To not go to the Christmas meal out as there’s nothing for me to eat?

[Anonnnny]

Every year my family and a family friend’s family go out for a Christmas meal at a local restaurant. It’s always the same restaurant, as it’s liked by everyone and there’s something for everyone there.

In the last year I’ve had some quite severe stomach issues, and I recently tracked it down to gluten. If I accidentally eat something that turns out to have contained gluten I get very ill immediately (I’ll spare you the details). I don’t yet have a diagnosis of coeliacs disease, as I can’t face eating gluten for 6 weeks for the diagnosis.

The restaurant we go to for a meal has no gluten-free options aside from steak and I’m a vegetarian. The only thing I think I can have is a bowl of chips. AIBU to not want to go just to sit there whilst everyone tucks into a full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings? Everyone is telling me I have to go as it’s our yearly tradition

So their tradition is making you ill?

Juat so you know op, actually you dont need to be diagnosed. It's fine to live your life with no diagnosis r to take your time with it. It wont change much.

It doesn't actually give more options. Grilled meat can be coated in seasoned flour. So can fried meat. Sauces are often thickened with flour. Still a minefield!

Still a minefield but more potential options.

You have no idea why OP is a vegetarian, I think yours and @porridgeisbae views are quite dismissive and ignorant.

All you seem concerned about is not bothering the restaurant or hosts.

If OP doesn’t want to attend the meal because she can’t eat the food then that’s absolutely her right, so stop guilt tripping her.

I was eating very little meat at the time I was diagnosed coeliac but once I was, I think being vegetarian and coeliac - or worse, vegan - would have been extremely limiting nd very difficult when eating out or eating in other peoples homes. Both of which are socially and culturally very important. I rarely eat meat when I'm cooking for myself but when I eat elsewhere, I will eat whatever is easiest for the host or chef or restaurant. If that's roast chicken with juices and mashed potatoes and sautéed vegetables then so be it.

Don't be ridiculous, of course it gives more options! There is an enormous difference between a plate of veg and potatoes and a plate with steak with garlic butter or juicy pork chops with sage and apple or a beautiful piece of fish with a cream and lemon sauce. None of which would come coated in flour.

The gluten bit fair enough, but you can hardly be surprised and call it ‘shabby’ when you choose to cut out a load more options by being vegetarian.
That’s your own choice.

OP - Do you know there is a very reliable blood test for coeliac disease?

Don't even start with me...its not a load more options...its vegetarian ffs. Grow up.

The Op can’t eat meat because she’s vegetarian .

Many sausages are not Gf as they contain breadcrumbs ( see also being vegetarian ).

Roast potatoes are often coated with wheat flour.

Vegetables are often prepared with a sauce that contains wheat flour .

It’s not unusual even in London for there only to be one or two vegetarian/vegan options on a menu so the PP isn’t wrong to say that you are cutting out a lot of options when eating out though.

Its 70% reliable and you have to eat gluten for 6 weeks before to show up.

Selfish pricks because they as a group want to go somewhere they love and which has become a kind of tradition? I think if anything it is the OP who is being inconsiderate in expecting everyone else to bend to her will, without it seems having even done much research or questioning as to whether the restaurant could cater for her. I've been a coeliac for 30 years, from the time when pretty much noplace catered to you, to now when the choices are generally fantastic. I've run the gamut from there being literally one thing I could have per course - melon to start, dry breast of chicken and boiled potatoes and vanilla ice cream - to feeling embarrassed at the trouble hosts and restaurants go to sometimes. Yeah, it sucks to be me but it's no one's fault, restaurants aren't social services and most hosts, venues etc are trying their best. I've not starved yet and could provably live off my hump. OP, I know it's a bit stressful but please don't become one of THOSE coeliacs who make it part of their identity, go on about it constantly and see every restaurant visit as an opportunity to raise awareness of their suffering and limitations. It is tedious and boring. Eat what you can, don't eat what you can't, drink and be merry and enjoy the company.

roast meat is often coated in flour before searing.

roasted potatoes, parboil, then shake with flour to rough them to get that nice crispy texture

people should not state items are safe to eat unless they are sure

Bloody hell, there's people on this thread would have you believe every item in a restaurant kitchen is coated in flour unless you ask otherwise. It's bizarre. OK, so stick to things which by no stretch of anyone's imagination (although anything is possible on this thread) could be 'coated' in flour. All kinds of salads, plain grilled or steamed vegetables, rice, quinoa, ratatouille, etc., etc.

Just call the restaurant and see what they can do for you. Veg, gravy, fish, risotto, whatever. Don't have to contain gluten.

All you seem concerned about is not bothering the restaurant or hosts.

If someone has one intolerance that's hard enough for the person, but when they're voluntarily limiting their food choices even more, it's a more restrictive diet than it needs to be.

I think she should give up the vegetarianism altogether so she can get more of a range of foods and nutrients more easily, as she's already having to limit what she can eat due to the self-diagnosed gluten thing.

My nephew has food allergies not gluten and I cannot imagine taking him somewhere he can't eat. I wouldn't go

I find it hard to believe that a restaurant exists that couldn't do SOMETHING for a coeliac vegetarian, much less a place thaf the OP described in her first post as having 'something for everyone'. So if you were the OP's relative, your virtue signalling would be unnecessary.

roasted potatoes, parboil, then shake with flour to rough them to get that nice crispy texture

Not in restaurants they don't.

Thanks have a great evening!

The point is if you have an allergy you don’t guess, you ask. You tell the server your allergy because you just never know if the chef has an unexpected way of cooking something.

Ive also been told that a particular item, that while safe itself, was a bad idea to order because it was stored right next to a high allergen item in the kitchen. the server suggested an alternative that would be safer.

communication and real information is the only thing that works with allergies.

Bugger their tradition. I think you should start your own tradition of not spending time with people who don't give a damn about your comfort or welfare.

The only thing I would do would be to call the pub/resto in advance and explain my allergy; I'd ask if they have anything they could prepare with specific precautions. I wouldn't be pushy, just explain the dilemma on a special occasion. They might be willing to prepare a gluten-free pasta and salad for you given enough notice (likely at higher cost, but oh well). If not, let your family know you tried and have a fab meal at home.
I suffered years of food intolerances and a specific anaphylactic allergy and I completely understand. Luckily, mine have subsided as I've gotten older and are quite manageable now.

Also, a lot of restos/pubs have frozen food they have not prepared themselves, so assumptions about chips (even roasties!) being okay, for example, are not safe to make. You would have to ask to see the packaging for chips, fish, burger patties, crab cakes, anything.
Turkey/roast could be a prepared roll with gluten in any preservatives. The list is mind-boggling and an absolute nightmare if intolerant or celiac.