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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like this about ex's lottery win?

220 replies

SpeedbirdSquawker · 19/11/2023 12:26

My ex has always been lucky with wins on the lottery. A few hundred here, a thousand there.

I have been blocked for a long time but a few days back he unblocked me, we've exchanged pleasantries and he told me he's won the lottery. We're talking a life changing amount here. He can give up work and live off this money with lots to spare for a very luxury lifestyle. I have asked why he unblocked me to get back in contact and he avoids the question entirely. The thing is, I feel utterly bitter about his win. The things I could only dream about with that amount!

AIBU to feel this way and how do I get over it?

OP posts:
Wouldyouguess · 19/11/2023 13:26

Are you even sure he won or just rubbing lies in your face?
I had a former friend lie to make people jealous that we left her (she was obnoxious, unpleasant and rude and most friends distanced themselves from her one by one). Turned out there was no littery win but she wanted to see who would run back thinking she had money.

LoopyLooooo · 19/11/2023 13:26

MsCactus · 19/11/2023 13:24

I don't think he's telling the truth. If so, why would the first thing you'd do is unblock an ex to tell them? Why wouldn't you go off and enjoy your millions?

I think he's just trying to get to you - and apparently it's worked!

Statistically you're also more likely to be randomly murdered on the way to buy a lottery ticket than win the lottery - the chances are so small. Maybe he has won - but it's far more likely that he's trying to wind you up.

To be fair, the OP hasn't said it was the first thing he did or even exactly when he won it.

frazzledasarock · 19/11/2023 13:26

Do people who won the lottery ever have a long lasting outcome from it?

I always read updates of people back right where they were or worse because they’ve frittered it all away.

SweetBirdsong · 19/11/2023 13:26

Obviously block him on everything @SpeedbirdSquawker . I don't understand why you hadn't done that already. Confused

As pps said, he is probably exaggerating what he won - if he did even win anything.

weirdoboelady · 19/11/2023 13:33

Have you seriously considered that he may be lying? Lots of possible motivations for him to do this - to get you back or just to piss you off!

ClareBlue · 19/11/2023 13:33

You can make the life on Spain if you really want to. Make a plan based on hard facts about costs etc and what income you can have and what assets you have. Put your energy into that, not worrying about if your ex has won loads of money and how unfair it is. You can do it. Thousands do, so why not you.

stayathomer · 19/11/2023 13:34

This reminds me of that chick lit book- pushing her luck (sorry, am an author and I read too much!). I get why you’re bitter but he said it to you to get this reaction, try to just ignore (sorry!)

Jewelspun · 19/11/2023 13:34

Prior to the lottery he was a douchebag.

Now he's a rich douche bag.

I wouldn't stress over it and block him.

Cumbrianlife · 19/11/2023 13:35

I don't understand your bitterness given you have no link and you dumped him. You seem obsessed over what you could do with it, which is odd. Do you feel that way about anyone who has what you want?

laclochette · 19/11/2023 13:35

He might have money but it hasn't made him a nice person, given he's let you know just to rub it in your face. It won't buy him happiness with that sort of attitude and personality.

TheAbsurd · 19/11/2023 13:38

Maybe it was 4 numbers or something and he got £2000.

TheAbsurd · 19/11/2023 13:38

Did he tell you how much he won?

AdoraBell · 19/11/2023 13:40

I agree that he’s contacted you to gloat. Stop contacting him, block him and concentrate on yourself.

ClairDeLaLune · 19/11/2023 13:42

It’s a bit unlikely he’s had several wins. He’s probably lying.

Even if he isn’t, you sound very bitter to say it’s unfair he won and you didn’t. Him winning hasn’t made you any worse off, it’s irrelevant to your life. Ignore, and get on with your life.

ClareBlue · 19/11/2023 13:42

Slothsandspiderman · 19/11/2023 13:16

Honestly OP ignore him. My best friend’s ex has a relationship with a multi millionaire and it’s completely ruined him. He’s turned into a grade a twat. His kid, whilst initially impressed quickly realised how it had impacted on him. They are now non contact. He’s miserable, fat and friendless. Revenge is a dish best served cold

Yep, seen that a few times.
Miserable, fat and friendless😂after making serious cash or winning it. Family member got very lucky with a business idea and sold it for millions and is now exactly as described. Couldn't conceive, bought a foreign baby, lost interest and sent it back.
OP, focus on your aims in life and forget about him. 5 years is a long time. It's not like you broke up last month.

forgotmyusername1 · 19/11/2023 13:43

I would respond

'Cool'

And that's it

oakleaffy · 19/11/2023 13:45

SpeedbirdSquawker · 19/11/2023 12:38

We have no children and broke up in 2018 after 10 years together. We then met up last year but he is very invested in his few friends and meets them almost every day to eat and drink that it left no time for him to see me so I told him so and left it there. He then blocked me for not wanting to see him again and telling him why until now.

He's doing it to gloat, to say ''Look what you are missing out on!''
But he could be lying.

I remember once when newspapers did ''lottery tickets'' at the weekend, my son saying ''We have won £250,000!
The momentary elation, the soaring adrenaline rush... but son was having a joke.

I could't be cross, but I had a small glimmer of that 'wow' feeling.

followed by a rapid bumping down to earth sensation. 😆

OhComeOnFFS · 19/11/2023 13:47

He was really trying to get to you, wasn't he? He succeeded, too.

I doubt he won anything big; I think he's said that to get exactly this effect. If it's millions you might be able to find out whether a winner lives in his area, but tbh I think you're better off blocking him and never giving him a second thought.

If you're unhappy with your life, you need to get that sorted - at least you've got rid of a guy you dislike.

Barnowlsandbluebells · 19/11/2023 13:49

frazzledasarock · 19/11/2023 13:26

Do people who won the lottery ever have a long lasting outcome from it?

I always read updates of people back right where they were or worse because they’ve frittered it all away.

Yes - for some people, it's life changing in a positive way. Those are the ones that wisely stay out of the limelight and live a low key lifestyle enjoying their millions.

BlueGrey1 · 19/11/2023 13:50

I’m not sure I would believe him

He is definitely trying to make you jealous,

Feeling a bit bitter is a normal feeling from time to time, most people’s lives don’t turn out they way they hoped they would.

Just get it into your head that he is lying and block and forget about him.

By the way ( as I’m sure you already know) comparison is the thief of joy so just focus on your own life and not comparing it to others, everybody has their issues even if you can’t see them

wokbun · 19/11/2023 13:51

He's no one to you just block him

Itsbritneybitch22 · 19/11/2023 13:59

I wouldn’t block I would just saw congratulations that’s so lucky I hope you enjoy it and then leave him to it.

He wouldn’t get the response he wanted if he was if he wanted to upset you.

margotrose · 19/11/2023 14:01

You have no proof he's won anything. He's probably lonely and attention seeking.

NameChange259 · 19/11/2023 14:03

All the money in the world and the best thing he can think to do is taunt his ex?

hes not over you - and he’s a total saddo!!

enjoy the moral high ground at least Flowers

block him and move on so he has to leave you alone from now on.

MeMySonAnd1 · 19/11/2023 14:06

I have had similar but through merit rather than lottery.

I think that rather than bitter you should be laughing, the loser is still hurt enough trying to impress you despite all that money.

I think I had a fleeting moment when I asked myself what my life would be like if we had stayed together… and another fleeting moment that probably by now I would have killed myself.

if it is any consolation rest assured that you may still have a much better life than him. My ex is so disorganised with money that I am sure that despite his massive income he should have big debts, no peace and an unfaithful partner that is clearly just with him because he is the goose that lies golden eggs.