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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think spending £400 on a 4 year old at Christmas is too much?

217 replies

user6776 · 04/12/2023 20:55

Not a bragging post before I begin and I appreciate we are lucky to have the money to spend.

We've already bought DS an iPad which cost £180. This was the "main" present and he will get his use out of it, as he's ASD and it helps to regulate him so I didn't mind forking out for that.

Anyway, I was thinking of then setting a remaining budget of £100 for some other bits that he can open - toys, clothes etc. DH was shocked and thought I was being "tight" and suggested we increase the budget to at least £200. He's of the opinion that whatever we see that we think DS might like, that we should buy it and not really have a budget. I told him that's ridiculous and there's no need to buy so much for such a small child!

AIBU to think this is too much?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 04/12/2023 21:16

To compare, I’ve spent around £500 total altogether on 8 year old ds and 10 year old dd

Original poster
user6776 · 04/12/2023 21:17

GotMooMilk · 04/12/2023 21:11

I find it weird when people say I wouldn’t spend more than £30 or £50- you can barely get anything these days for that amount!

We don’t have a budget as such but try not to go mad. We buy stuff they need (eg new scooter as one broke) and some new toys and games. I think it partly depends how much you buy all year- we never buy them new toys so they are due a restock!

Yeah you don't get much for your money these days unfortunately. Toys are so expensive

OP posts:
Pipistrellus · 04/12/2023 21:17

I would not be spending more than £100 normally. My four year old uses a hand me down tablet that is quite old. However, if I had the money to buy a brand new one for a young child, they are not going to understand the value, so I would probably be spending £70 plus tablet. The tablet will be seen as one highly desirable toy to a four year old so I would count it as that.

00100001 · 04/12/2023 21:17

Well, if he needs the iPad for regulation, then why give it as a Christmas present?

Surely he should just be getting that as a matter if course?

Tatumm · 04/12/2023 21:19

It’s silly to spend the money for the sake of it on small bits and pieces as most of it will ultimately end up as landfill anyway, and he will be overwhelmed. If there’s something he really wants that is good quality and will last, why not if you can afford it.

Pipistrellus · 04/12/2023 21:19

GotMooMilk · 04/12/2023 21:11

I find it weird when people say I wouldn’t spend more than £30 or £50- you can barely get anything these days for that amount!

We don’t have a budget as such but try not to go mad. We buy stuff they need (eg new scooter as one broke) and some new toys and games. I think it partly depends how much you buy all year- we never buy them new toys so they are due a restock!

Vinted etc, sales.

PonyPatter44 · 04/12/2023 21:20

curaçao · 04/12/2023 21:10

Meanwhile, in the real world £400 is a perfectly ordinary amount

Not in my version of the 'real world'. 400 quid is a substantial amount of money to me.

I really struggle mentally with buying big presents at Christmas. When I was a kid, my parents probably spent less than a tenner on each of us, and I truthfully couldn't tell you anything I ever got for Christmas - there was simply nothing memorable. It's gone deep into my psyche that you don't spend heavily at Christmas. It's quite weird, really.

toomanyleggings · 04/12/2023 21:20

It is too much but I get how it happens. One year I probably spent about £200 but a lot was kind of pjs and clothes that I would have bought earlier. Then dh went and bought a Nintendo switch on top.

7Worfs · 04/12/2023 21:20

£400 is way too much. When I get carried away and over-buy, I ration it - the week before Christmas I look at everything I’ve bought and if it’s too much I set aside some for birthdays etc.

Original poster
user6776 · 04/12/2023 21:21

00100001 · 04/12/2023 21:17

Well, if he needs the iPad for regulation, then why give it as a Christmas present?

Surely he should just be getting that as a matter if course?

