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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry about photo of me taking without my consent

647 replies

Annoyedofnorfolk · 03/12/2023 09:38

Last week I was walking our dog, it was first thing in the morning and admittedly I wasn't looking my best - just pulled a hoody on!

Unbeknownst to me, somebody who works with my partner took a photo of me whilst he was on a building site and sent it to my partner on social media (and perhaps also sent to others) with a very nasty comment about my appearance and weight. I have never met this man, and he doesn't know anything about me or what is going on in my life right now - I can only presume he recognised our dog. My partner told me about the picture.

I have been so angry about this, my partner is also very angry and has said something - the person who has taken the photo has doubled down said "it was only a joke and basically get over yourself". To be honest I have little time for people who resort to saying "it was a joke" when their nastiness is called out.

I want to email the company he works for - he did this on the company clock, from a company vehicle - he may be my partner's workmate, but I am also a member of the public, and as such I have a right to privacy and should be able to take my dog for a walk without being photographed and made fun of, he has invaded my privacy - it will impact on me, as I will be reluctant to walk that way again. My partner says he won't be bothered if I do, and it will be taken seriously as it is a reputable company, but I'm not sure if that is over reacting. Would be unreasonable to do this, or should I just forget it as the bloke is clearly a childish misogynistic arsehole.

OP posts:
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Ploctopus · 03/12/2023 09:39

I would do it tbh. He was being a little shit and he should face consequences.

sugarandsweetener · 03/12/2023 09:40

absolutely email the company with a. screen shot

what did it actually say?

sugarandsweetener · 03/12/2023 09:41

or should I just forget it as the bloke is clearly a childish misogynistic arsehole.

but surely this is precisely why you should take action?

SwedeCaroline · 03/12/2023 09:41

report report report

have you got screen shots?

Medicinalfriedchicken · 03/12/2023 09:41

100% do it!

SwedeCaroline · 03/12/2023 09:41

this can also be reported to the police as a misogynistic hate crime

HelenTudorFisk · 03/12/2023 09:42

Bloody oath you should report the absolute cretin. I hope they fire him.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 03/12/2023 09:42

Its horrid vindictive behaviour to take the photo.

However if you were in a public place , I don't think legally you have had a breach of privacy. I think there is a good chance the employer won't do much and you will have a greater sense of anger if they gloat to you about getting away with it.

sugarandsweetener · 03/12/2023 09:43

he doesn't know anything about me or what is going on in my life right now

irrelevant! and when you do contact company… just send the screen shot and say how utterly appalled you were to receive this from an employee

Hedonism · 03/12/2023 09:43

What a dick. Definitely report. But you can't stop people taking pictures of you when you are out in public, that happens all the time (ring doorbells, CCTV, background of other peoples pictures). It's what he did afterwards that was the problem.

All2Well · 03/12/2023 09:44

As he did it on company time, I'd definitely report him. He sounds vile.

drowninginsick · 03/12/2023 09:44

Ong yes report this is so far beyond what's acceptable!

PippyLongTits · 03/12/2023 09:44

Yes, screenshot and report.

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/12/2023 09:45

Definitely do it and say that you are very disappointed that a reputable company employs someone who behaves like that

Outliers · 03/12/2023 09:45

Threatening his livelihood (I.e. job security) in this current climate seems like a disproportionate escalation.

SwedeCaroline · 03/12/2023 09:45

Zebrasinpyjamas · 03/12/2023 09:42

Its horrid vindictive behaviour to take the photo.

However if you were in a public place , I don't think legally you have had a breach of privacy. I think there is a good chance the employer won't do much and you will have a greater sense of anger if they gloat to you about getting away with it.

the photograph isnt a crime, no, but the misogyny on social media is

AchillesHeel23 · 03/12/2023 09:45

I would message him to take it down first & tell him if he doesn't you'll be taking it further.
if he just remove it would you be happy to let it go without further action?

Rocksonabeach · 03/12/2023 09:45

Screen shot and report that direct to the company that he whilst working for the company on company hours did such a vile thing and presumably was working for them at the time they must take responsibility

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 03/12/2023 09:45

It may be true that you can't prevent people taking pictures of you in public, however I doubt that the company will do nothing since his actions have brought the company into disrepute and companies don't tend to like it when their employees do this.

I say report, and also your partner is awesome. I was expecting him to say don't, but he is supportive and reasonable and sounds from this limited info like a thoroughly good bloke.

I'm sorry his workmate is a complete twat.

sugarandsweetener · 03/12/2023 09:46

AchillesHeel23 · 03/12/2023 09:45

I would message him to take it down first & tell him if he doesn't you'll be taking it further.
if he just remove it would you be happy to let it go without further action?

take what down? it was a message to her husband

BeeCucumber · 03/12/2023 09:46

Report. You cannot stop someone taking a photo but you can take action regarding the spiteful comments. What did the photographer think would happen? That your partner would agree and think it’s funny? What did he hope to achieve?

EasternStandard · 03/12/2023 09:47

It is likely to be taken seriously as it was in company time

sugarandsweetener · 03/12/2023 09:47

My partner says he won't be bothered if I do,

Your partner should also report him

Whiskeypowers · 03/12/2023 09:47

Will make his employer wonder what else they are pissing about doing the rest of the time I suspect if nothing else.
what a sad little twerp.

sugarandsweetener · 03/12/2023 09:47

is your partner same level as the odious cretin?

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