To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

Did you post post previously about you and DH working on the anger you felt when dealing with dd? Now you've mentioned shouting in your own home?

The fact you said your child doesn't like shouting at home but said they don't mind it at school, shows the environment they feel secure in. Look closer to home, OP.

What language?
What's wrong with what she said?

Get a grip , teacher puts on stern shouting voice, child listens and amends behaviour. Can't see what's offensive about " don't you dare " not like she swore .

'Don't you dare' is a phrase, not a threat.

And you weren't there so you don't know if it was said in a 'thundering' voice.

I agree that you're being awfully precious,

The language?? Her language was fine. You're properly bonkers, sorry.

Aparently 'Don't you dare' is a threat 🙄😂

It's an effective phrase to make a kid think twice about doing it again. Often useful for safety - don't you dare step in the road/touch the broken glass etc - but also for curbing rudeness and bad behaviour, which interrupting is. Jesus, what are teachers supposed to do to discipline these big classes now? Concoct a reward chart for not interrupting teacher and give them a prize?

Finally, someone who sees sense!
Me too...and I wonder if I was posting that my husband shouted at me 'Don't you dare interuppt me whilst I'm talking' if all the PPs would be giving a very different responses.

I am almost certain they would be saying 'get rid of him, he is abusive' etc, yet they are not saying anything negative against this teacher doing the same at a young child which is a sad reflection of the sort of attitudes there still are towards children being 'lesser' than adults 🙄

It's a pity that before posting ridiculous complaints people do not have to spend a couple of days in a classroom with upwards of 20 children rather than struggling with a couple!

Er ....ok
Would she have preferred if the teacher had said excuse me John or Jane, I don't like it when you interrupt me? In a class of what? 30?

Threatening behaviour? Give over. It’s a shame more teachers don’t speak like this these days, there wouldn’t be so many naughty little shits darlings in school, that’s for sure.

Do you opt for 'gentle parenting' by any chance?
Because no doubt the teacher is used to dealing with 30 kids, most of whom are 'gently parented' and therefore have no discipline, and she is the only one imposing any boundaries.
It's intimidating, but not threatening FGS

Finally, someone who sees sense!

lol. 97% say YABU but of course the one other person who is shocked by this bit of nothing is the sensible one.

Me too...and I wonder if I was posting that my husband shouted at me 'Don't you dare interuppt me whilst I'm talking' if all the PPs would be giving a very different responses.

This isn't remotely analogous. But if you were on a training course and kept interrupting the trainer's lecture by twatting around in an infantile manner, they might well be justified in snapping this at you.

But I'm not claiming to be a 'perfect parent' who never shouts (which it seems you expect?!)

So you're allowed to not be a 'perfect parent' with merely 2 children yet you expect a teacher to be perfect having to deal with a classroom full, knowing that their day will be forensically dissected when they get home with every word taken as the gospel truth.

I am almost certain they would be saying 'get rid of him, he is abusive' etc, yet they are not saying anything negative against this teacher doing the same at a young child which is a sad reflection of the sort of attitudes there still are towards children being 'lesser' than adults

They are not ‘lesser’ but they are still learning so need to be told how to behave, do you see the difference?

My sisters a new primary school teacher and she has a short temper I have no idea how this has become her chosen career. Knowing her she definitely shouts at the kids. Not all teachers are like Miss Honey. I'd say something op.

"Roaring... in a threatening way" you didn't witness it. Your language has the teacher hung drawn and quartered.

I also quit teaching.

I am almost certain they would be saying 'get rid of him, he is abusive' etc,

Nope, they really wouldn't. If he was calling you a cunt, telling you to go fuck yourself, and shut up you slag then it would be a different story. But I really doubt you would have a single poster saying get rid, let alone an entire thread full of posters saying it.

When your child has a ‘teacher’ with a couple of GCSEs and no training stood in front of her, please look back at this thread, OP, and recognise that you are a massive, massive part of the current problem with the profession.

I would prefer my dcs to be taught in an environment where the teacher doesn’t stand any nonsense.
Good God no wonder teachers are leaving in droves if this is the crap they have to endure from parents.

It's no wonder no-one wants to get into teaching and they're leaving in their droves with parents complaining about every little thing. Teachers have 30 odd children in their class to deal with; sometimes it's entirely necessary to raise your voice. On the other hand on your watch a polite request to desist would probably go unheard and no one would learn a thing that lesson. Then you'd be complaining about that.

How is saying “don’t you dare interrupt me” threatening?😬
i mean, it’s not as polite as “child A, please don’t interrupt me while I’m in the middle of speaking” but you can imagine that by the end of the morning of teaching 30+ kiddos, you might want to be giving a short sharp response to having been interrupted again.

Children know they can put up their hand to ask something. If that child was just talking over the teacher, it’s not polite and can be a safety issue if the
teacher is trying to explain something important.

How is it OK for parents to shout but teachers have to remain zen in the face of 30 kids?