To think spending £400 on a 4 year old at Christmas is too much?

[user6776]

Not a bragging post before I begin and I appreciate we are lucky to have the money to spend.

We've already bought DS an iPad which cost £180. This was the "main" present and he will get his use out of it, as he's ASD and it helps to regulate him so I didn't mind forking out for that.

Anyway, I was thinking of then setting a remaining budget of £100 for some other bits that he can open - toys, clothes etc. DH was shocked and thought I was being "tight" and suggested we increase the budget to at least £200. He's of the opinion that whatever we see that we think DS might like, that we should buy it and not really have a budget. I told him that's ridiculous and there's no need to buy so much for such a small child!

AIBU to think this is too much?

Bit there's nothing compelling you to buy him the new golf bag, club and the other golf thing is there?

You could have just bought one of those....

For ~£150 for a 13yo you could buy them;

Mini drone £40
Wireless headphones £30-40
Card game like exploding kittens £10-15
Air hammock £10
Chocolate £5
Multi tool/ swiss army knife/ swiss army card £10
Hoodie £15-25
Rubik's cube or similar £10

Or ...

Computer game £50
Power bank £30
Vans £50
Various sweets and treats £20

All perfectly acceptable gifts for a 13yo lad, and plenty to show for it 🤷‍♀️

Your budget of 280 (since the ipad was 180) is more than I would spend on a 4 yr old

Why buy a bundle of other stuff which may become cupboard clutter if what the kid really wants a new golf bag?

But what’s the point of spending a load of money on stuff they don’t really want or need? I’d rather spend more but have it be stuff that will last and be used loads.

this was in response to "what does £150 even get you these days?" as if you couldn't get a good amount of decent presents for that much - when you can

And also - the golf thing, again, I was just saying there's nothing mandating that the PP absolutely had to buy all three things...

Again.... the lists were just examples in response to "what does £150 even get you these days?" as if you couldn't get a good amount of decent presents for that much - when you can.

And also - the golf thing, again, I was just saying there's nothing mandating that the PP absolutely had to buy all three things...

We obviously don't have to buy all 3 golf things but it is his hobby and they will be used loads.

I also don't think a £15-£25 hoodie or a pair of Vans are Christmas presents. Surely they are just basic clothing items that they need?

Anyway each to their own, we all have different budgets and different ideas as to what is appropriate and our children don't know any different.

Mainly because i want to but also they dont need it, xmas toys covers them throughout the year apart from books we get them books and clothes throughout the year.

You literally have just assumed we dont do any charity Christmas collections.

We do the 5 present rule thing for Christmas - something you need, something you want, something to read, something to wear and something extra special. It helps to highlight not just getting presents for the sake of it and that would go to waste.

Some years we spend alot but others we spend not so much. Sometimes it comes down to what they 'need/want' that year. This year we are replacing my eldest's kindle for a newer version so that is £180 but last year he got a skateboard for under £20. My youngest tends to end up with re-gifted items. This year her main present is a new doll but I am giving her all the dolls clothes I had as a child.

don't they get anything for their birthday?

or any gifts/trinkets/toys at all from holidays/days out/summer fetes/fairgrounds etc?

Loads of people give clothes as presents? Some people even give pyjamas.

Plus things like nice/branded items like a pair of Vans would be an acceptable gift too? Sure, not school shoes or whatever.... but a nicer/coveted pair of football boots / hoodrich hoodie ? That's absolutely fine as a gift.

So yes for their birthdays it will maybe be overall a cost of about £60-£100, could be some lip glosses, jammies, a gymnastics leo or somethings like that.

When we go on holiday there gran and papas will give them some money so they would use that to buy something

oh...so they do receive stuff throughout the year then....

Being honest I think at least half of that won't be played with at all. Just words of experience.

LOOK AT WHAT I POSTED

There is no toys throughout the year only essential purchases like clothes etc, Birthdays we maybe spend around £60 on them so christmas we go all out because we want to

3 Girls with 11 years of parenting experience and Christmases, im well versed thankyou.

Is all the stuff from last Christmas too young and passed on/sold now? Does she not get plenty of hand me downs from the two older girls? Just struggling to understand if this is normal for Christmas x3 children what happens to it all?

Don't have you have hand me downs? My son will get the Duplo my daughter was given. He has the dolls she was given and plays with a pram that I bought for her. Each to their own but at three she won't be bothered yet. Is there big age gaps?

That's a huge amount to me, and I've never spent that much on either child. If I was giving a big thing like an iPad, then I'd give it with a stocking and that would be it, on the basis that (like yours) they get other toys and things from family anyway so it's not like they are sitting in an empty house devoid of all toys. They just get overwhelmed with lots to open and most of it gets played with a few times then never again - I hate the waste so I try to very carefully pick things that will last and be loved, and environmentally, I look to buy second hand where possible. Spending on all sorts of toys they "might like" (and that also other people might have got them) is just a waste and will quickly clutter up your house and cause overwhelm for both the adults and children. Less is more, just chosen very carefully!

@Pipistrellus does t have to be normal at all if you're considering three. We have three and that list seems excessive tk me! Lots of wasted and plastic it seems if they all get loads like that! And yes ours passed toys down. One boy two girls.

It's the volume of gifts rather than the volume of pounds that's the main decider on whether it is "too much" IMHO.
I could spend that quite easily on my 4 year old and it only be a few gifts because I like to choose gifts with a bit of a longer life span and the family will pick up things related to the latest obsession.
DS hasn't the foggiest whether I spent £20 or £2000 - he's 4. He's just happy playing with his new toys.
I don't like massive "piles" as they are stressful to deal with and it's no fun when kids don't have space to actually play.

Oldest is 11, middle is 9 so quite a big difference now in age. Ive kept load of clothes to be fair. The dolls house is a hand me down as is the bike.

My next door neighbors daughter is 7 so she gets alot of things as she is closer in age.

Ive kept all the barbie stuff from my middle child packed away for my youngest Christmas so absolutely most big things have been kept but alot of "smaller/cheaper" items were given to my neighbor or charity.

She was a surprise (but over the moon) 3rd baby 😊

Jeez how depressing. I’m one of 5 from a not wealthy family and we never got hand me down gifts from older siblings. We always got something new for Christmas that was our own.

Ok calm down. It's just seemed unlikely they don't receive a single toy, big or small throughout the year. Because people who know kids (aunts uncles, parents of friends etc) usually buy children toys for birthdays or special occasions or whatever.

So,.if you meant "we don't buy them toys" then fine... It wasn't clear.