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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids and Covid test

253 replies

Spencer0220 · 07/12/2023 02:38

I'm just wanting to gauge other people's opinions.

I'm unvaccinated on GP advice. I have a few underlying health issues, don't go out socially often, and multiple GPs in my surgery agreed that vaccination wasn't in my best interests, in part due to my low risk of catching anything.

My husband is fully vaccinated. He also has multiple health conditions.

Ever since Covid tests have been a thing, we've had a rule that anyone visiting, or anyone else we visit, must take a Covid test beforehand. If they don't agree, it's simple: the visit is cancelled.

The ONLY exception to this is my sister's toddler twins who are too young to understand. If they can't test, we accept it. If their dad is at home before a visit, he is usually able to test them. We aren't strict with them because we don't want to traumatise them, plus they don't like cuddles.

We also, if required, happily pay for and supply all tests.

The issue:

My sister and her five children will be at my mum's on Sunday for twins birthday party. Husband and I are going.

Sister tonight said that she will not be able to make DS2 and DS3 test because they don't want to. They are 6 and 9. They have always tested before and I know of no issues. They have clearly been told why they must test.

My mum is begging us to reconsider. I said the boys are old enough to be told to test, and for their mum to simply insist. But DSis thinks it's their right to refuse.

Am I being unreasonable in my unwavering stance that, if they don't test, our visit is off?

DH is adamant he won't go unless all 3 boys are tested.

How about Christmas?

OP posts:
Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:14

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic so no know proof as of yet then?

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 22:14

Hope you feel better soon. Rest well xx

Wednesdaysotherchild · 07/12/2023 22:15

Wednesdaysotherchild · 07/12/2023 22:06

YANBU, I’ve got covid #4 at the moment and it’s horrible. Days of a resting heart rate over 100bpm whilst lying in bed, no way is this ‘just a cold’. I’m on anti-virals now. Don’t recommend.

fyi - My yanbu was re not going.

I am vaccinated btw!

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 22:17

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:14

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic so no know proof as of yet then?

There is proof now for those who have been monitored yes.
The information is out there in places like the Lancet etc.

Its ok. Im going to stop messaging you now because we both know neither of us is going to change our minds.

We’re happy with our decision and you are with yours and that’s all that matters.

jadey1991 · 07/12/2023 22:34

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:33

@jadey1991 so darling what was the relevance of you telling me you were a nurse?

Because ur telling me not to read the daily mail. Anything else to say?

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 22:36

Why do you think you’re at low risk of catching Covid?

Macaroni46 · 07/12/2023 22:39

User1343 · 07/12/2023 08:59

People are generally very anti-covid on here so suggesting anything outside of ‘JUST LET US FUCKING LIVE OUR LIVES’ tends to be met with the kind of hostility you’re getting on here.

Just you do you and ignore the hate you’re getting from some quarters on here.

Fine to do you but don't expect others to acquiesce to your requests. Just as you're doing you, they're doing themselves!

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:40

@jadey1991 you told me you knew because you're a nurse darling! Which is why I said it doesn't make you an expert!

stayathomer · 07/12/2023 22:43

Op I have always gone my own way on this, as in even when guidance said ease up, we watched like a hawk, wore masks, tested etc etc because my mum is EXTREMELY immunocompromised, dh is very immunocompromised and mil has so much wrong with her that anything could upset the balance BUT any of them could also be knocked out by flus, bugs etc and at some point we had to say if there’s symptoms people take a test to rule it out but other than that life is life. Add to this we all (bar one) had Covid in September and three of us tested negative with symptoms then suddenly positive which to me showed that by the time you show up as positive of course it’s helpful but probably too late if you’ve been in contact with someone. Also my son who tested negative got it the worst (Scarily lethargic, headache, spluttery cough, crying with the pain every time he coughed, running nose and vomiting) and now the doctor said probably has a form of long Covid. So you can honestly only do so much. I don’t know if I’m telling you not to go or not but what you’re doing isn’t fair/ sustainable or even helpful

jadey1991 · 07/12/2023 22:44

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:40

@jadey1991 you told me you knew because you're a nurse darling! Which is why I said it doesn't make you an expert!

You have alot to say don't you.
I quoted I was a nurse and if you read my previous messages I quoted that covid tests WILL NOT detect the strain. I was also quoting the fact that knew this because I am a nurse. I haven't given any advice nor have I given any medical advice just stated facts.

