To feel like this about ex's lottery win?

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

My ex has always been lucky with wins on the lottery. A few hundred here, a thousand there.

I have been blocked for a long time but a few days back he unblocked me, we've exchanged pleasantries and he told me he's won the lottery. We're talking a life changing amount here. He can give up work and live off this money with lots to spare for a very luxury lifestyle. I have asked why he unblocked me to get back in contact and he avoids the question entirely. The thing is, I feel utterly bitter about his win. The things I could only dream about with that amount!

AIBU to feel this way and how do I get over it?

I wouldn't believe him for a minute!

It sounds complete bullshit and I'd be laughing that he was sad enough to have to text me this crap to try and upset me. Why would you even care? He's won the lottery - but he's got so little in his life that he's had to unblock you to let you know?

Utter rubbish.

If it's any consolation, the small farmers I know (France rather than Spain) work long hours and are stressed, and make very little money. I'd rather be in your position with a decent job, rather than in theirs. I think people who give up a cushy white collar life in the UK to live a hardscrabble peasant life on the continent are insane (I used to want to live off the land too, but couldn't afford any, and this might have worked out for the best).

I wonder if an old university ex won the lottery too. He sent me a horribly smug email which I never replied to, about how something wonderful (unspecified) had happened to him and how happy he was. I never wrote back to have my nose rubbed in whatever it was. He had voted Leave so was already blocked on social media. Whatever it was, I'm happy not knowing about it!

But what are the chances of someone winning the lottery multiple times?

IDK, but probably smaller than the chances of someone inventing/exaggerating their good fortune to wind up an ex.

what are the chances he unblocked and rang her to tell this? Whole story is off

Many chance he would share?

Seems odd to me he has won multiple times! I don’t know anyone who has done that. Is he buying loads of tickets? Tbh I would be wondering if he had a gambling problem 😂 if so you’ve had a lucky escape and I expect he’ll blow the lot very quickly. Block him and carry on your life. When you feel bitter imagine him spending it at the bookies which could well be happening. I wondered when I read your op if you were going to say he worked In some way related to the lottery and you thought he’d done some sort of scam to win multiple times! Seems unlikely he would win several times imo.. xx

He's being smug, you should send him links to articles about lottery winners who blew their millions and went back to where they were before, a lottery win doesn't automatically mean happiness. Besides, I am sure he's an ex for a reason.

as hard as it is, money is the root of all evil. He will probably fritter it away anyway. I’ve never had alot o money but know a few around me who do and they waste it on what they want and not what they need. You’ll get by, focus on an interest and every time that win comes into your mind, blow it away and say it was not meant to be (with him) so move on. It’s easy for me to say but try it. I hope you find some interest instead of money….

It sounds annoying, but honestly, he's an ex for a reason, and you don't want to be with anyone who's not right for you - whether they've got money or not. Block him, cut your losses, and move on.

Look at it this way OP, he may be rich but he sounds like an arse. You may not be as well off as him but at least you're not an arse. Block and move on.

Having heard that my DH's close friend had had a big win, my accountant friend sent me a link to an interesting article. It was written by an account who was also a psychologist, who had a special interest in advising people who had had an unexpected windfall.

According to the article, some 80% of people who receive a large amount of unanticipated money blow the lot within five years. If you think about it, receiving a life-changing amount sets you aside from your friends and relatives and acquaintances. Whether or not you share any with them, the relationship becomes difficult. The author theorised that people tend to squander their winnings to get back into their comfort zone.

So if you want to dream of your ex's downfall, you could imagine him falling out with his relatives before losing all the money in the end.

does he have a history of lying?

@corblimeylove yes to have so many "big" wins, e.g. hundreds / thousands and now this sounds a bit unbelievable!

He wants you back.

And is either

a) lying about a win
b) using it to try and reignite the relationship

Men who’ve won the lottery don’t piss about looking to gloat.

They have new found power and this instills in them confidence to go after what they want.

It’s odd you’ve said it’s so unfair he’s won and not me! If you wanted to win, then you play….

And he’s entitled to see friends, eat out and drink if he wants (unless alcoholic).

To my mind so long as partner spends some time with me I don’t mind what he does, I’m off seeing my own friends and doing my own thing.

Do what you will, but he wants back in your pants for sure.

OP it's totally a natural and human reaction that you would be super jealous. It's annoying but nothing you can do (and may well not even be true - or maybe a half truth?)

My ExH received a life-changing bonus from work JUST after our financial settlement to divide assets was decided. Annoying but you get over it - and if he played the lottery, not you, it's not really yours to be annoyed about.....

How do you know it's even true?!

He must've gambled a lot on it too...

I almost posted the same thing.

And the odds are that now he has a lot of cash at his disposal (if he's telling the truth) he will gamble more and more - and ultimately it's a losers' game.

He's spent a fortune on different lotteries over the years. Used to be about £15 a day when we were together. That's not just on the national lottery but the Irish lottery too.

I do play the national lottery but I pay £4 a week.

£5,500? A year? For how many years 10? Well if he’s won big then maybe the £55,000 has been worth it.

But he really ought to knock it on the head now. Mission complete.

Do you have any aspiration to get back with him?

So he's just been in touch to say he was going to give me some money but after all the shit I texted him, now there's no chance.

I didn't text him any shit, just truth and asking him why he unblocked me.

I can see he's still a manipulative bastard.

That is a new level of manipulation. You need to get out of this immediately. He's playing games and it seems to be working as you are giving it significant head space. You seriously need to block him and focus on your objectives and life.

Block block block block.

Actually after he said he was going to give me some of his win but there's no way now because of the 'shit I've said' , he blocked me. Manipulative and he's the very reason that I stay single. Dickhead.