Yeah we've already given it to him as his old one broke. But it was meant to be for Christmas which we had already budgeted for

OP posts:
Parker231 · 04/12/2023 21:22

user6776 · 04/12/2023 21:17

Yeah you don't get much for your money these days unfortunately. Toys are so expensive

Show quote history

We didn’t have a budget for DT’s presents - they got cars for their 18th but at four years old, £50 would have bought them good Christmas presents - some Lego, books, puzzles, crafts. At that age, they have a short attention span so a variety of activities worked out best.

VivienneDelacroix · 04/12/2023 21:22

£200 is my absolute top budget for each child at Christmas. Atm I'm up to between £153-199 each. They are ages 8-15.

Pipistrellus · 04/12/2023 21:22

We have a local second-hand children's clothing and toy shop that is for the community, not to raise money for charity, so it's very reasonable. I've got decent toys for a few pounds there.

boohooloo · 04/12/2023 21:24

I think your husband should be able to spend what he likes (you can afford it). £400 is a lot, but not a crazy amount imo.

JamMakingWannaBe · 04/12/2023 21:24

There's been a few threads on here recently where parents don't know what to buy their 4, 5 and 6 yo for Xmas and Birthdays because they already have EVERYTHING.

maryberryslayers · 04/12/2023 21:24

Surely it depends if you can afford it?
I just buy my kids what ever I think they'll like, I don't have a budget as such.

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 04/12/2023 21:24

user6776 · 04/12/2023 21:17

Yeah you don't get much for your money these days unfortunately. Toys are so expensive

Show quote history

Not necessarily.
£400 is a lot of money to spend.

We buy second hand and limit the amount. My DD will have just turned 4 at Christmas,and have spent about £60 between birthday and Christmas.

All from charity shops or Facebook:
Sylvanian Families set for £10
2 x Boardgames £2 each
3 x books £1
Hot wheels track £10
Stocking fillers, like jellibaf, trinkets, fidget toys etc 50p-£1 each so about £10
Colouring book 50p
Magnetic fishing game £2

New:
Penguin cuddly £8
Unicorn cuddly £9
Hot wheels cars £6

prescribingmum · 04/12/2023 21:25

It’s too much because you’ve got him a big main present which he wants and needs, he’s receiving from other family members and then you still want to give more ‘to have things to open’. He has things to open from others and has a wonderful and generous present from you

If you had said you were spending £400 on a bike because he needed one and that is how much the one he wants costs, my opinion would be that it’s fine if you can afford it. But in this case, you are buying for the sake of buying and going to overwhelm him

Allthewallsarewhite · 04/12/2023 21:25

I love this, I do this too. Makes me feel very organised too, to have gifts lined up already for future events.

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 04/12/2023 21:25

Oh and dinosaur puzzle 50p

Littleelffriend · 04/12/2023 21:28

It’s harder if they have older siblings though. If the 7 year old has a decent pile of presents you can’t give the younger one some bits from the charity shop and that’s it

fyn · 04/12/2023 21:28

I don’t think £400 is an absolutely wild amount. We’ve spent a similar amount on our 3 year old. She wanted a camera as her main gift, a couple of Maileg mice that she loves, a couple of books, some clothes, a few little stocking stuffers and you are pretty close. She isn’t going to get piles and piles of toys, on the face of it not actually that much quantity wise.

ACynicalDad · 04/12/2023 21:29

The amount of c* that our kids grow out of each year, they don't need that much spent on them, it's next year's landfill. I might spend a bit more if they didn't have many grandparent's / uncles / aunts that were going to give, but if they're giving too then limit it - also they have no idea how much it all cost anyway. A couple of cheap things they can interact with physically is probably plenty for a top up.

redalex261 · 04/12/2023 21:29

Buy what you think they will like/need as long as you can afford it. When they are little you can get away with spending a lot less as it’s big square boxes with plastic toys - looks like loads. An iPad though is small and pricy do I would keep the extras to a minimum he will get gifts from others too.

boohooloo · 04/12/2023 21:31

Also, after your update - your question should be: Is £220 too much to spend on my 4 year old.

IMO no.