To not want DH to cover team Christmas meal?

[ChristmasMeal]

DH is a Team Manager. He is going out with his team this weekend for a Christmas meal and has said to me he is going to be covering the entire bill for the meal, himself and three others. I've said I don't agree with this, while it wouldn't completely bankrupt us, it would leave us with a smaller budget to buy Christmas gifts for family.

I get the feeling he wants to cover as he's a relatively new Team Manager and wants to appear cool and likeable but I worry he's setting a precedence for future years too.

AIBU for not wanting him to cover everyone's meal?

Nbu - he could offer to cover the first round of drinks instead if he wants to make a gesture.

I agree.

Could they perhaps put a lump sum behind the bar?

YANBU!! Not expected or normal at all. Assuming it's public sector (so no budget!!) the manager does not pay for dinner! They do buy a Christmas gift for the team but usually no more than £5/10 pp depending on size of the team! This is a crazy precedent to set.

Well it’s family money so you have to agree it. suggest he buys a round or a couple of bottles of wine. A gesture is good.

I think it'd be overly generous to cover all the meals and I'm sure his team wouldn't expect it. In the past I've had managers who covered the drinks at the meal, maybe he could do that?

Surely he can expense it?

I would NOT expect my husband to cut our present budget to look cool. I’d sit him down with the list if people you buy presents for , say which are being cut, and you will be responsible for every one of those. I will announce loudly that Dh is doing most of the presents this year so they know you’re the crap one, I won’t take blame for this.

@Highlyflavouredgravy Nope public sector, so purely off his own back

Is this the ‘done thing’ in his line of work? I can’t really say if YABU without a bit more background. I’m assuming he is not the business owner earning millions?
I work for the NHS and it would be totally strange when I was the manager to pay for the team’s food. The most I would do would buy a drink for everyone but even that would be seen as generous.

Unless it is totally expected in his role then it might embarrass people. He might feel more comfortable telling them that the first drink is in him or similar wording and be clear that people will be paying for their own meal?

No a round of drinks is plenty

No he’s being ridiculous. He should buy the wine or something, but if this isn’t expensed them of course he shouldn’t pay for everyone, what does rhe think he’s daddy warbucks?

YANBU. I expect his team would also be quite uncomfortable if he pays out of his own pocket - I manage a team and I know mine would! We generally do rounds at our Christmas lunch (public sector, no funds) I get the first one in.

There is no such thing ss family money, 😂

Ridiculous. Tell him to get the first round of drinks. NO public sector employee expects a Christmas lunch to be paid for.

And pmsl at ‘Expense it’ 😁

Buying the first round of drinks is enough (and I have a comedy routine about the team Christmas drinks and how no one is expecting the boss to do it, or some of them ever actually being in a bar before)
I had a budget to do this. If your partner doesn't there's no way anyone is expecting him to pay for everything.

Oh just seen update.
it would be very odd for him to pay.
If a team of 3 then yes perhaps a token gift and/or buy a drink.
Token gift would be chocolates/wine type of budget as per pp £5-10 max

I managed large team of about 50 so I couldn’t stretch to individual gifts. I did buy generous snacks etc around the Christmas period in lieu of gifts.

He’s being an idiot. No one expects him to pay and they would perhaps find it awkward. He can buy everyone a drink, instead of blowing your family money on trying to buy their favour.

No, it’s not necessary or expected. Definitely setting a dangerous precedent

I was public sector and I’d have felt awkward if my boss did this. He could buy a round of drinks, that would seem suitable. Or maybe cover the desserts if everyone has one. But not the whole bill! That’s a bit cringey.

What's the usual in his organisation? If team managers usually pay for the meal and drinks it will be expected, and his team will resent it if he doesn't stick with the norm - though he can pick somewhere cheapish.

Where I work the managers cover the drinks bill for the Christmas meal, but everyone pays for their own meal. Our Xmas lunch this year is £30 a head and 3 of us will be paying for wine/beer for 15, so it is pricey!

It's a bit show offy. Better to just buy a round of drinks. Otherwise it's a bit LOOOK UNDERLINGS I AM YOUR LORD

Absolutely not. I don't cover my team's Christmas meals. If the company didn't cover it (which they do), everyone would pay for their own. My team gets small gifts from me - usually a baby poinsettia and chocolates - and we do a £5 "charity shop challenge" secret Santa.

His want to show off doesn't trump your family Christmas.

Hell no, he’s nuts. I’d go apeshit.

Jeez no. It doesn't sound like you're on megabucks. In my line of work partners pay for meals which ultimately reduces the profits which they all share but average partner salary is £700k and a starting partner with no extra points got £250k last year. If your DH is on this then he could consider it but as you are talking about budgeting for presents I'm guessing not.

A round of drinks is reasonable in the public sector