To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

If you don't think six year olds can be dramatic then you are being a bit naive. Let's imagine you told off her brother or your dd. Eg. Don't you dare throw that toy! She imitates you at school. The teacher reports a safeguarding concern and you get a call or visit. Does this seem OTT?

From your OP
She is often scared when we shout at home.

She wasn't scared when the teacher shouted.

Teachers shout sometimes. You're in for many years of this, try not to stress about it.

Stop with the Pearl clutching I am more concerned about the fact she wasn’t scared by the teacher shouting but is scared with there is shouting at home, I presume between you and your partner

focus on that instead

Op imagine instead of 2 children you had 10 children to deal with. I’m sure the home dynamic would still be kind etc but probably there would be more direct authority needed - for everyone’s safety as well as some order and to actually get anything done
Well this teacher likely has 20+ children to deal with so maybe consider that before complaining?

When you work out the magic trick of keeping 30 x 6 year olds who are in a classroom 5 days a week, some with behaviour issues, without occasionally throughout the day raising your voice for effect do let us all know.

Of course teachers shout!

Oh for goodness sake.

I'm not talking about anyone reporting safeguarding concerns....I'm saying the headteacher might need to have word with her about the language she uses.

Oh my goodness op.

Please try teaching yourself. This is not bad. It is very annoying when a child disrupts the learning of others.

You are taking the word of a six year old as gospel, with absolutely no idea of the context of the situation and what led up to the teacher saying that, if indeed it happened exactly as your DD describes.

Yeah this

Explain what you would have said and how you would have said it, please.

Unless the teacher said “don’t you fucking dare …” then no don’t speak to the HT about their use of language. 🙄

Not sure what you're implying here.....

She also didn't show fear when the fire alarm went off at school, despite her being petrified of alarms elsewhere.

She masks alot at school.And is maybe scared to show vulnerability.

She is used to raised voices sometimes at home, I'm not going to deny that and fake perfection as a parent, however
us shouting 'please get your shoes on we are going to be late' is not the same as someone roaring 'Don't you dare interrupt me' in a threatening way.

Who is going to have a word with you about the shouting in your home that scares your dd?

You have posted before about your dd awaiting assessments for send. I am not sure that you can make a judgement about whether the teacher is wrong on the basis of your dd telling off her younger sister in a tone you didn't like that she said was like her teacher.

And this is why i quit teaching before fully qualifying.

You cannot do right for wrong.

You can bet your arse that kid is repeatedly the cause of problems, if the teacher does nothing they are wrong, if she deals with it then she is wrong.

Don't you dare interrupt is not offensive. He had probably been asked a thousand times and failed to comply with the nice attempts.

Op you are being massively unreasonable to consider complaining. You have said yourself she is scared of you shouting but not of her teacher. If I were you I would focus on that and do something about your own behaviour. You know what they say about people in glass houses.

Its not just the shouting, it's what she said, and I've worked in a nursery for many years so know managing lots of kids is tough at times, but if people can't do the job without getting angry and threatening the kids, they should be in a different career tbh.

If you want your child to have a decent education ( state or private) then you need to be thankful for teachers who will do this. Sorry but it's necessary especially with the current state of soft parenting.

You have also posted before about you and your dh working on your anger and stress when dealing with your dd. I suppose I am implying that you need to look closer to home.

Why on earth would you speak to the Head about the teacher's language

Unbelievable

Give over, no wonder there are no many behavioural issues in schools if a parent is going to complain every time a teacher raises their voice.

"Don't you dare interrupt me" is in no way threatening. Get a grip.

Most likely this is an exaggeration on behalf of you daughter.

Firm voice is a known tactic teachers operate when trying to engage, teach and safeguard 30 children in a classroom.

You have no idea the challenges that particular child might bring and how the teacher needs to handle it so things don’t spiral out of control.

This sort of thread really shows me how little some people understand the behaviour children are exhibiting at school and what teachers have to deal with it.

I’d be more concerned about your daughter watching you and your husband shouting at each other!

God no wonder there is so much trouble in schools, and out of schools too, these days.
You really feel the need to complain over a teacher trying to keep some discipline in the classroom? Probably because the kids aren't disciplined at home.

And the 2yo shouldn't have been touching the 6to food - why didn't you stop it?

So you raise your voice, but the teacher roars? How do you know she roared in a threatening way?