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 22:45

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 07/12/2023 22:13

Well that’s the problem right there isn’t it.
Every child with Covid isn’t monitored. They don’t even know if they have it/how many times.
There is evidence the initial infection causes brain inflammation.
Unfortunately most of the research and follow ups are on children who were admitted to hospital. Either for the initial infection or as part of long covid assessment and treatment.
Not the general population.
Same with everything.
Which means it will be a longer time until the disease is fully understood.

Show quote history

Do you think that’s what that week long headache is with Covid ?

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:45

@jadey1991 again darling, I gave as much to say as you do!! I don't think being a nurse makes you an expert?

You treat Covid patients? When was the last time you did that?

jadey1991 · 07/12/2023 22:48

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:45

@jadey1991 again darling, I gave as much to say as you do!! I don't think being a nurse makes you an expert?

You treat Covid patients? When was the last time you did that?

I never claimed to be an expert. I gave op advice just like everyone else. If anything your doing to much.

Yes I do treat covid patients and we I treated three ast week. Patients were quite poorly(as they had other problems aswell as covid)and had to be monitored in icu. And that's all I'll say on that

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:51

@jadey1991 last week you treated three people? Really?

Original poster
Spencer0220 · 07/12/2023 22:54

Wednesdaysotherchild · 07/12/2023 22:06

YANBU, I’ve got covid #4 at the moment and it’s horrible. Days of a resting heart rate over 100bpm whilst lying in bed, no way is this ‘just a cold’. I’m on anti-virals now. Don’t recommend.

Hope you feel better soon and don't have any lasting side effects

OP posts:
TinaYouFatLard · 07/12/2023 23:01

Are there really people who are so self absorbed they haven’t really thought about how children were affected during the covid madness?

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 23:02

TinaYouFatLard · 07/12/2023 23:01

Are there really people who are so self absorbed they haven’t really thought about how children were affected during the covid madness?

Unfortunately.... yes!

TrashedSofa · 07/12/2023 23:03

Yanbu to not go, totally your call. Yabu to presume to tell another parent that they should insist on their DC being tested because you want them to be.

QueenBean22 · 07/12/2023 23:20

That's the part I don't get! As a parent, it's your job and responsibility to make them do stuff they don't like.

@Spencer0220 This makes me feel sick. No, it’s my job to look after their best interests. I can’t believe your sister has gone along with this nonsense up to now.

Tests on children are only supposed to be done on advice from a health professional, and definitely not asymptomatic. This is crazy and very unreasonable on your part

Macaroni46 · 08/12/2023 08:09

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:51

@jadey1991 last week you treated three people? Really?

What's your issue with @jadey1991 ?

User1343 · 08/12/2023 09:00

Macaroni46 · 07/12/2023 22:39

Fine to do you but don't expect others to acquiesce to your requests. Just as you're doing you, they're doing themselves!

Show quote history

Agreed. Maybe I didn’t read the op properly. It just really fucks me off when people say I’m scared of covid so I’m doing xyz and people pile on with hate.

User1343 · 08/12/2023 09:02

Macaroni46 · 08/12/2023 08:09

What's your issue with @jadey1991 ?

Show quote history

Yes @Behindyouiam, pipe down on hounding @jadey1991. And stop with the ’darling’ comments - passive agressive, sexist and condescending.

TrashedSofa · 08/12/2023 09:14

User1343 · 08/12/2023 09:00

Agreed. Maybe I didn’t read the op properly. It just really fucks me off when people say I’m scared of covid so I’m doing xyz and people pile on with hate.

Show quote history

Yeah, I think the issue is expectations of others. People can do what they like, for things that are a personal call like whether to go to an event or not. Or whether to test their own DC or not. For me, one of the more unfortunate lasting effects of covid is the normalisation of people thinking it's their business what health decisions others take. Once that gets switched on, it's difficult to switch back off again, as some of the responses in this thread show.

User1343 · 08/12/2023 09:19

TrashedSofa · 08/12/2023 09:14

Yeah, I think the issue is expectations of others. People can do what they like, for things that are a personal call like whether to go to an event or not. Or whether to test their own DC or not. For me, one of the more unfortunate lasting effects of covid is the normalisation of people thinking it's their business what health decisions others take. Once that gets switched on, it's difficult to switch back off again, as some of the responses in this thread show.

Show quote history

Yeah I agree. But I would add that it’s not just ‘you do you’ as I originally said, but ‘you do you, thinking about what the community at large needs too’. Otherwise we all turn into selfish, navel gazing twats.

Behindyouiam · 08/12/2023 09:36

@User1343 I think you'll find she started the darling comments, so I'm just responding.

Also, seeing as she had a planned c section at the end of November I doubt very much she was treating Covid patients this week.