Got called "woke" for standing up for a teenage girl on the bus

[Bdaybdilemma]

Was on my way home from town. The bus arrived and a teenage girl who had been stood next to the shelter climbed aboard ahead of the older people in the shelter, skipping the queue. A man (maybe 60 but tall and big build) standing behind her beside the shelter, pulled her backwards using the handle of her backpack, forcefully enough that it pulled her whole body backwards. She didn't say anything to him, kind of awkwardly smiled.

I didn't say anything at the time as I was trying to establish whether she knew him. He then sat at the front of the bus talking to the women she'd attempted to push in front of, and the girl went to sit at the back. I had a chat with her, she was quite shy and told me she didn't know him and she was just on her way home from college.

Just before my stop I approached him and told him quietly I'd seen him grab the backpack of the young woman to pull her backwards and it wasn't ok. He said she'd tried to cut the queue and it was just a little tug.

The two women who he was talking to then starting saying it was disrespectful (not sure if they meant the line cutting or me confronting him) and "oh are you woke". I said regardless of what you think of someone's behaviour it's unacceptable to touch them, and if he had grabbed the backpack of an older person, would that be respectful?

YABU - he was right to grab her
YANBU - he shouldn't have grabbed her

She shouldn't of pushed in front of the older people in the queue tbh

She shouldn’t have skipped the queue
he absolutely shouldn’t have tugged her backpack - that was aggressive
the other two women are talking nonsense

Really doesn’t sound like you needed to involve yourself

He sounds like a thug and the two women sound like complete cretins.

The problem with this "woke" word is that it's now lost all meaning and has just become the catch-all rallying cry of Express-reading knuckle-draggers who don't have a clue what it means.

Yes the teenage girl was mildly self-centred but she's a teenager. An adult male should absolutely not be seeking to physically restrain a younger female for something like this.

You're right to have confronted him -- good for you. Wish I'd had the balls.

He's lucky she didn't smack him! Being pulled from behind she must have thought she was being attacked, I'd have gone into fight or flight!

No, he shouldn't have grabbed her regardless of her skipping the queue, he should have used his words. And I suspect he only did it because she's a girl and wouldn't have done it to an older male.

of course he wasn't in the right, what an awful man. people jump the queue all the time in London its not a massive thing.

I'm glad you told him.

I do think some people can get very fixated on this idea that younger people are all bad and need putting in their place. I don’t know if I’d have bothered telling him his behaviour wasn’t acceptable as to be honest that was never going to go well (not a criticism) but he should never have grabbed her.

He would have been well within his rights to protest verbally that she was queue jumping, but he put himself more in the wrong than her by manhandling her.

Exactly this.

Bet he wouldn't have grabbed a 6 foot bloke.

Yes she was ignorant to jump the queue but he could have spoke up. No one should be grabbing or pulling anyone.

If I hadn't, he would never have reflected on it. Maybe he'll think twice next time he goes to grab someone.

Ah, woke. The term that always crops up when people can't defend their actions with a valid reason.
She absolutely shouldn't have jumped the queue and he should have told her with words. No need to pull her backwards.

But she did. Still doesn't make it ok for someone to put their hands on her.

Older people aren't automatically more entitled to a seat first just because they're old,

No one has said they are. They were ahead of the girl in the queue.

It's completely lost its meaning hasn't it?

When someone uses the word "woke" now in conversation I always brace for a battery of poorly thought out Right wing invective about young people. Tedious as fuck.

Aveline 161, Idk if you know but cretin is a term for people with untreated congenital hypothyroidism & is not a term which is appropriate to use.

What he did is assault. Skipping the queue doesn't justify that.

Just because she skipped the queue doesn't mean some big man gets to assert dominance over her which is exactly what he was doing because he felt that he could.

If he was bothered about it he could have said 'excuse me, there's a queue' . But instead he chose to physically intimidate a young girl. The guy is an utterly creep.

Op I'm glad you spoke up, he's a cretin and deserved to be called out on his behaviour . You were much much nicer than I would have been about it.

He had no right to touch her and you are right to stand up for her.

Bus queues can be difficult - they can spread out and not be ordered lines - I've seen people arrive later but think because they've stood right at curb they should get on first ignoring rest of queue.

Teenager was rude if she was queue jumping - but man really shouldn't have grabbed and other women talking about woke were just being silly.

Sadly I expect the man won't reflect or change anything just feel just as entitled to do so even embolden as others defended his actions to you - but as you say if it had been a lad or a man like fuck would he have grabbed at them.

Nobody should be grabbing anyone.

The word 'woke' is an utterly meaningless term used by cretins to describe anyone who challenges them on anything from equality to health and safety. As soon as someone says it, I instantly know they're an idiot.

Regarding the alleged queue jumping, buses are tricky because often, there isn't really a proper queue as such. It's often a bunch of people just milling around rather than standing in a line, and people don't necessarily even know who happened to be there first. Unless it's extremely busy, people don't often form a line for buses where I live (Manchester).

You were right. And I don’t really see the issue if she was quick off the mark and there were plenty of seats on the bus. Technically she may have jumped the queue but she didn’t push anyone, and she didn’t stop them taking a seat. He behaved terribly.

Thank you so much for standing up for this young lady.

He should have said to her "excuse me, there is a queue" which hopefully would have made her think twice next time.

Instead, he acted aggressively and grabbed her. If it was the other way round, there would have been an outcry.

You were absolutely right to get involved. Maybe he will think twice next time.

Well done.

She was being a typical teenager - not in the wrong - they are always in cloud cuckoo land so she just waited for the bus then got on it when it arrived, simple. No wrongdoing at all.

He was massively overstepping to do that. The woman who felt she should have been first could, if she'd been remotely bothered, politely said to the girl that she was first. She didn't. And it wasn't up to the man to get involved. It was certainly not for anyone to be using physical force rather than words anyway.

Finally, well done for speaking to the girl. And well done for speaking to the fuckwit of a man. 👏 Just wish you'd given the women a piece of your mind too. Internalised mysogyny and overt ageism on their part.

It's this year's "political correctness gone mad" isn't it?

ie it's a get-out-of-jail-free card to have a go at anyone who disagrees with you, challenges your behaviour or asserts the rights of others not to be bullied or threatened, especially on the basis of their minority status or more vulnerable position in society.

When people use it I automatically switch off.