Page 9 | To think spending £400 on a 4 year old at Christmas is too much?

user6776 · 2023-12-04T20:55:48+00:00

Not a bragging post before I begin and I appreciate we are lucky to have the money to spend. We've already bought DS an iPad which cost £180. This was the "main" present and he will get his use out of it, as he's ASD and it helps to regulate him so I didn't mind forking out for that. Anyway, I was thinking of then setting a remaining budget of £100 for some other bits that he can open - toys, clothes etc. DH was shocked and thought I was being "tight" and suggested we increase the budget to at least £200. He's of the opinion that whatever we see that we think DS might like, that we should buy it and not really have a budget. I told him that's ridiculous and there's no need to buy so much for such a small child! AIBU to think this is too much?

jellybe · 06/12/2023 19:10

Bloody hell I've never spent that much on a child at Christmas. Or my partner. He doesn't understand the cost of things at the moment so why have such a massive budget for him. At that age you can buy them nice things they will like that won't break the bank. Your other half is crazy to want to spend so much, save the money and do some fun Christmas activities with him with that money rather than on stuff he won't even be playing with in a years time.

Lulu1919 · 06/12/2023 19:12

Well if £400 is a months pay for example then yes it's a lot
But if you earn £400 a week and it's affordable then that's your choice .

Sugarfree23 · 06/12/2023 19:28

Lulu1919 · 06/12/2023 19:12

Well if £400 is a months pay for example then yes it's a lot
But if you earn £400 a week and it's affordable then that's your choice .

NMW is £10.42, £400 is a 38hr working week.

Dogcatmousecat · 06/12/2023 19:33

We are fairly comfortable ,but the maximum we have ever spent on the children who are now adults is about £150 each . Definitely a lot less when they were younger.
Too many presents are very overwhelming and not appreciated for the average child .The expensive stuff ie XBox ,bikes ,festival tickets etc were their main present for Birthdays!
I find it absolutely ridiculous spending that amount of money on a 4 year old …would donate to local homeless/ nourish charity and save for driving lessons etc .
Four year old grandchild is getting a bike and a few Frozen themed presents for Christmas from her parents and she will be bloody thrilled . Obviously presents from a few other relatives and that will be enough.

Blankscreen · 06/12/2023 19:53

A decent lightweight bike for a 4 year old is easily £300.

Even a cheap bike from halfords if over £100.

A couple of Frozen presents at circa £25 each and your £150 budget is blown, without even doing a stocking.

A £150 budget when your adult children were young is probably equivalent to more like a £300 budget now.

Pipistrellus · 06/12/2023 20:43

Blankscreen · 06/12/2023 19:53

A decent lightweight bike for a 4 year old is easily £300.

Even a cheap bike from halfords if over £100.

A couple of Frozen presents at circa £25 each and your £150 budget is blown, without even doing a stocking.

A £150 budget when your adult children were young is probably equivalent to more like a £300 budget now.

I bought a good second hand bike for £30. I don't see a reason to buy new, he'll have outgrown it in a couple of years.

Mummyofanonly · 06/12/2023 21:03

Personally I'd rather have a 'spoilt' child who I teach to be grateful, than a child who grows up bitter and resentful because I insisted on only buying them one wooden, second hand, ethical, educational toy 😂

Mummadeze · 06/12/2023 21:15

I think you should get the iPad and a selection of cheap and average priced parcels to unwrap. Seeing a big pile is exciting but you don’t have to have pricey things in all of them. You could have some fidget toy type things and some books for example as well as a couple of bigger toys.

Fightarealfire · 06/12/2023 21:16

Dogcatmousecat · 06/12/2023 19:33

We are fairly comfortable ,but the maximum we have ever spent on the children who are now adults is about £150 each . Definitely a lot less when they were younger.
Too many presents are very overwhelming and not appreciated for the average child .The expensive stuff ie XBox ,bikes ,festival tickets etc were their main present for Birthdays!
I find it absolutely ridiculous spending that amount of money on a 4 year old …would donate to local homeless/ nourish charity and save for driving lessons etc .
Four year old grandchild is getting a bike and a few Frozen themed presents for Christmas from her parents and she will be bloody thrilled . Obviously presents from a few other relatives and that will be enough.

We do far fewer presents on birthdays. We do a trip eg, night in London and the theatre or something like that, and a couple of presents. We also don’t do birthday parties.

Fightarealfire · 06/12/2023 21:20

Mummyofanonly · 06/12/2023 21:03

Personally I'd rather have a 'spoilt' child who I teach to be grateful, than a child who grows up bitter and resentful because I insisted on only buying them one wooden, second hand, ethical, educational toy 😂

Yes, people always think they are bringing up extra grateful, moral people who don’t value ‘stuff’ when they do minimal presents even though they have loads of money, but in my experience they end up with adult children who behave in the opposite way with their own children…

Fightarealfire · 06/12/2023 21:25

Dogcatmousecat · 06/12/2023 19:33

We are fairly comfortable ,but the maximum we have ever spent on the children who are now adults is about £150 each . Definitely a lot less when they were younger.
Too many presents are very overwhelming and not appreciated for the average child .The expensive stuff ie XBox ,bikes ,festival tickets etc were their main present for Birthdays!
I find it absolutely ridiculous spending that amount of money on a 4 year old …would donate to local homeless/ nourish charity and save for driving lessons etc .
Four year old grandchild is getting a bike and a few Frozen themed presents for Christmas from her parents and she will be bloody thrilled . Obviously presents from a few other relatives and that will be enough.

It’s possible to save and give to charity as well as do big Christmas presents.

Mummyofanonly · 06/12/2023 21:25

@Fightarealfire and so they become bitter old grandparents who the grandkids don't like visiting 😏
Buy your kids whatever you want, but OPs original post was regarding a disagreement with DH- I'd let him buy extra if that's what he wants to do!

Fightarealfire · 06/12/2023 21:28

Mummyofanonly · 06/12/2023 21:25

@Fightarealfire and so they become bitter old grandparents who the grandkids don't like visiting 😏
Buy your kids whatever you want, but OPs original post was regarding a disagreement with DH- I'd let him buy extra if that's what he wants to do!

There would be no ‘let’ in my house- we each buy what we think is appropriate. Happily we are both on the same page about it.

Mummyofanonly · 06/12/2023 21:30

@Fightarealfire maybe they could do one year mum sorts it all then the next year dad, I'd love a year off sorting all the presents 😅

MaryShelley1818 · 07/12/2023 00:49

We spend a lot (according to MN) but things are expensive. DS6 has probably had 5-600 in total but £300 of that was a Nintendo Switch with a couple of games, case and memory card. Couple of decent Lego sets and you're over £400 and that's just 3 things. He's also got some books/book collections, a few toys, a hoody, pjs, stocking. So really not a mountain of "tat" and all stuff that will be used.
DD2 has probably had half of the money but the same amount of gifts.
I don't ask friends what they do but I genuinely don't think they spend much different to us with some doing a lot more who have teenagers.

AngelAurora · 07/12/2023 00:51

An IPAD costs way more than £180

lemmein · 07/12/2023 08:03

Daisies12 · 05/12/2023 11:56

Yes way too much. An iPad on its own is more than enough. Teach your kid to be grateful for what they have and make a £200 donation to a charity

So you can contribute to some overpaid CEO's Christmas instead