now. Do you ask them to do stool samples for norovirus too during winter???

I mean…..that’s got nothing to do with it being safe to catch Covid or not risk for vulnerable people and everything to do with the NHS being in crisis and short staffed and not able to have people off isolating. Let’s not pretend anything different.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:52

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic yep I am, can't remember the last time I've known anyone test positive for Covid or been unwell with it.

Literally months ago!

Bern to the theatre, full flights, packed tube trains.

Nothing for months.

🤷‍♀️

MintTrackies · 07/12/2023 21:53

Covid is just another winter virus now. Let it go.

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:54

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:52

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic yep I am, can't remember the last time I've known anyone test positive for Covid or been unwell with it.

Literally months ago!

Bern to the theatre, full flights, packed tube trains.

Nothing for months.

🤷‍♀️

That’s because no ones is testing not because it’s not there. Oh my god. How are we still here

Purplerain1144 · 07/12/2023 21:55

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:52

I mean…..that’s got nothing to do with it being safe to catch Covid or not risk for vulnerable people and everything to do with the NHS being in crisis and short staffed and not able to have people off isolating. Let’s not pretend anything different.

Show quote history

I agree but I've had covid twice now. First time Dec 21 completely asymptomatic and had to stay off work for 10 days isolation. So yes I agree we have been told not to test to keep the workforce going but also why is OP suggesting asymptomatic testing when you are very unlikely to spread anyway

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:55

MintTrackies · 07/12/2023 21:53

Covid is just another winter virus now. Let it go.

But it’s not though. It’s not a winter virus. It’s not seasonal. It’s literally the whole year long. With flu you see a few weeks in the winter for the peak. With Covid it’s up and down all year.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:56

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic exactly how are we still here, if Covid is still soooo dangerous and no one is testing, so it must be spreading exponentially and yet here we are living our lives and surviving!

Amazing!

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:57

Purplerain1144 · 07/12/2023 21:55

I agree but I've had covid twice now. First time Dec 21 completely asymptomatic and had to stay off work for 10 days isolation. So yes I agree we have been told not to test to keep the workforce going but also why is OP suggesting asymptomatic testing when you are very unlikely to spread anyway

Show quote history

Because that’s another fallacy.
Low symptoms doesn’t mean no spread.
And there’s no way to know whether asymptomatic or presymptomatic.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:58

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic so how often do you think we should test then?

Daily?

Weekly?

Monthly?

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:58

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:56

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic exactly how are we still here, if Covid is still soooo dangerous and no one is testing, so it must be spreading exponentially and yet here we are living our lives and surviving!

Amazing!

Again.
Lots of people are not surviving.
Or they’re collecting lots of damage they don’t know about.

Purplerain1144 · 07/12/2023 21:59

It's basically just a cold now. I don't know anyone who's been really poorly with it in the past year or so. Just cold symptoms 🤷‍♀️ it's just a virus I don't understand why people are living their lives almost 4y on staying inside and not seeing friends and family. Life is too short !

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:59

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic if they don't know about it, then how do you know about it?

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 21:59

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:58

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic so how often do you think we should test then?

Daily?

Weekly?

Monthly?

When you’re going indoors with a vulnerable person who has asked you.
Especially if that person is family because most people don’t want to make their family ill.

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 22:01

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:59

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic if they don't know about it, then how do you know about it?

Absolutely hundreds of research papers being published on organ damaged caused by Covid.
You can look at the British heart foundation website.
Rise in type 1 diabetes in children.
Covid causes brain inflammation in all children it effects.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:01

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic or you ask the family member to not attend your child's party...

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 22:02

Purplerain1144 · 07/12/2023 21:59

It's basically just a cold now. I don't know anyone who's been really poorly with it in the past year or so. Just cold symptoms 🤷‍♀️ it's just a virus I don't understand why people are living their lives almost 4y on staying inside and not seeing friends and family. Life is too short !

Ah my aunty died of Covid this year. Fully vaxxed. Killed her in 2 weeks. Horrible death.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:02

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic I don't believe brain inflammation is caused by Covid in every child!

So every single child that had Covid is monitored for brain inflammation?

Don't believe it!

Original poster
Spencer0220 · 07/12/2023 22:05

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic so sorry for your loss

OP posts:
Wednesdaysotherchild · 07/12/2023 22:06

YANBU, I’ve got covid #4 at the moment and it’s horrible. Days of a resting heart rate over 100bpm whilst lying in bed, no way is this ‘just a cold’. I’m on anti-virals now. Don’t recommend.

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 22:13

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:02

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic I don't believe brain inflammation is caused by Covid in every child!

So every single child that had Covid is monitored for brain inflammation?

Don't believe it!

Well that’s the problem right there isn’t it.
Every child with Covid isn’t monitored. They don’t even know if they have it/how many times.
There is evidence the initial infection causes brain inflammation.
Unfortunately most of the research and follow ups are on children who were admitted to hospital. Either for the initial infection or as part of long covid assessment and treatment.
Not the general population.
Same with everything.
Which means it will be a longer time until the disease is fully understood.