Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

To think spending £400 on a 4 year old at Christmas is too much?

217 replies

user6776 · 04/12/2023 20:55

Not a bragging post before I begin and I appreciate we are lucky to have the money to spend.

We've already bought DS an iPad which cost £180. This was the "main" present and he will get his use out of it, as he's ASD and it helps to regulate him so I didn't mind forking out for that.

Anyway, I was thinking of then setting a remaining budget of £100 for some other bits that he can open - toys, clothes etc. DH was shocked and thought I was being "tight" and suggested we increase the budget to at least £200. He's of the opinion that whatever we see that we think DS might like, that we should buy it and not really have a budget. I told him that's ridiculous and there's no need to buy so much for such a small child!

AIBU to think this is too much?

OP posts:

StaunchMomma · 04/12/2023 21:31

I don't see why it matters if you have the money, so long as you're buying things you know he'll like.

OnAir · 04/12/2023 21:31

My thoughts are spend less while you can get away with it. The teenage years will be here before you know it and Christmas will be a lot more expensive than the plastic shit and colouring books a 4 year old will ask for. At this age they are equally as happy with things from the pound shop as they are from Harrods save while you can.

AllAroundMyCat · 04/12/2023 21:33

If you have stuff left over to give to charity then you've bought too much.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 04/12/2023 21:33

I wouldn't go overboard.......not because he's 4 or the amount of money. But because he has Autism and too much can be extremely overwhelming for kids who have ASD.

Keep it simple, he'll be a lot happier for it.

Derdiedasdie · 04/12/2023 21:35

I think it depends on what they get the rest of the year. I’ve spent around 400 on my 18 month old - but in my house we get gifts for Christmas and one thing for birthday but not otherwise so I’ve bought things that will take me up to birthday/Christmas next year. Everything is so expensive too. I was surprised at how much we spent - I had a list of what I wanted to get and that’s what it cost.

ActDottie · 04/12/2023 21:35

Way too much but I wouldn’t have even spent £180 on an iPad for a four year old.

OneFrenchEgg · 04/12/2023 21:38

How does an iPad regulate an autistic child? Like a calming strategy to get absorbed in? We had kindle fires which they all liked but I didn't think of it like that, more they just liked them. I used to have to do blanket wraps when they were little, now it's more practicing reminders and mindfulness type stuff. It's hard isn't it?
On the question, I think stay small really, it's just one day! We always did stockings first thing and then one present from us later.

Lovelyjubbbly · 04/12/2023 21:42

it is hard OP I bought my near 6 year old a ps5 for Christmas and because was so expensive it’s hard not to buy more as he won’t have a lot compared to my little girl so I have had to by more probably around another 200/250 as everything is so expensive £50 for trainers tracksuits etc nothing is cheap now!

pinkspeakers · 04/12/2023 21:43

Depends on your overall financial position really. You can do a very nice Christmas for your 4 year old for another £100 and certainly don't need to spend more. You could also spend £200-£300 on some nice things that wouldnt look particularly OTT.

ChiIIieP · 04/12/2023 21:50

I dont think it's about the price tag. The fact that you've got the ipad is what's bumping it up. I at least like my kids to open up a good few presents on Christmas morning as it's what we always done and we absolutely loved it. And for £220 I think you'd get a decent amount of things, but not too much no. Ideally £220 and not the ipad. The ipad maybe would have let him get if he had Christmas money/birthday money off family.

Malarandras · 04/12/2023 21:52

It’s really up to you and what you are prepared to spend I think. Christmas does get more expensive as they get older so bear that in mind is all I would say!

ItsFineImFine · 04/12/2023 21:53

For me £400 is obscene - not because I can’t afford it but just because it is a lot of money. Split the difference and £200 on gifts rest in junior ISA? I think it’s harder as they get older so take with grain of salt as my kids younger

Mynewnameis · 04/12/2023 21:55

But he's had the ipad so it's not a Christmas gift really

idontlikealdi · 04/12/2023 21:57

I could afford it but I think it's too much, we aim for £150ish. If it's a tech item they need eg iPad / laptop for school then that's not a present

LemonLight · 04/12/2023 21:59

Imo £400 is a bit unnecessary! I'd budget £200 max per child but I wouldnt see it as a goal. More that the budget would be there if there was something specific that year DH and I wanted to buy or DC really wanted (and how well behaved they've been 😂). Christmas in my family has a bigger emphasis on games, family traditions and spending time together than it is trying to spend as much money as possible on presents.

