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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sister is a Sugar Baby

206 replies

MiniMinn · 27/11/2023 16:40

NC for this one but I promise I’ve been around for a while. Sorry it’s a long one too!

My younger DS (27) told me a few months ago that alongside her corporate job she is a sugar baby. When I questioned it (in a non judge way, just “are you safe” kind of way) she defended it with “it’s fine because I don’t have sex with any of them”.

she has both men and women who regularly buy her lavish gifts, send her money etc.

but this is where I am worried now:

1- she lets them have her actual address and meets up with them. Doesn’t have a PO Box or anything.

2- most of them she has met over social media and is quite quick to let them send her stuff, she meets up with them alone and with friends, but often asks them to send stuff before meeting in person. How does she know they are who they say they are?

3- the big one. she has now quit her job (good for her, she hated it) and moved back in with my parents. In January she is going travelling alone for six months predominantly funded by her main “sugar mama”. What if someone wants something more in return eventually?

I am worried about this going badly somewhere along the line. What if she comes across a weirdo and they have been given my parents address. Her and my parents will be at risk.

my parents don’t know about this they just know about someone who is her “wealthy friend”

I have tried to talk to her but have very little social media presence, and she seems to think I’m really out of touch. According her this is totally normal. It’s not is it?

I’m so worried, I have such a bad feeling about the whole thing.

OP posts:
MiniMinn · 27/07/2024 07:14

OhMelville · 26/07/2024 20:50

Hi @MiniMinn ive just been reading this thread with interest! How is your sister getting on? Any updates? Hoping she is safe and well and enjoying her travels!

Hi! My sister just got back from her travels! She went to LA, San Fransisco and then had the opportunity to go to the Galapagos and finally Australia. She didn’t make it to Canada so maybe in the future. It all sounded amazing and I was quite jealous haha.

she has also made plans to save up and move to Australia eventually (her best friend already lives in Bondi) She is starting a masters degree alongside a new, less stress part time job and seems really happy.

and she got a PO Box so I’m happy too 😂

OP posts:
Plantparent · 27/07/2024 07:25

I have good friends who have done this and there is NO WAY that she is not having sex with them! Men would not waste their time and money for nothing in return! I'm sorry to say this but your sister is a sex worker, however she may dress it up to you to save face.

Most sex workers go to great lengths to conceal their identity, so she is being incredibly naive to give them her address where your parents live. I would be concerned but ultimately she is an adult so there's nothing you can do.

InterIgnis · 27/07/2024 08:09

It is entirely possible that she isn’t having sex with them. I’ve a friend that did this - the man in question got his sexual kicks from being used by her for his money, and by being treated like he was beneath her. Her being willing to have sex with him would have ruined the fantasy.

Anyway, she’s an adult capable of making her own choices.

Ethylred · 27/07/2024 09:01

Why is it wrong for men to pay her for sex but ok for them to pay her for no sex??

InterIgnis · 27/07/2024 09:04

Ethylred · 27/07/2024 09:01

Why is it wrong for men to pay her for sex but ok for them to pay her for no sex??

I don’t personally care whether she is or isn’t having sex with them, as that’s entirely her business. I’m just pointing out that she may not in fact be lying.

OhMelville · 28/07/2024 20:25

Wow what a great update! So pleased to hear she’s spent her money wisely and gained some experiences travelling the world. Good for her!

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