To want to slap people who say 'it doesn't get any easier' than having toddler and baby.

[TwoBabas]

Not an actual slap as I don't condone violence, just a virtual one.

If I had a pound for every-time some smart arse has smugly told me 'it doesn't get any easier you know'. Grrrrrrrr. To put into context I had two under two with my second child being well let's just say 'spirited'. That little bundle of joy nearly cost me my sanity and the first year of his life and it was the most challenging experience of my life to date.

I have seen many mums-netters resorting to the dreaded sentence. A brutal response to a mother on the edge. And imagine my delight to be told it face to face many times too. Once by a local lady whilst shopping in the co-op. She was queuing with a bottle of wine in her hand and a half-pissed daft expression on her face. I at the time, had the two year old in the shopping trolley and the newborn hanging off me both children wailing in synchrony. She 'had teenagers' at home. Already showing me that in some way it will get easier as one day I might get to drink some wine again (without breastfeeding guilt) and that mine might also be at home locked in their bedrooms doing teenagery stuff whilst i'm schmoozing my way around the co-op wine aisle in peace. There's also that little thing called school, let's not forget. But obviously your kids being out the house 5 days a week is no easier than then being under your feet all day demanding every second of your time.
(In all seriousness I actually love my kids being little and at home with me but you get my drift)

More bearable would be 'it get's easier but it can get very hard again in peaks and waves'. I can accept that. Just. That is kinder and more TRUTHFUL than It NEVER gets any easier. Like everyday between newborn and 18 will be as draining and challenging as it is in the first few years. Pleeeease.

Ive heard there are golden years when they get a bit more independant and you can leave the house without taking a boot load of stuff with you.Im already on the cusp of that and I can feel it starting to get a bit earier. Granted teenagers are a pain in the arse and I know it might feel impossibly hard again in the future but just incase anyone out there is worried. It gets easier! It absolutely get easier. The middle part after toddler and before teen is easier I don't care who might say otherwise.

Now pass me the wine.

The challenges are different but I find these easier to work through. My dc are 12-15 and we hang out and have lots of fun. I love this age. They were cute when little but I feel like I am more myself at this age.

Can't comment on the teenage years but I'm certain that 2 and 4 is easier than 0 and 2 or 1 and 3!

So at least there is a break even if it does get harder again.

unless you are dealing with a high needs tween/teen/adult then of course it gets physically easier as your children move through childhood. But if you think for a moment you are going to worry or care less as your children get older I think you have a shock coming. Gone are the days when Calpol and a hug can solve almost everything. Bullies, MH issues, knowing they are driving on the motorway for the first time or out drinking, unprovoked violence against them, when they are ill or sad away from home can be heartbreaking and you would give anything to be able to hug them and tell them everything will be alright. So yes, enjoy the age they are now and always, but your babies will always be your babies and you will only be as happy as your saddest child. And still 100% and utterly worth it.

Harder for me. I had a baby and toddler, then another baby. 3 preschoolers, all age 4 and under. It was easy. I knew where they were and felt in control.
Now I have 3 at primary school. It is not easy. We all have places to be all the time. Work and school to succeed at.They have ideas and opinions of their own, and argue brilliantly. I do not feel in control.

Does anybody actually plan to have two under two?

No words.

It really gets easier. I’ve got three children between 5 and 10 and this really is a golden time in my life. They are funny and witty and reasonably self sufficient. Toddler and baby is so so hard!

Stuff I dream of. I have two high energy pre teen / teens. Full on 24/7

I think people say it to make conversation or they have forgotten the relentlessness of the first few years of sleep deprivation/not peeing alone/finishing a hot drink etc.

A lady I work with said to me it’s less labour intensive as they get older but the problems are bigger. We won’t know until we get there and then we might be the lady with the wine in Coop😂

Physically it gets a lot easier, mentally and emotionally is a lot tougher. Teenagers are growing up in a very different environment than they were years ago. I really miss the feeling of having them tucked up in bed and safe. I cannot sleep until I hear a key in the door nowadays. Throw mental health issues into the mix and it is soul destroying.
Had to laugh at the poster blaming parents for finding the teenage years difficult. What a crock of shit.

Utter bullshit.

People have said that to me but personally it has got a bit easier for me.

No one can really tell you how it's going to go so ignore it

People are not being helpful coming out with that cliché. But having now an 18 and 20 year old I think the hardest years are mid to late teens - purely on a psychological level, not physically like when they are small. But it is waves - the golden age is about 6-9 when they still think you are the centre of their world but don't need you to dress them/clean them or mind them constantly, school is quite fun still and friendships easy.

I think what people mean is the worry doesn't get any easier. The mental load never stops. And there's always a new 'challenge' to face.
Of course the actual child rearing gets easier (in most cases) when you can have some time to yourself, can consistently eat a meal in peace and get a full night's sleep. It's silly to suggest it doesn't.
I don't know why people need to say these things, they just repeat phrases like an echo from years ago, that never ends. Collectively, we are very basic 😅

Mine are 6 and 9. I’m finding it really hard just now.

They are messy as all fuck, they fight like cat and dog and they won’t go the fuck to sleep.

I am scunnered with them. Absolutely scunnered. I also love them more than life itself and hate that I have clearly made a mess of this somewhere along the way.

Worse, I had hyperemesis for six months, then my cat died of cancer, then I ended up with preeclampsia, and these women STILL gleefully kept telling me the things I was going to suffer next.

Heartburn? No. Stretch marks? In spite of getting them for everything else, no. Etc, etc. It was as if what I did suffer wasn't enough.

And they wonder why I don't want them round that much seeing the baby!

I was going to say this. Teens is way way harder than baby/toddler. Abd I didn't have a difficult one! Really really emotionally challenging. And complicated. Baby/toddler is more physically hard but it's usually fairly easy to work out what to do. With teens is a constantly changing complicated puzzle, while being emotionally draining. Tbh it hasn't changed much into 20s. Still bloody emotionally difficult for all sorts of other reasons.

I suppose all families are different. I found the teen years for both of mine much easier than the baby and toddler years. I wonder whether it’s because mine are twins, and had health problems, and I found it hard to get through a day looking after the two of them both physically and mentally.
As teenagers they were generally lovely. Yes we had problems with school, and friendships, but nothing like the serious issues that people post on MN and they didn’t turn into the stereotypical rude badly behaved teenage horrors. And unlike the early years everyone was getting a night’s sleep!

Surely it depends on what "it" is? The practical side of things might get easier, but the stress and worry don't. They just change form.

Yeahhhh.. for me it hasn't
Not to say everyone's experience will be the same but I long to go back to the days when I had 3 kids under 5.

How old are your DC?

Honestly?
There can be challenging aspects of all ages, including even into adulthood for some folk, but the baby/toddler years I found to be the most draining energy wise. Teen years can be 'fun' too, if they happen to need picked up very late at night/early in the morning, especially if you're someone who likes to go to sleep reasonably early, like me! 🤐

Don't care what anyone says, it definitely gets easier the older they get

@AllWeWantToDo I think we all have different experiences - it's fine to say it definitely got easier for you, but you cannot apply that universally. The word 'different' is definitely more apt for us, than 'easier' is. DS was a fairly easy baby/toddler though.

It's not the same thing but what always hacked me off was the knowing snigger and "just wait...." comments when you mentioned that actually you were enjoying being a mother.
For me the physical stuff has got easier (lack of sleep is entirely my own doing now) but the emotional worry preys on me a lot.