To miss the class play because my son doesn't have a line (again)?

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

I have always made an effort to take time off work and go to class assemblies, plays etc. The same few children get the main parts, because they are reliable and do a good job. My son (8, Y4) gets the odd line but, like most of the class, is essentially stage furniture. He is used to this situation, and not that bothered.

This time he literally doesn't have one word in the entire play. I am happy to send him in dressed as a pirate so he can stand behind the boy who has all the pirate lines, but I am about to wipe out a lot of A/L over Christmas and I really don't want to book yet more time off to go and watch other people's children perform.

My friend says I will regret it and DS will be mentally scarred for life. Will I? Will he? Or does there come a time when you can say "If he doesn't have an actual part it's fine to skip it"?

Yes! Most kids just want someone there to wave to. It doesn’t need to be Mum.

Yes public speaking is important but there's tons of other ways this can be done not just school plays. Not everyone can be included all the time.

Yes but her kid won't know this 😂 if days off are hard to come by then why not prioritise and spend it doing something else with him that he is actually into, makes sense to me.

Maybe you need to get some parents together and have a conversation with the school. School, especially primary is about offering children opportunities. (now some children would hate to have a speaking part and that's fine) but for the same 4-6 children to be the ones to only ever get the main parts is not offering opportunities. This is a primary school not a national theater...it doesn't matter if all the players are not Oscar worthy...Maybe they need to find plays with dialogue spread over more characters or adapt plays they have. It's actually surprisingly easy to do that. There are other ways for children to shine in plays apart from speaking parts as well. I have done disco dancing stars and singing and dancing angels to ensure more children have a moment to shine in a nativity. We have Innkeepers wives with lines.

@Whitestuanton Yes, exactly. A few lines each. If dc are ok with that.

When I first became a school governor in the late 90s in a school with a challenging intake, I was invited to the Christmas play. This play was for y3-6. Not a single child said a word - not one. The teachers narrated the story and the dc just did movements to the story. No one trusted a single child to say anything. To make it worse, this play was the Pied Piper of Hamlin and we all know how that ends! It was the most miserable Christmas play ever.

The school was inbetween heads and by next Christmas I had overstated my remit as Chair to ask the new Head that the Pied Piper was ditched and children actually got to speak. A criminal event conspired to help. The storehouse with Pied Piper “scenery” in it was set on fire along with the Pied Piper costumes. The school bought a lovely new stage system. There was a wonderful production of Cinderella. Loads of speaking parts. Singing too. Many dc taking part. The change in the parents was amazing. Parents volunteered to make costumes, do makeup, make teas and coffee to raise money and I would never have believed what a difference a play could make. The parents loved seeing dc have a chance.

DS was never interested in being on stage and would actively avoid a speaking part.

We gamely went along to the P1-3 productions but thankfully by age of 8 it was more optional except for Peter Pan in P7 where he was a non speaking sea creature.

By that point he'd realised he was quite good at sports so we happily organised our working hours to be there for any sporting events, but wouldn't do so for something that didn't mean anything to him if it had been in school hours.

Incidentally I wonder why every single darn DC has to be involved in these productions when they don't insist that everyone participates in say swimming galas or netball matches.

I get a nativity when they are in the youngest class, but after that I'm not sure it's such a seminal experience as everyone thinks it is.

@rookiemere Incidentally I wonder why every single darn DC has to be involved in these productions when they don't insist that everyone participates in say swimming galas or netball matches.

They do insist everyone participates in Sports Day though. And at least with a production no child comes last…

Just call sick so you don’t use your leave. I wouldn't miss it.

@rookiemere Few schools at primary level do much for public speaking and confidence let alone music snd drama. This gives the school a chance to offer this for dc. Sport is firmly on the curriculum. Teams are optional. A play is once a year. It’s not every week.The curriculum should be broad for all dc. Dc don’t get to opt out of sport.

No they don't have to be involved directly especially when they are older. They can do scenery and help with directing, be in charge of music, back stage. I only every did little ones but even so I was always careful to ask the children "who don't like to be the center of attention" what they wanted to do. Never had one who couldn't come up with an idea of a part they were comfortable with or a role they could have.