To think spending £400 on a 4 year old at Christmas is too much?

[user6776]

Not a bragging post before I begin and I appreciate we are lucky to have the money to spend.

We've already bought DS an iPad which cost £180. This was the "main" present and he will get his use out of it, as he's ASD and it helps to regulate him so I didn't mind forking out for that.

Anyway, I was thinking of then setting a remaining budget of £100 for some other bits that he can open - toys, clothes etc. DH was shocked and thought I was being "tight" and suggested we increase the budget to at least £200. He's of the opinion that whatever we see that we think DS might like, that we should buy it and not really have a budget. I told him that's ridiculous and there's no need to buy so much for such a small child!

AIBU to think this is too much?

If you can spare the money, stuck with the £100 of presents and.put the other £100 in a savings account for when he is older

You’re buying an iPad for a 4 year old?
-SMH-

£400 would cover our entire Christmas, presents, food, stocking fillers etc included, for all 7 of us plus various other friends & family members
😂

I buy almost everything 2nd hand & am generally thrifty though, so I'm probably out of touch with prices, but I had no idea buying things new had become so expensive.

I'd have spent less on a different brand of tablet and then I'd buy a few bits to unwrap as well as a decent stocking, but wouldn't go crazy. There's nothing wrong with spending what you want to really, however if he won't particularly enjoy any of it then it probably isn't worth it.

Thanks for that @justaboutdonenow I often wonder when I read these posts and people spending £50 on what they are actually getting for that, but you are getting second hand toys! Ah! Thank you.

The '£400 is way too much' argument is just bonkers.

Spending £400...or £800...doesn't mean they're going to be more spoiled than a child whose parents spend less, or that they'll get a huge pile of gifts.

We've spent £450 on a bike for ds3 (6). I could have spent £90 in Argos and got the 'same' (as far as ds will see on Xmas morning anyway). The fact that we spent £450 on it won't make ds any more spoiled than a child whose bike cost a quarter of that. And we have very good reasons for buying the bike we did.

Well.

We have 3 DCs and it varies what we spend each year but at christmas we spoil with what we can affor and never get into debt, we save all year round.

There is no toys throughout the year only essential purchases like clothes etc, Birthdays we maybe spend around £60 on them so christmas we go all out because we want to.

But my 3.5 year old is currently sitting at £460 and thats with some FREE/Hand me down things.

Stuff is expensive, and this is her list for anyone thats interested, and no its not a brag its giving full context to my statement.

DISNEY MERMAID £26.99
MISSY KISSY DOLL £29.99
EASEL £29.99
MAGIC MIXES GENIE £45
MEGAPHONE £4.99
CUTIE CUTS £15
DOLLS PRAM £27.50
KITCHEN £79
DOGGITO £7
SQUIHMALLOW £35
KITCHEN £80
BIKE FREE
LITTLE LIVE MY PUPPY £35
Magic MIXES couldren £18.00
DOLLS HOUSE FREE
DOLLS HOUSE PEOPLE £11
BUCKAROO £16

I don’t think it’s the amount of money, assuming of course that the money is actually there and you wouldn’t be going into debt for it. It’s really about not wanting to overwhelm him with too much stuff. Especially if you’re already bursting at the seams with toys and need a trip to the tip. If you said for example it was the ipad and a new bike because he needed a new one, I don’t think that would be excessive at all even if it came to £500. But piles and piles of stuff just for the sake of it?! Absolutely not, he’ll likely have a worse time for it because it’ll be so overwhelming.

your sitting room must be a sea of presents on Christmas morning if those are the gifts for just one of your three.

Yeah it is, 3 girls aswel so you can imagine albeit my other 2 are older so now more into jammies and skincare etc.

Then it gets quickly cleared up to their rooms in time for 20 people coming for xmas dinner.

I adore Christmas and everything about it 😍

At age 4 I would spend throughout the year, eg clothes etc as they grow. In fact I’ve never had a budget to spend. They get what they need when they get it - and only what they would enjoy at Christmas and birthdays. No kid would enjoy or value too much to open - it would spoil the day and get dull.

I think I'd retreat to the garden shed with a couple of bottles of champagne if I had to cook for 20. 10 is my limit!

Why do you not give them anything during the year? I don't really understand the need to keep it all until Christmas and then go overboard?

How many presents is overwhelming? Can you put a number or guide to how many is too many?

Given the big ticket item is nearly £200 I don't think £300 is an unreasonable sum of money. They need a Santa sack of tat and some general presents under the tree from you to open, that will probably be the best part of £100. If you can afford it and he won't be overwhelmed, why not? 4 year olds see quantity over quality where Christmas is concerned anyway

You sound tetchy.

Maybe have some sugar.

No I can't put a number, because every child is different. Obviously. But the OP's son is autistic and more prone to becoming overwhelmed so maybe fewer is better.

Examples would be:

Board game £10-15
Clothes - c.£40-50
Cars - £2+ each or sets for £8+ each
Football - £12
Art supplies - £10
Selection box - £5
Books - £8+
Lego - name your price!

And that's just off the top of my head things a boy might like

I'll start again on the diet come January given up this year!

Seriously someone always says "too much is overwhelming" but nobody can ever define how many is too much. I've asked the same question on various threads.

For my children too much would be double figures of presents under the tree.

@user6776 if you think their is any risk of him being overwhelmed then remove the clothes unless they are special gifts in there own right ie football straps or something like that.

In most 4yo heads clothes are purely functional regardless of any designer labels or price tags.
Older kids might appreciate nike trainers or Adidas tracksuits for Christmas but at 4 they couldn't care less.

it's not like there's a set number '11 presents and your kid will be bawling'. But I think most people will have seen a young child at Christmas or at their birthday party burst into tears because the situation just becomes a lot for them.

Maybe I'm too stingy buy I've never seen either of my kids burst into tears over gifts - ever!
And I'm still howling in DC1 getting called a spoilt brat on another thread!

Why were they called a spoilt brat?

I don't really care what other people spend on their kids, or assume that kids who get a mega heap of presents are brats. I just personally wouldn't spend £400 on a 4 year old. That's all.

It was on a thread where the Op had been given a wish list from a similar aged boy, nothing was under £50.
I could totally see the issue, media is all streamed, not interested in clothes or books, mine is exactly the same. The 3 things he wants are all over £50. He's turned down a phone for Lego!