To not go to the Christmas meal out as there’s nothing for me to eat?

[Anonnnny]

Every year my family and a family friend’s family go out for a Christmas meal at a local restaurant. It’s always the same restaurant, as it’s liked by everyone and there’s something for everyone there.

In the last year I’ve had some quite severe stomach issues, and I recently tracked it down to gluten. If I accidentally eat something that turns out to have contained gluten I get very ill immediately (I’ll spare you the details). I don’t yet have a diagnosis of coeliacs disease, as I can’t face eating gluten for 6 weeks for the diagnosis.

The restaurant we go to for a meal has no gluten-free options aside from steak and I’m a vegetarian. The only thing I think I can have is a bowl of chips. AIBU to not want to go just to sit there whilst everyone tucks into a full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings? Everyone is telling me I have to go as it’s our yearly tradition

YANBU. They should change the location, surely any friends would want you to be able to eat without pain? Have you asked them to change venue and suggested alternatives?

Have you asked the venue if they can offer a gluten free meal ?

Most of Christmas dinner is gluten free though (turkey, veg, most roast pots). I’m sure if you talk to the restaurant to check they could sub things for you if anything does contain gluten. I can’t eat gluten and most places are fine with this.

Most restaurants can do gluten free these days. Call them and check what they could do before you decide not to go.

Have you spoken to the restaurant to ask if they can do you a special meal?

Im coeliac and i feel your grrr and sadness at not being able to eat a good meal with everyone at restaurant at times.
Id still go but beforehand i have asked restaurant if i can bring own bread etc..defeats object but saves hassle. Then have a gf xmas dinner on boxing day or xmas eve xxx

And this oc.
Xx
Although OP, Im dubious to eat where theres no gf options, even jacket spud, as it means cross contamination or lack of care concerning that

YANBU, depending how severe your reaction is even chips may be fried with items containing gluten

A lot of meals can be made to be gluten free. I'd be amazed if a restaurant couldn't accommodate you so I'd definitely ask them. I have a friend who has coeliac disease and is a vegetarian and we've never had to settle for just chips when we go out to eat.

Everyone who doesn't have to eat gluten free thinks it's so easy, but the truth is it can be really tough. Grilled meats can be coated in
flour, as can chips, gravy, sausage can all be a no-no. It would be so easy to increase the gluten free offering, but unfortunately I don't think people are aware enough. I wouldn't go if I was you, vote with your feet.

The chips won’t be gluten free if they are fried in the same oil as other items.

roast veg you need to check. Some sauces will have gluten.

i would start by calling or emailing the restaurant. Then I would talk to your family if the restaurant can’t help. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to enjoy your Christmas meal so changing venues or bowing out if it is too late to change are both reasonable plans.

Im gf and vegetarian too..but my options are pretty limited if at all where i live.. shabby tbh. I think if you live in city its a lot easier

If you want to go bring your own food maybe. X

Just to add to the above, you would also have to check that there is no cross contamination. DD has Coeliacs, and the number of places that say they have gluten-free options, but then they prepare/store it with gluten, is unbelievable! Even a crumb is dangerous!

I would go on the meal but check first if the restaurant can offer gluten free and if not that you will bring your own food or eat before ir after you go.

Ask if they will do you a veggie gluten free option

Call the restaurant and ask if they can accommodate you. Gluten free menus are increasingly popular.

Fuck them all, OP.

They don’t give a shit that you’re not getting a meal whilst they tuck into a full meal, so why should you care about their feelings?

Do you not think OP has done this already?!

You can’t bring your own food to a restaurant! There is no way they will allow that. Maybe if it is a bread roll and you are eating everything else off the menu but no way could you bring a whole meal and occupy a seat for the duration of a sitting.

If you let the restaurant know well in advance I expect they would be willing to cater for you. It's just a case of making something from scratch and being very careful about contamination.

I'd give the restaurant a chance to come up with something for you. They might be more imaginative than you think.

Ive got a similar problem . Im lactose intolerant so cant risk eating or drinking anything at my parents who are expecting me on Christmas Day. Ive been taking lactose free milk round there when i visit so i can simply have a hot drink. I will be eating at home before i go. They wont like it but they would like diarrhoea over their pedestal mat even less. I concede gluten intolerance is even harder though.

Everyone is telling me I have to go as it’s our yearly tradition Tell everyone that you have zero intention of making painful and explosive diarrhoea part of your annual festivities, so if they want to carry on eating at the same restaurant each year, they’ll have to accept that you won’t be joining them. I think it might help if you get really, really graphic when you describe your symptoms. They’ll agree with you just to get you to stop talking.

It's a bit silly to be trying to change plans or threaten to pull out without even contacting the restaurant to see if they can't accommodate you. Sounds like your family are long standing and valued guests.

If they can't, it might be too late to book something elsewhere for a large group. Have you found a suitable alternative that can accommodate you all at the same time/place or did you just throw it back onto the organiser? Perhaps everyone would be happier to accept a change if it's presented to them as a fait accompli.