Changednayme · 04/12/2023 22:00

Well the 4 year old doesn’t know how much it costs and isn’t responsible for that either and I don’t think he should get less gifts because something he needed due to his disability costed a lot

Fightarealfire · 04/12/2023 22:01

Just spend what you like and can afford. My only rule is I don’t go into debt for it (I don’t have a credit card or an overdraft).

I spend a lot on my son at Christmas, partly because he gets many things, partly because he gets expensive things.

I don’t set a budget, I buy what he wants and will like, as long as I can afford it.

£400 is totally fine if you have £400 to spend.

Notmetoo · 04/12/2023 22:02

I don't think a four year old will understand the cost. Whether it's too much will depend on whether you can afford it and whether yo are buying things he needs and will use

Fundays12 · 04/12/2023 22:03

It's a huge amount and in my view far to much for a 4 year old but as I mean this kindly I would be wary of giving him his own pad. I made that mistake when ds1 who is autistic was 6 and the meltdowns were phenomenal when it was time to come of it because he knew it was his ipad. Autistic children can become very over stimulated quickly as I am sure you know so to much iPad time caused huge behaviour issues and having his own caused more because he couldn't understand why he couldn't use it all the time because it was his. I was relieved when the iPad broke and the next iPad was bought as my iPad that he could occasionally use. This stopped meltdowns over it being his.

Also to many gifts could overwhelm him and make Christmas very stressful rather than enjoyable. I wouldn't go OTT as he is very young but make sure he gets done sensory type toys etc

Booboocars · 04/12/2023 22:09

Not crazy IMO

my daughter (5) got a new £500 ipad last week for homework - we don’t consider this a present as it’s for school / travelling.

Christmas will be a £200 barbie dream house - add Barbie’s, games, Maileg mice, stuffed toys and we are well over £400.

If you are spending £400 on piles of cheap tat from temu etc but quality toys don’t come cheap these days!

Mrsmch123 · 04/12/2023 22:17

I think £400 sounds fine. £200 is already gone on the iPad. Few board games and a few toys and you would be up to not far of £400.

Rareone · 04/12/2023 22:30

If the money equals out to maybe 7-8 gifts I think it’s fine! A 4yo doenst know the value of money and he would be bummed if he only had 1 gift. We are not well off at all but we do go overboard for Christmas (in my opinion) My kids don’t get much bought for them throughout the year so we buy what we think will be used for a long time. If you think he will be overwhelmed put a couple in a sack hidden next to the tree and you can choose if he’s ready to find them

GuitarGeorgina · 04/12/2023 22:33

i think it’s a ridiculous amount for a 4 yo, regardless of whether or not you can afford it. They best thing you could do would be to put the extra £200 in a savings account for when they’re older and really need the money for driving lessons, university, clothes and shoes that cost a fortune, etc

Parker231 · 04/12/2023 22:34

Booboocars · 04/12/2023 22:09

Not crazy IMO

my daughter (5) got a new £500 ipad last week for homework - we don’t consider this a present as it’s for school / travelling.

Christmas will be a £200 barbie dream house - add Barbie’s, games, Maileg mice, stuffed toys and we are well over £400.

If you are spending £400 on piles of cheap tat from temu etc but quality toys don’t come cheap these days!

When did five year old need an IPad for homework - they’ve hardly learnt to write their name?

Booboocars · 04/12/2023 22:36

Parker231 · 04/12/2023 22:34

When did five year old need an IPad for homework - they’ve hardly learnt to write their name?

Show quote history

All my 5 year olds homework is done via apps. Either with online work (sums or online reading books) watching videos or uploading photos of writing.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9